Do you plan life around naps? Family making me feel crazy

[Bluecrayon45]

My 1yo has always been a dreadful sleeper so you could say I’m a bit obsessed with his sleep and I’ve worked really hard to improve it in every way that I can so we’re on quite a strict routine, which he thrives on. I tend to plan things around nap times but family make out that I’m a crazy and he should just fit in with whatever I need him to and that “he’ll just drop off if he’s tired”. He’s always been a very alert baby and has struggled to sleep on the go from birth but would often be ok in the baby carrier but now that he’s older, he won’t sleep on the go at all. He’ll just keep going and going until we’re home and then he has an absolute meltdown as he’s overtired.

Did you plan your life around naps or just go with the flow? Am I crazy for prioritising his sleep? I know with a second baby I might not have this luxury but currently I do. What is normal to do?

I do to an extent. She sleeps much better in her cot. However, if we're going out for the day and have to leave in the morning I'll try and leave around her nap so she can sleep in the car. Just makes everyone's life's easier. No one likes a grumpy toddler 🤣

I have a 13 month old and a two and half year old and while I don't plan my life around naps, I do make sure they nap. Either in the pram, the car or the cot. But i can't stand being stuck at home so having a strict cot sleeper then I'd go crazy! Just whatever works for you. My two sleep well in the car or in the pram so works well.

And actually in a weird way the predictability makes it easier, because you can plan your day around it

No, I didn't. But I think it's absolutely not crazy for you to do so if it works for you. I think it's just important that if you're the one planning around naps that you accept when you can't go to things rather than expecting everyone else to plan around your nap schedule - I've encountered a few of the latter and it's both infuriating and completely impossible if you get more than one of them going to one event!

No, absolutely not, because if we don't all get out and about then I go crazy. But if you want to, then do it. Do what works for you as long as you don't expect everyone to also fit into your timeline. I find I often am expected to fit my children into friends' babies naps and I can't always be bothered with that.

I did with my first 2, they were okay sleepers at night but picky about naps. We didn't make it so they could only sleep at home- they'd sleep in friend's houses in spare rooms/on sofas/in arms etc so we could carry on somewhat, but timing was crucial. With DD3 and 4, they napped when they needed it, wherever and whenever which was life changing. Do what works for you, tell anyone against that to fuck off

Our DD is 1 too. We generally stick to timings but thankfully we've always been able to nap her easily in the pram, so we're able to do it on the go. But yep, otherwise things do bend around naps for us, and we're always home in time for bedtime routine, wherever we've been. DD didn't sleep at night for more than 2hrs stretches for the first 7.5 months, so there's no way we'd mess with that. 😅

If whatever you are doing is working for health and harmony, OP, stick with it! Ignore everyone else. You can review each time something essential needs to shift, i.e. dropping naps, childcare, 2nd child etc.

We generally go with the flow but I have an older daughter and we have classes and playdates and stuff, so our routine needs to be fairly fluid to allow us to do those. If I'm making plans to do something that isn't on a schedule then I'll try do it around DD2's usualish nap times, but I wouldn't miss an event or not meet a friend or something because of it. She prefers to sleep in her cot and doesn't really sleep in the pram etc. so we do need to find some time in the day for a nap at home if we can.

And I think it's fine to plan your own life around naps, but not if you're expecting other people to alter their plans or always fit in with your plans or adhere to strict timings of when they can do stuff. But it doesn't sound like you're doing that!

I would say the answer is a bit of both. I would say as a general rule there is no issue with your first if you want to plan around naps but for a something special such as a family wedding/ celebration then not be as ridged as it's a one off and if it throws them off for a couple of days my view is it's worth it for that.

I only have one child at the moment (2.5) so i imagine it will have to change when no 2 arrives but up until recently we 100% planned around naps. Him missing a nap/ not getting a full nap was the difference between me having a happy child and a miserable terror. I don't care if people thinks it's crazy, it greatly affects my qaulity of life

Yep.

Dd is 2y 9m and as she was a baby in lockdown, all I could do was get her nap time routine down to a t! To this day she still thrives on her usual night time routine.

6mo ds and I try to nail his naps as much as possible. It's my only time to get stuff done properly! Bonus when they both nap at the same time!!