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Original poster

Fam is sharing pic of my baby without consent

57 replies

mummy1789 · 18/07/2023 23:56

I'm getting more angry each day. My baby is currently 6 months and on the day of birth (shortly after labour) my only one wish to my husband was to not share our baby's pic and protect him at all cost. It worked for maybe 1st 3 months. Then slowly my husbands family started sharing our pic with his face covered. Then they went full on and now sharing his photos on weekly basis. I was trying to be understanding, my MIL lives miles away, didn't meet the little one so I'm sending her pics and videos daily. I know it makes her happy. And it's their 'thing' to share pic on WhatsApp or Insta stories for all family to see. Bear with me, husbands side of family is counted in hundreds, add up friends - it will make it thousand in contacts. It's making me mad. Once, my MIL accidentally posted video of me with baby on family chat group - 10 ppl. He was laughing but I haven't had my trousers on. Deleted immediately. Few days ago, she posted very cute pic on her story, as soon as I sent her. She said then, so many ppl messaged her asking who's baby is it etcs. Its maybe funny, but I do believe in evil eye, since every time I posted anything, he had crazy tantrum for no reason. My BIL, who visits us once in month at best (lives 15min away) just posted his pic that I have sent him. I texted him that I believe in evil eye so do u have to post it? He said, I prayed blah blah blah don't worry. Im fuming.. I'll stop sending pic to anyone, if anyone want to see him can come over or video call..

OP posts:
ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 19/07/2023 00:08

What are you protecting him from?

GodspeedJune · 19/07/2023 00:12

It’s totally your right to say you don’t want your baby’s photo posted on social media or shared beyond the people you send it to. If they can’t respect this, you’re well within your rights not to share any more photos with them.

TooBigForMyBoots · 19/07/2023 00:12

I think it would be beneficial for you to speak to your GP or HV about your anxiety @mummy1789.Brew

Interested in this thread?

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Families General parenting
Thewarrioress · 19/07/2023 00:15

What is evil eye?

Jongleterre · 19/07/2023 00:16

How utterly ridiculous.

HirplesWithHaggis · 19/07/2023 00:18

Thewarrioress · 19/07/2023 00:15

What is evil eye?

Demons, djinn, and other such superstitions.

ladydimitrescu · 19/07/2023 00:20

Your baby isn't throwing a tantrum because his photo was leaked on WhatsApp.
He's not even having a tantrum - 6 month olds don't have them, he's being a baby.

Ihateslugs · 19/07/2023 00:21

Stop sending your relatives photos.

NoTouch · 19/07/2023 00:33

Where does this "evil eye" belief come from? Is it a family or cultural belief or just nonsense from your own anxiety.

Either way your anxiety will be more damaging to your child than any photo or makebelieve evil eye. Your anxiety is what you need to fix.

LordSalem · 19/07/2023 00:37

So just don’t send them anything else? You're literally feeding them what they're posting. Stop doing it. Evil eye rubbish aside. This one is on you. Stop feeding them.

Original poster
mummy1789 · 19/07/2023 00:41

TooBigForMyBoots · 19/07/2023 00:12

I think it would be beneficial for you to speak to your GP or HV about your anxiety @mummy1789.Brew

Im sorry what?? Haha. Evil eye aside, I just wonder if any of you have kids on their own and think of any pedo out there. Let's say out of 5k audience, do you excpect all this people to be with good intentions? If so, then I wish to have so much faith in humanity..

OP posts:
Original poster
mummy1789 · 19/07/2023 00:42

GodspeedJune · 19/07/2023 00:12

It’s totally your right to say you don’t want your baby’s photo posted on social media or shared beyond the people you send it to. If they can’t respect this, you’re well within your rights not to share any more photos with them.

Thank you, it totally comes to respecting someone's wish

OP posts:
Jongleterre · 19/07/2023 00:44

Don't you consider the baby to be a joint effort with your husband?

Doesn't he have a day in the matter?

Original poster
mummy1789 · 19/07/2023 00:47

Jongleterre · 19/07/2023 00:44

Don't you consider the baby to be a joint effort with your husband?

Doesn't he have a day in the matter?

