How to handle the sadness of children growing up??

[giraffes2021]

Lately I constantly feel sad at the thought of our little ones growing up I've a 5 year old about to finish reception and a 3 year old due to start pre school.
It's making me want a 3rd child which I know probably won't help but it's making me sad. I feel like have I soaked up all the moments enough if I had said it was my 2nd was our last baby would it have been different?
I can't handle it its constant feeling of overwhelming that time is going too fast! Is this normal??

As I sit here on the eve of my child's 10th birthday, I can say it doesn't get any easier!
At least, not yet. I'm sure it will.

I get it, and I feel much the same.

All I can say is that there was a time when I didn't think my youngest would get to grow up, and when I more feel sad, I remind myself that there are worst things than growing up...

But I still shed a tear (or a dozen) at times.

Ps: her illness put the nail in the coffin of my third child plans.

I love my children growing up! Each month is a new adventure and I love seeing them develop into young adults. Don’t look at the past, look at the future. And, being a Debbie Downer, I know 3 different families who have lost children to cancer so I am grateful that mine are here, being annoying and being amazing.

Op
Mine are tween late teens and mid twenties now and yes I miss the magic of them days but I absolutely love spending time with my grown up kids.

They have awesome personalities and senses of humour.

They all go through their issues and it's def emotionally harder however they are amazing people to spend time with and watching them grow into independent young adults is an honour

Don't look behind, look ahead.
Enjoy the day to day moments but also remember that every new age and stage brings new pleasures.
I love how cute my little 3 year old is and I sometimes hate correcting her words because she says them in such cute ways.
But then I think about all the things we can do when she's older, how I can talk to her about more grown up stuff, go to school events, the list goes on.

What ever you do don’t listen to the songs slipping through my fingers or slow down- or maybe do listen if you fancy a bit of a weep.
Mine are almost teens. It’s gone by in a flash. A wonderful joy filled and sometimes frustrating flash. Just be thankful for each and every day you get to spend with them. Enjoy the little things and their little faces, each age has fabulous parts and harder parts.

I felt this most between 16/17/18. That's when I realised with surprise he had views and humour all of his own. He had sex first at 15 and confided in me a while a later. None of that troubled me. He's 21 now and a fine man who tells me a few times a week how much he appreciates me

If you type into Google the grief of motherhood/watching your babies grow up etc you will see so many articles on this topic!

For me, I knew my second would probably be my last and for a time was consumed with horrible thoughts about what if I never get to see them when they're adults...my husband told me not to be silly and there must be something wrong with me...but then I was chatting to the receptionist at the GP.

She told me not to put the baby down as one day I'll look back and realise how fast it all went. This got me googling and there's a poem about how one you don't know when it's your last night feed, time you carry them to bed, push them on the swings etc. Anyway, back to the lady. Her eldest moved away for uni and hasn't returned and her youngest is about to go to Oz indefinitely. She told me when she thinks about it she physically can't breathe and it hurts her heart.

So far motherhood seems to be the most incredible mix of love and loss, anxiety and joy I could ever have imagined.

Only child about to start secondary in September and I feel this keenly. I miss the toddler but I still see flashes now and then. Wonder if it's as strong as it is because she'll always be my only.

My kids are the same age. I've had this recently too. Really hard! Don't have any advice ❤️

I can so relate to this. DD isn’t even one yet and I so wish I could go back and enjoy it all again. Seeing her grow up is such a joy and I can just see I’m going to blink and have a ten year old.

Just enjoy each chapter.

Nature is clever though... when mine were older enough to want to want to start independent lives as young adults, I felt ready to wave them off and repurpose my energies also.

Nature will take its course.

You'll be counting the days until they leave once the stroppy, entitled, demanding, expensive teenage years start.

Yes, grieve the babies and toddlers they were, but enjoy the people they are becoming. I've enjoyed every stage of parenting more than the last, and I really like babies! My kids are both adults now, and it's a joy to spend time with them - they make me laugh, challenge my opinions, make me think and cook fantastic meals, offer fashion advice, make great cocktails and provide funny sarcastic commentary to the news or current affairs.

I see my child as growing into their own person which is a good thing, being sad only spoils what is happening and I refuse to look bad on sad thoughts/memories rather be happy with the ones we do have

I feel you - my DD is on the cusp of turning 13 and is turning into such a beautiful young lady, but my god I miss the days when she needed me sooo much and I was the centre of her world.
I think what keeps me grounded is having the privilege of seeing and enjoying her grow up. My DN passed away when she was 8 and I often think thank god she is here and I get to enjoy this (which then makes me feel incredibly guilty)
Being a parent brings out so many emotions that are quite often overwhelming x

It may have already been said but your children growing up is a privilege and far far from sad.

My dc are 22 and 19. Dd is my best friend and my ds is an amazing young man who I have a great relationship with.
We've just returned from a week's holiday, both dh & I had the best family holiday we've had in years.
No tantrums, no bedtime shenanigans etc, just a week of laughing, chatting and relaxing!

Life is an adventure! There's joy in all the different stages, something to look forward to not be sad about. Having a 3 and a 5 year old is wonderful, but 5 and 7 will be wonderful too. You've still got so many "firsts" ahead of you, watching them grow into the people they are going to be.

And eventually you'll have adult "kids" who you can go drinking with and who take you out for dinner!

You don't actually want to have a 3 and 5 year old forever 😂

I agree with a PP that in some ways it gets harder not easier (sorry!). My eldest is just turning 16, and it's suddenly hitting home that I might only have another two years of him living at home.

And if you really want a self indulgent cry, watch the film Boyhood. An extraordinary film anyway (about a boy growing up, filmed in 'real time' over 12 years using the same actor), but the last scene with his mum would rank up there for me as one of the most quietly devastating moments in cinema.

I do understand too ☹️

Not at all. Enjoyed most stages,some were hard. Can't understand empty nest syndrome either. I had friends weeping and wailing when their DKs left home for uni,even to get married! The village where we live, people seem to have been born a couple of miles away, relatives very nearby. They imagine that the fact my DKs live 90 minutes away on a good day means we don't have a close relationship. We do,my oldest DD is now 52, they look out for eachother. During lockdown, she shopped for disabled brother, got food to younger sister.

My dd has just turned 18. It never stops. You can’t keep having more dc as they will also grow up and leave soon enough. It will just stretch you to exhaustion.

Make the most of every day with them, try and embrace each stage as it comes. That’s all I can say. It’s precious.

I have a 17 year old and a 6 year old .my teen ds is so much fun and very funny and he still loves hanging out with me we go . My 6 year old is also great fun . It's a true blessing to watch kids grow .my dear friend lost her young child to cancer and that doesn't bare thinking about

My 19 year old son was so unbelievably cute and sweet and I loved every second of parenting him. He is off to live in Europe soon and I doubt I'll see him very much after that.

I'm proud of the man he has become. I know I did right for him.

Take lots of pictures, get lots of videos. Watch them often!

Oh, I love them growing up & becoming their own person! My youngest is almost 6, older 4 are 13.5, 12,10 & 8. It's great watching their interests grow. We've just done GCSE options with our eldest & the conversations we had with her , about what she'd like to do & where she'd like to go were the best. They still need you when they get older, just in a different way & there are still lots of firsts & lasts.