Other people's children following us home from school

[MucozadeOnLucozade]

This has happened a few times now and is driving me mad. Once school has finished, we walk home and we sometimes have commitments straight after school.

Recently, we have been walking home to find other people's children have tagged onto us and their parents no where in sight. We end up having to stop and wait for the parent to emerge from somewhere as feels it is just a safeguarding issue to leave them unattended or for them to follow us any further. Parent usually appears and seems oblivious to fact we have been waiting. They even follow us across roads and yesterday we decided to walk a different way home to a usual offender and child still followed us!

In end I turned to child and said quite bluntly to stop following us and we are not responsible for them.

Does anyone else have this issue? Husband says to ignore them, but when child is following us a different direction to their normal route it feels like kidnapping!

Argh!!!

As soon as you start walking out the school gate and notice some child following you, why can't you say it there and then? "You need to wait for your parents, you can't follow us, go back inside the school gate". Or mention it to the school teacher? Is there not some kind of order around collection times so that they only release a child of the parents appears? Where is the child's parents when they start following you?

How old are the children? If infant age I would just say to them, "you need to wait here for your grown up so that they know you're safe".

How old? I'd look for the parent of an infant aged child without an older sibling with them but not a junior child. Parents may not mind the child walking separately to them for independence or social reasons. I'd just carry on as normal with a junior child.

Definitely say it to them from the start, no matter their age.

Definitely mention it to the school. Very odd!

Even if they were your child's friend? Would you insist they walk 5m behind or in front? It's normal for children to walk together. Older children may not be with a parent.

So due to design of roads/pavements outside school is like a crowd mass and it's not obvious what's going on until about 150 metres down the street. That's when we realise we have a tagger and where TF is their parents.

I told child this week where is your parents and you need to stay with them. Child shrugs and says no idea. Then proceeds to still follow us no matter which direction we go. They got message when I was blunt.

I get impression as someone said above they are letting them have independence. But following us crossing roads, are we then responsible for them? It all seems strange. These kids are 8.

Another parent at school has same issue with other children about 6 years old.

To answer question above, yes there is order when child leaves school and child released if parent there. But whole school leaves at same time in huge mass down tiny section of pavement. It is very stressful!!

Eight I wouldn't have an issue with, 6 I would.

So if the child follows us a different route to their usual one and ends up by our front door and parent no idea where they are, you are saying this is okay?

I'd have an issue as it seems the child is following regardless of which direction the OP is going. Quite bizarre really just being followed in any random direction. Who does that?

It sounds like they are walking with you because they are friends with your child/ren, I don't get why it's such a massive problem especially as the parent is around anyway. I mean it doesn't make sense does it? The parent turning up at school to pick their child up. I truly don't understand people these days they seem to make problems when there is none, maybe got to much time on your hands?

The op has clearly stated that they need to wait around for the parent to turn up. So presumably if they didn't, the kid would end up back at their house potentially half a mile away from school and no where near their own home and with no parent. And you think that's ok?

If they know the area then they may know a few routes home. DS used to like to walk and chat to friends so may have taken a slightly different route then met up with me. He wasn't crossing main roads though, just side streets and knew he was responsible for himself.

I think it would help if the OP could clarify whether the child is a friend / known to their own child.

I would just keep reiterating every day "you can't walk with us, you have to wait for your parents or they will be worried". Each time you see them behind you firmly send them back in the direction they came. They'll soon get bored and get the message. Might also be worth letting the school know so they can perhaps send an email out reminding parents to be more vigilant with their kids at home time.

Is it a friend of your dc that your dc are chatting to or a fairly random child? At 8 plenty dc are walking home alone so I'd not feel responsible but if it's unwanted by both you and dc it's fine to say something

At 8 I wouldn't be waiting around, I'd just take my kids into my house and get one with whatever I needed to do.

Can you not speak to the teacher and say you are worried about the child? I doubt anyone would think you are kidnapping another child!

Why didn’t you ask him where his parents are and how he usually gets home from school? How would you like someone to treat your child if lost or frightened? Maybe he doesn’t have anyone to go home to?

It says they have to wait for the parent to emerge from somewhere which I assume is the school, if the parent has a couple of kids to pick up then perhaps it takes them a couple of mins, they don't have to wait, the children could be friends.

The child is in the same class. The parent is always miles behind chatting with other parents and probably thinks their child is fine as walking along with us and we go the same direction home to begin with.

How would you like someone to treat your child if lost or frightened? Maybe he doesn’t have anyone to go home to?

How do we know the child is lost or frightened?

Ds was the youngest in mixed aged classes and we were a 30 minute walk from school. I was still walking with him or meeting him halfway at an age he would have been fine to walk 15 minutes alone. Though, he liked a bit of independence with his friends being older than him so I didn't follow him closely if he wanted to walk with friends. He knew how the various side streets linked up.

The parent is there, just not attentive to their own child.

>The child is in the same class

So your DC's friend lives the same direction as you, and wants to walk with your DC?

You still don't say if your child is their friend and is chatting to them etc