If you had a fussy/high-needs/high-crying baby...

[usydb]

... when did they/it get easier?

(He's under a paed and all reasonable medical concerns such as cmpa and reflux and tongue tie have been addressed)

OP Is there any practical reason he can’t spend most of the day in the sling, if that’s what he needs? That’s what I ended up doing (after a visit to a sling library to find something comfy enough to wear for hours), and we were both much happier.

I still used it in toddlerhood when tired / upset / clingy, on my back once she was bigger, and it was a complete sanity saver.

DC1 when he got on medication for his CMPA caused reflux, which wasn't fully resolved until he was about 6 months. He was still a velcro baby and playing catch-up for another year or so (it seems like forever at the time, but I can't remember now any more!). Didn't sleep through until he was over 3, by which time I had dc2, who was also very refluxy and didn't sleep through until he was around 4.

They were both a breeze as toddlers and are now lovely teenagers, so those few years seem very short compared to what some of my friends and relatives have gone through with troubled children/teens, tbh. They just hated the baby phase, were regularly in digestive pain and desperately wanted to do more than they were able to, which frustrated them. Once they became able to do stuff they thrived.

If it helps, I opened this thread to write “four months”!

My first DD was a tricky newborn but a pretty straightforward older baby and toddler.

4 months is pretty tiny I definitely wouldn't worry about the long term.

To be honest, he remained super high needs until about the time he started school 😬😬😬
Happy to report he's the easiest tween ever! But his babyhood did mean he never got a sibling - no way was I going through THAT again!

Mine was very difficult and unhappy at 3-4 months but definitely improved a lot around 5-6 months. Just to give you a more hopeful timescale!
Now 21 months, can still be demanding at times but is so much fun and happy.

Another one who got a lot better when mobile - about 8 months when he was able to crawl he got a lot happier. Still highly strung - starting nursery has been a mega slog but overall positive as he's much more comfortable with other caregivers now.

18months, slept like a dream after that and was a lovely calm toddler. Teenager now and is still great! Definitely hope for you OP

2.5 yrs, he just hated being a baby I think. He was an angry ginger from birth!

Still waiting for it to get easier .. 😂

Joking, kind of! My son was extremely high needs with colic, CMPA, severe reflux etc.

It got easier when he was around 1/1.5 but then once he hit 2 it got harder again, ended up being an extremely difficult toddler too. He's just turned 3 now and still very difficult but the increase in communication helps hugely.

I'm just grateful he started sleeping 12hrs a night from 6 months old!

It's a different kind of difficult in each stage and I'd say the screaming baby stage was by far the hardest for me - give me the toddler tantrums any day!

Erm, about age 6? Sorry!

If I'd had that baby in the Middle Ages I'd have been absolutely convinced he was a changeling. 🫣

Dc1 was like this. As a baby he was very hard work. At about 12 months I'd say things got (a bit) better. Then at 18 months we ran headfirst into the terrible 2s and it got absolutely shit again. By 3 he was much improved. He's now 6yo and an absolute dream of a child. I genuinely can't believe how easy he is given what a nightmare baby and toddler he was!

Another one of those here. HFA but challenging

I should have added that the sling only works when we're out walking, wearing the sling at home wouldn't be acceptable to Sir Fuss-a-lot.

Bizarrely my first was almost identical to him as a baby but I've managed to block it all from my mind! I know that from about 1 she's been a dream but can't remember exactly when it got easier. She's nearly 6 now and still a dream, if not a drama queen.

I'm not really worrying long term (not yet, anyway!)

I’ve only skimmed the responses so apologies if a PP has said it, but Dr Sears’ book changed things significantly for us. It’s essentially based on attachment parenting, is a very easy read and very validating (I found other mums just didn’t get what I was experiencing).

I think it’s called the fussy baby book. Things improved when I just went with it: used a sling, co-slept, BF constantly on demand, never used the pram, used white noise often etc. It really improved things. Things then changed massively by about 2 when my DS developed the vocabulary to explain his feelings more. He’s now a bright, happy and confident 6 year old who loves school and is very sociable. He often wakes through the night still but just climbs in with us and goes back to sleep. He’s still more sensitive than most but is generally a mild-natured boy anyway.

It’s a tough time when you’re in it so I feel for you. Remember to take care of yourself as much as you can xx