What do you do in the evenings, when kids are getting older and still up!

[Hiddiddleyho]

My Dd is 8yr 8m, she goes to bed at 8:40 ish normally so I'm expecting that to be 9 or 9:15 in the school hols. My issue is what to do after about 8pm when my youngest is in bed. I'm a bit 'done' then, so no way am I playing. Dd's not a willing reader - likely dyslexic. We could play a board game but tbh I'm not keen to always do that. I don't feel able to put my own choice of TV on in the living room. We don't have tv's in the bedroom. I'm not sure how I will ever get to watch any of my own TV, I normally go to bed before 10:30. Not sure what to do now she's getting older. What do others do in the late evening slot with kids around?

I can’t help much as I have 4 but the eldest is same as age as your DD. I basically don’t intend to change his bedtime for the holidays, he goes to bed at 8 everyday and listens to an audiobook in bed. I really like having some evening to myself!

However I know that’s not really answering your question because of course there will come a day when the kids are up in the evening so I’d also be interested to hear what others say in response to your question!

Mine entertain themselves usually, gaming/ipads/reading/lego. Weekends we might all walk to the local pub as kids are allowed in until 9, play cards or board games or have a takeaway and movie night. Sometimes there's something on TV we all might watch like a football match or BGT. I have a younger one too (5) but she tolerates the later weekend nights perfectly fine.

My DD is 9 and normally in her room by 8.30/9. She listens to audio books mostly or draws at her desk if not tired. Def wouldn't be doing board games a 9pm at night.

We all hang out together. Or they hang out in their rooms / the second sitting room (tv/Xbox in there). I’ve been going to bed before my kids for years now.

We all hang out or he entertains himself. He's still awake now playing on the VR with his friend. He's 9

How do you watch anything you want to watch, that's not appropriate for children?

Blimey - they entertain themselves at that time.

On Friday / Saturdays when at home we might do a family board game thing, but other than that after dinner leave them to it until bedtime reading.

At this age learning to occupy themselves is an essential life skill.

8:30 to 9pm becomes room time, rather than bedtime, and you can say so parents get a bit of quiet time together, so get anything you want now, or else!

Kids go upstairs earlier for bath and then to read in bed at least an hour before actual bedtime.

I usually leave non-child friendly stuff till 9, by which time they would be on their way to bed.

But once a week I’d say it’s totally fine to have something grown up on from 8 and say they need to do something else.

You are not a 24/7 entertainment centre. You need time out to be a good parent.

This is interesting actually, I feel like we're way off some of these. I can't imagine Dd pottering about on her own quietly. I think she'd disturb her brother if she was in her room, and I don't think she'd be that willing. I might rearrange it tomorrow to give her a desk though. We're not very tech literate, we've got a tablet but most of the games are a bit young, and I don't want her on things like Roblox yet.

Maybe drawing / colouring could work.

We make it very clear that once it gets past 9pm it's grown up time - which means they're there by our grace.

We tend to watch an episode of something we all enjoy (Ghosts or Taskmaster for example - I've been trying with Vicar of Dibley recently but they're not having it, much to my chagrin). Sometimes we play cards, sometimes we all chill out together on our own individual devices. Sometimes they go upstairs and write/listen to music or an audiobook/draw etc until it's actually lights out. Sometimes they spend an hour doing handstands onto the sofa which is fine as long as it's not in the room I'm trying to relax in! It varies a lot.

What are you planning to watch between 8-9?!

I tend to watch stuff like The One Show, stuff on Dave (game of cards, QI, would I lie to you), maybe some news.

It's not like you must watch horror slash save that for after 10

We’d just suggest they watch something else in the other room, or do homework, or play fifa together or something. Quite often we have shows that we are watching in some combination of the four of us and can choose between them as to who is around, so this usually works out fine. Once they are at secondary the work ramps up so our older one is often working in the evenings

Ha! No fear, I have tame viewing habits,
I think part of the problem is that I go to bed at 10 or half 10, so if kids are up until gone 9 my time is squeezed and I can't fit an episode of anything in!

My DS is 9. Sunday - Friday his bedtime is 8:30, he is usually either playing out or on the PS with his friends until 8 then has to come down and chill with us til 8:30.

His late night is a Saturday, he can stay up as late as he wants but he has to be down stairs with us it doesn’t mean stay up late on the PS! We will watch a film with snacks, or play board games. We also like to watch music videos on YouTube. Without fail he falls asleep on the couch before 10:00 every Saturday 😂 also interested to hear what happens when they get older and you can’t ship them off to bed at 8:30! I love my evenings!

I wait til he’s in bed to put my programmes
on and/or crack the wine out.

Both my are upper primary and are in their rooms by 8pm. I don't have official bedtimes for them, they can read draw play toys etc no screens til they feel tired. But 8pm in their room is non negotiable.

We used to have “ Family fun night” on Fridays when our two were younger. We took turns to choose an activity e.g. family film, game, Singstar, Buzz music quiz

Nice to have a night like that. Happy memories.
Important for you to have some you time though.

Maybe a box of craft type activities in your daughter’s room? Basic jewellery making, scrapbook type, colouring and activity books. Write on wipe off magnetic type board. Nothing too messy.
Comics, easy read high interest books. Possibly some toys she’s “ grown out of” but may enjoy playing with?

Mine are 7 and 9 and I’m done with parenting by 7.30.
They can either play in their rooms/ read/iPad or watch the tv in the other room.
The only caveat is if we’re having a movie night and we’re watching something together. Otherwise I pick the tv viewing.
They need to entertain themselves or go to bed. I need down time before I go to bed at 10

We're a mix of watching TV or reading together for the last hour (8-9) with hot chocolate or similar. Youngest (9) gets into pyjamas first. Its a lovely end to the day. Its our only chilled out time together after hectic day school, clubs, dinner, finishing work etc.

Currently watching modern family at bedtime. Occasionally we skip an episode that seems grown up but he loves it and the relationship bits that are grown up are mainly over his head.

But agree if you want time to yourself at that age they will be happy to read. I sometimes have work to finish and kids will potter by themselves.

Our older kids have to be in their rooms with screens from after 8pm - either reading, drawing, doing puzzle books etc. I then go back up to do lights out & kiss them goodnight by 9pm. Exceptions for watching a movie/ football match/ Strictly Come Dancing etc together at the weekends. If your 8yo is a reluctant reader audiobooks might be a good option - something like a Tonie box to listen to quietly.

Often they disappear off to their rooms or watch something with us. If it is something they find boring then they disappear off to their rooms sooner. There is sometimes last minute homework or revision to help with too. Discussing what they want to do/ study.

My 8yo is the youngest so always has siblings around. When the oldest was that age I think we read books or watched tv that was ‘older’ and not suitable for littler ones. Used that time to give 1:1 time. They also spent time in their room etc which is always what they liked doing.

Your DD is coming up 9 and doesn’t entertain herself for half an hour? If she is NT then this is very surprising and unusual. No wonder you’re tired if she’s never having to occupy herself at all.

i agree in bedroom by 8pm for quiet play/reading/drawing and lights out at 8.30 or 8.45. If she’s bored then her other option is to go to sleep earlier.