He was supporting me at the begging. Now, because that's his mother, brother and friends who share pics. He's saying it's not a big deal

OP posts:
Original poster
mummy1789 · 19/07/2023 00:53

NoTouch · 19/07/2023 00:33

Where does this "evil eye" belief come from? Is it a family or cultural belief or just nonsense from your own anxiety.

Either way your anxiety will be more damaging to your child than any photo or makebelieve evil eye. Your anxiety is what you need to fix.

It's funny how most of you folks have focused on evil eye, but not a simple wish of not sharing child's face over internet. If you would make personal choice of yourself not wanting to come up on sm but your family would put you out there regardless, would you be happy about that?

OP posts:
Original poster
mummy1789 · 19/07/2023 00:55

ladydimitrescu · 19/07/2023 00:20

Your baby isn't throwing a tantrum because his photo was leaked on WhatsApp.
He's not even having a tantrum - 6 month olds don't have them, he's being a baby.

Whatever you believe so. If my baby wakes up suddenly at odd time in the middle of the night crying, I'm free to believe what I do. It's down to personal beliefs

OP posts:
Original poster
mummy1789 · 19/07/2023 00:55

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 19/07/2023 00:08

What are you protecting him from?

Do you consider internet to be a safe space?

OP posts:
42wordsfordrizzle · 19/07/2023 01:00

You need your husband on board with this.

Saying you're worried about the evil eye or a paedophile seeing a photo of your baby is obviously not working. I imagine you don't have your photo on social media, so perhaps say you want your sons privacy to be respected in the way you protect your own, and that he can choose when he's older.

Your MIL doesn't need daily photos and videos. You can print some photos out for her and post them, if she scans onto social media you can stop sending them.

Original poster
mummy1789 · 19/07/2023 01:12

42wordsfordrizzle · 19/07/2023 01:00

You need your husband on board with this.

Saying you're worried about the evil eye or a paedophile seeing a photo of your baby is obviously not working. I imagine you don't have your photo on social media, so perhaps say you want your sons privacy to be respected in the way you protect your own, and that he can choose when he's older.

Your MIL doesn't need daily photos and videos. You can print some photos out for her and post them, if she scans onto social media you can stop sending them.

Thank you for that, I guess that's the best route to address that issue.

OP posts:
DifficultBloodyWoman · 19/07/2023 01:37

You realise if you stop sending them pictures and videos, they’ll stop posting them, right?

Why not stop sending the pics and, if and when you are asked why you have stopped, say that you are not comfortable with them being reposted. No need for further explanation than that. You can then offer to start sending them again as long as they are not reposted. Or your in-laws may even suggest this.

Original poster
mummy1789 · 19/07/2023 01:40

DifficultBloodyWoman · 19/07/2023 01:37

You realise if you stop sending them pictures and videos, they’ll stop posting them, right?

Why not stop sending the pics and, if and when you are asked why you have stopped, say that you are not comfortable with them being reposted. No need for further explanation than that. You can then offer to start sending them again as long as they are not reposted. Or your in-laws may even suggest this.

I was always tempted to share best memories as they are missing out living abroad. Also, I wanted to always share equally with both sets of grandparents so if I was sending something to my mum (1st grandchild also abroad didn't meet him yet), i would same time send to MIL too..

Thats best solution, until they respect that. Thank you

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 19/07/2023 01:42

I don't like children's images on social media BUT you are not coming across as a reasonable person

Don't send them photos etc which may help to start

CuriouslyDifferent · 19/07/2023 01:49

I’m wondering if you need some help.

JoyApple · 19/07/2023 05:57

I totally understand where you are coming from and agree with you, this was our request too and it it's totally understandable.

On WhatsApp you can share disappearing pics, they can be seen once only and then disappear. Perhaps use this method till you figure out what to do?

I would also stop sharing so many pics and videos with others. Just share bare minimum. Rather do live facetime

mummabubs · 19/07/2023 06:46

My in-laws weren't able to respect our wishes re photos of our kids and social media. And like you, my DH was originally in agreement but also felt unable to challenge his family on this. I realised the only thing I could control was what I was doing... So I stopped sharing any photos with them.