To working mums, how much "me time" do you get?

[mackchar]

Just that, really. I have two pre-school DCs and I work 4 days a week, look after DCs 1 day a week. Weekends I do all the childcare Saturday as DH is out all day with a hobby. Sunday ends up being a family day. I only have my evenings (8-10) as "me" time, but this is usually spent tidying and cooking. I'm exhausted.

I work most evenings and whenever I get a spare moment... I got my hair done 5 months ago, and I have a bath about once a month my OH has the kids for the day sometimes while I work ... and then thinks as a fair swap he can go do his hobby the next day..

I get a similar amount to you, with the exception of DH not leaving all day for a hobby. I work four days and have children for one.

I go to one Pilates class a week, that's my 'me time' and I get up before dawn to make it happen. Children are usually just waking up when I get back. I wanted to pack my Pilates bag and set my clothes out today so they would be ready for tomorrow morning. It took about 90 minutes because of the 'mum mum mum I need I need I need' interruptions and I actually started to feel really overwhelmed and resentful. Theyre preschool age, it's not their fault but I was just so fed up that I couldn't take two minutes in the course of the whole day to do something for myself and feel organised for once.

I feel like every spare minute of mine is already spent. I have a list of tasks on the kitchen worktop that only I ever do and scratch off. Really grinds my gears that DH's down time is actually downtime- he isn't the one emailing speech pathologists, researching schools, booking appointments, booking trades, planning parties, comparing internet rates and grocery shopping.

I don't know what the answer is. I've started just telling DH to do things, which I shouldn't have to. When I am still busy and he is sat on his phone I say 'can you empty the dishwasher while I do X please', 'since you're watching TV could you fold that laundry' and so on. He does it but I resent having to ask each time like it's a favour to me.

I had a fair amount of me time when it was just the one DC as it wasn’t so much of an ask to take a few hours out. Now we have two it’s 1 day sole childcare, 4 days working, and then weekends rushing around.

Today I am taking a day off, kids are in childcare and it’s fucking bliss. Dropped them, got some stuff done at home but just spent the last 90m watching a movie in bed 😁 I’m going to talk to DH about instigating a day each like this every 2 months or so to avoid either of us burning out.

Quite a lot as I really need it. Work 2 days a week, son in daycare 5 days a week.
I normally run errands in the "free" days but when my 1 yo goes to bed at 6pm that's 'me time'.

I make sure I eat before 6pm and tidy up the kitchen. All chores finished up by 6pm too.

I'm only having one kids as I love being a mum but I also love my own time.

I also sleep trained my son so when he goes down at 6pm I know I have 12 uninterrupted hours to myself. I couldn't go back to sleepless nights, nope !

I'm a lone parent, but I have more me time than you! I use my works flexitime policy to swim or go to the gym for an hour three mornings a week. I also do am exercise class three lunchbreaks a week. Could you get your husband to do his share of the domestic work atleast a few evenings a week so you can go out and do something? Even if that's just an evening stroll

I get evenings and the odd time here and there although planning something with friends has gotten harder as we all have kids.

Both me and DH understood that having young dc would mean that hobbies demanding full days frequently would be on the back burner until dc were older. DH has a hobby that is a weekend day maybe once a month and an evening every week or two. He's looking at taking up a more time demanding hobby but will do it with our 8yo (and bring in 3yo if they want to when they're old enough) because he fully embraces spending time with our dc.

I think downtime is important, but a whole day every weekend is pretty selfish.

Unless we count the time on my part time days where I sit in my car or have a stroll before school pick up, not as much as I'd like. Dh shift works so some weekends its me and the kids but I do get evenings if he's on nights or on weekends where we have no plans he might take them yo the park. I do book a day off work once every two months to spend by myself and feel no shame about it at all.

Both DH and I work full-time M-F.

We are all home by 6 from work/nursery and DH has prepped a dinner the night before or he sorts during the day if he works from home.

We both help out during bath time and then DH pops downstairs to tidy up from dinner/pop on a wash.

So theoretically we both have free time after 8pm and we have a power half hour of blitzing a chore. CBA doing any more as I am tired. DH sometimes works out or goes for a bike ride.

We are happy to hold the fort if one of us wants to go out for a drink after work etc.

in your shoes I would be asking dh to take the children out for at least 2 hours most Sundays so you can that proper time to yourself that you need. Or go out to a cafe and take a book or something.

if you have something else on you catch up on that time by going out for a walk or something while he does bedtime

my dc are now 10, 7 and 5 and it is much easier but I’d like to go back in time to when they were little and tell myself

1. you’re a better mum when you have a bit of time to yourself (and therefore not selfish)
2. no one will give you permission or facilitate you getting time… you need to instigate and arrange it!

Zero but by choice, when I’m not working it’s either housework or children. They’re my priority until they leave home. I’ll rest in a decade 😂

I do get the occasional weekend day/afternoon to do something nice.

I WFH three days a week and have DC at home with me two days (three days for the baby as one of my work days is a weekend day). I get quite a lot of time really, we share bedtime so the kids are asleep by half 7 and we make sure chores are done before bedtime between us so after half 7 is just adult time. My husband also takes them when he finishes work on the days I have them solo so I have some time to decompress!

At weekends we tend to do family stuff, but if one of us wants to do something solo then that's fine, we have plenty of give or take. I've got an afternoon/evening out next weekend for example so DH will have them most of the day.

Also due to my working hours, I have most of the two nursery days to myself too as I usually start later afternoon, so I have a good 6-7 hours two days a week during the day to do stuff just for me (flipside is I work evenings on those days so lose evening 'me' time).

