Other people's children following us home from school

[MucozadeOnLucozade]

This has happened a few times now and is driving me mad. Once school has finished, we walk home and we sometimes have commitments straight after school.

Recently, we have been walking home to find other people's children have tagged onto us and their parents no where in sight. We end up having to stop and wait for the parent to emerge from somewhere as feels it is just a safeguarding issue to leave them unattended or for them to follow us any further. Parent usually appears and seems oblivious to fact we have been waiting. They even follow us across roads and yesterday we decided to walk a different way home to a usual offender and child still followed us!

In end I turned to child and said quite bluntly to stop following us and we are not responsible for them.

Does anyone else have this issue? Husband says to ignore them, but when child is following us a different direction to their normal route it feels like kidnapping!

Argh!!!

I would go and speak to the teacher. Say Oliver keeps following us home I have told him to go back to his mum but shes not really paying much attention as shes chatting and Oliver keeps following us. I had to be very blunt the last time before he stopped. I dont want this responsibility as I don't always go straight home etc and even if I do Ive literally got the child on my door step.

The issue I have is that I feel RESPONSIBILITY for them. If they followed us across a road and get hit by a car, who is responsible? I don't think that's right.

I have no issue with the child walking and chatting to my own child, but when it gets to the point where we need to go in a different direction and abandon them and parent no where in sight, it just feels odd. I don't see why I have to wait minutes in the street for the parent to appear so I know they are safe. We have things to do after school.

Are these busy main roads or just residential streets?

Mainly residential roads, one busy road through the village.

You don’t have to wait. The parent’s decision not to walk with their child is not your issue. You are not responsible for this child.

”We’re going this way now, you’ll have to wait for your grown up.”

So stop feeling responsible. It's not your problem

I completely disengage from other kids around me. Not my problem if they get hurt. And they have. Still not my issue.

Takes a village they say?

If it was a main road and I would be using a crossing or choosing a safe crossing point I wouldn't be worried. If I was forced to cross at a potentially dangerous point without visibility I would feel responsible for getting another child across safely.

I think you need to speak to the child's parent, and point out that you are often rushing and cannot be responsible for their child. I assume the kid is following on the offchance of being invited in?
We have a similar issue - some days I take the car to break the cycle a bit.

Yes, it's not just this child, there are others and yes they have followed us to front door and expected to be invited in.

Okay thanks for the varied comments. I think we will just continue to walk with purpose and as one said when we reach diversion point just say wait here, but I'm not doing anymore waiting in the street.

You need to speak to the teacher - not just abandon the child on the pavement after they've been following you. Tell the teacher that at home time, children X, Y and Z have been following you home as their parents are too busy chatting and not supervising their children and you do not responsibility for other DC.

A child with you got hurt?

Talk to the parents. Check what they're ok with. Make sure they know you can't be responsible for your child.

I would have a word with the school - who could then add a line to any letter/email that might be sent out (eg the back to school letter in September) saying something like - We know its a busy time as the children leave the school but please ensure your child is with you blah blah etc

Is contact the school and hopefully they'd put a email out. That's totally unacceptable and surely a safe guarding issue as school should make sure all child is with parent /caregiver

No a child who was following me and my kids and not being correctly supervised by her parents got hurt.

The fact I was there is nothing to do with me.

Talk the parent, if it continues talk to the head.

The school has already done the job of ensuring the child has met parent. But after leaving the school premises and onto the busy pavements, parent is just letting child wander off.

When I say we wait for parent to emerge, I'm taking about 400 metres down the neighbourhood! Otherwise at this point we fork off and child will follow us... So I changed our route to fork off earlier and child still followed when it wasn't even child's way home.

I think saying firmly “Go back to your mum - you aren’t walking with us” every time is the best option, @MucozadeOnLucozade. I would want to wait for the other mum and tell her to look after her own kid, but a) I probably wouldn’t have the nerve and b) she might kick off.

The answer to this is clear - you involve the school as the child is so young.
Speak to the head and explain that this child is following you home and you are worried for their safety as you are not in a position to supervise them. Explain that they won’t take no for an answer and parents are not around when this happens.

The school can till be involved even though they’ve done their job. They don’t yet know this is happening and they would be concerned enough to take it up with the child’s parents.

this is a safeguarding issue
I would be inclined to escort the child back into school and hand over to a responsible adult- they are not being adequately supervised. I'd say
'oh dear who is picking you up? where are they? Lets go back into school so you can wait for them there'

The child's responsible adult has also left the school and is behind the op and her children.