Oh and right now DD2(12mo) is napping and DD1 (4yo) is off doing something in the playroom (potentially destroying it from the sounds of things) so I'm having a cup of tea and a biscuit and browsing MN. I try to grab little pockets of time during the day to recharge and not spend it doing chores - I find a more focused 30 mins or so when DH is another pair of hands to either pitch in or watch the kids is more useful anyway.

@mackchar you need to leave the house on a Sunday for the same amount of time that your Dh has to himself on a Saturday . Otherwise you won’t get a break , he will keep annoying you on your day off or encouraging the kids to do so.

I know it’s not Ideal to have to go out but it’s the only way. And turn off your phone ( unless your Dh keeps his phone on him and takes your calls when he plays sport ).

My kids are both primary age now and it’s getting a whole lot easier.

During my lunch breaks I go for a 1 hour walk and 1 evening a week I meet a friend for a longer evening walk. I also go to a 1-hour fitness class one evening.

Fridays I don’t work but reserve the day for cleaning, running errands etc. I don’t know whether that counts as me-time or not.

Weekends are mostly spent taking kids to clubs but when they are having downtime on their iPads I grab some time to relax.

I think anyone with a husband with an outside hobby who has home hobbies eg sewing reading really needs to focus on fair and discuss it with their husband. Do you have a second living area? Husband needs to be able to say ok kids mums in there, let’s let her alone, and keep them out for a few hours while getting the housework or cooking you would get done while he’s out going. He can’t do nothing but parenting if you always combine parenting and getting house stuff done.
but personally my Dh taking all Saturday all summer would piss me off.

I do Pilates one night a week, we both try and go for a run on the weekend. He plays footy one night a week. He usually goes out more, but that might change now I’m leaving the baby years. However one thing I’m working on is when he goes out I work my ass off to tidy up dinner and sort things and pick up the dc clothes before sitting down. He has in the past done much closer to fuck all so I’ve explained that to him and that it’s not ok and won’t be continuing. And similar with his hobbies too- I found i never got to take any me time as if he didn’t cover me when I’m out like I do him then the catch up is too hard with 3 young Dc and full time work.

Think you need to have a word with your DP.

I have evenings to myself as soon as DS2 is in bed around 7pm. I go to the gym/dance class 3-5 evenings a week.

DH has DS all day Friday whilst I work. I also work 4 days and have DS on Monday.

Weekends are dependent on plans. I sometimes go to the spa for the day and sometimes my DH goes and does his hobby for a few hours.

I have just given up work but the three children are with a childminder on a Monday so I get Mondays to myself to do house work etc!

Quite a bit. I work 4 days, have DD on Monday’s.

Tues-Fri eves I get about 1.5hrs a night with my horse then weekends I ride in the mornings so 8-12ish. Weekend afternoons are family time.

DH does nursery pick up and bedtime. I do drop off and mornings.

I work 3 days a week and have a child at school and a toddler. Toddler naps 2 hrs a day so I get those hours on my 2 weekdays off. I either do housework or have a bath/read/get lunch etc. 2 hours goes surprisingly quickly!

In the evenings I tend to be cooking, putting older DC to bed or doing something with them or tidying, packed lunches etc. DP works away quite a few weekends especially in the summer but when he's around he will take toddler DC so I can have a bath etc. Older DC has EOW with his Dad. It's hard as when I do have time to myself I really need to be sorting the house (which is currently pretty cluttered/messy) but it's just so tempting to read a book or have some downtime.

OP if I were you, I'd try and take every other Sunday or half a day every Sunday to do something for yourself without kids/housework involved. At least during the summer while your DH has his hobby.

My me-time is after the kids have gone to bed, so from about 8pm to 9:30-10:30 depending on my tiredness levels. I work Mon-Thurs then have the baby (ten months) Friday. I do most of my housework then. DH WFH on a Wednesday and that's when most of his housework gets done. On the weekends managing the baby and the toddler (2.5) is a full time job for both of us, especially if we're going out or having guests, but if necessary one of us can take both for an hour or and get some more housework done.

Honestly I consider ~2 hours of me-time a day pretty good going with two under 3!

Both DH and I work full-time M-F and we have 3 DC, 2 of which are school aged and one who is a toddler.

DH works from home so he does school runs. I flex my hours so I'm home by 4, which gives me time with the DC until he finishes work around 5 or 5:30. Usually this is when I'll start prepping dinner whilst going over school with the older DC.

DH is big on mealtimes with the family so we usually sit down to eat at about 6. Then we either have DC activities (piano, swimming, etc.) or our own hobbies. One person is usually out whilst the other does bath/tidy/bedtime. It's pretty rare that we have a night without something on.

Once we're all home again there's usually an hour or two, depending on how late we plan on staying up, for just DH & me.

Weekends are different in that I'm out of the house for a good chunk of the day - again, usually at quite an early start - and DH is out in the late evening. I feel like we get quite a good balance at the moment, but our DC are (mostly) older, and I get plenty of time for my own hobbies. The thing that has worked for us is to make sure we have that time scheduled in, and that everyone is aware of what is going on at any given time. That admin work almost always falls squarely on me, but if that's the price of being able to carve out what my mother seems to consider an extraordinary amount of time for myself then it's not the biggest problem!

I work 3 days a week. Both kids are at school. Assuming DH goes in to the office I have those 2 days (9am-3pm) to myself. It's amazing! I don't do anything hugely exciting - mostly house chores and pottering in the garden. However, these are my favourite days of the week because I'm alone and the house is quiet.

20 minutes a day and circa 4 hours sleep per night. My kid has SEN so i have to be in his room when he sleeps. Single mother