Do you plan life around naps? Family making me feel crazy

[Bluecrayon45]

My 1yo has always been a dreadful sleeper so you could say I’m a bit obsessed with his sleep and I’ve worked really hard to improve it in every way that I can so we’re on quite a strict routine, which he thrives on. I tend to plan things around nap times but family make out that I’m a crazy and he should just fit in with whatever I need him to and that “he’ll just drop off if he’s tired”. He’s always been a very alert baby and has struggled to sleep on the go from birth but would often be ok in the baby carrier but now that he’s older, he won’t sleep on the go at all. He’ll just keep going and going until we’re home and then he has an absolute meltdown as he’s overtired.

Did you plan your life around naps or just go with the flow? Am I crazy for prioritising his sleep? I know with a second baby I might not have this luxury but currently I do. What is normal to do?

I go with the flow. When I had DD, I was so obsessed with naps and sleep but when I stopped stressing about it then it was fine. She's almost 2 now and on one nap and it happens wherever we are.
DS is almost 6 months and he naps whenever and wherever. It's so much easier for me and for them as I'm not forcing them to nap in a cot and trying for ages to get them to sleep.

But if what you're doing works for you, then carry on. No-one else is having to do the day to day but you and that's what matters

Whatever works. I absolutely did and was kind of in awe of friends who didn’t mind when or where their baby slept, but also didn’t really want that for myself anyway. Knowing my littles ones would sleep at a certain point for a good chunk of time at home kept me sane (and during covid was the only way I managed to do any home learning with my older two). I could count on some quiet time for myself or with my older child. But depends on your baby. My first would only sleep with constant movement, so the idea I could casually have them drop off and then sit down and enjoy an hour in a park or with friends was impossible. But she had great naps at home, so it was natural to do that with my subsequent two.

Yes I did but it was easier as my older child is in school.
I don't plan around now she's two though.
She falls asleep in her push chair at some point when out every day but only for 30 mins. She would nap an hour at home though and has always been the same. Ever since 4 months old she'd only do a long nap at home in her cot .

Mine are bigger now but I worked around naps for sure.
It totally depends on the baby and what's going to be easier to get through the day.
You do you OP

I would rather shit in my hands and clap than disturb the nap schedule, especially as half the time whatever the plan was does not justify the horrible night we then have when it was disrupted!

My baby never slept in her pram, never just dropped off. I remember at a family wedding at the side of the dancefloor were rows of sleeping babies and toddlers in prams, where as mine was losing her ever loving shit because she wanted to go to bed, in the dark.

She got better at it when she was a toddler. It was a relief when she finally dropped the naps!

@Seasonofthewitch83 😂 your first line really made me laugh!

It’s your choice and I think a routine is a good idea if you are returning to work soon. However, I used to think it was a bit odd if I was out with another Mum who said they had to drop everything and leave immediately due to the nap schedule

No we've never had a strict sleep/nap routine. We try to stick to a loose schedule on days we are home and can do it, but would never not go out and do something just because it was 'nap time'

I didn’t

my baby is a good sleeper in the cot but not on the go. If I have plans I will just pit her to sleep when I am home.

Its so much more effort for me to stick to a routine than to deal with the occasional tired baby.

I have a routine with my son. Sleeps through the night and takes his naps. Routine is important.

I used not to but since my 15 month old has dropped to 1 nap I have been more strict about making sure they take it at the correct time.

It makes bed-time more predictable and I don’t end up with an over-tired child which is no fun for anyone.

We did, DD1 would be a nightmare if we missed her 11am nap. We would plan our day so that we were either home for a nap in her crib or so that we left at 11 so she could nap in the car.

Do whatever works for you! We worked round the naps mostly, I would set up normal social things on either side of nap. However if there was a birthday party or something then would skip nap

I did try to make naps have an hours flex on either side so slightly varied to help with planning things, that may help? E.g. mine had a normal nap 1pm-3pm but I could put him down anywhere between 11am (if I woke him earlier) or 2pm and made sure to move it about by half hour often just to help so if we got an invite to a 2 hr kid party we could normally find a way to make it work :)

With our first we worked around the nap - she didn't have that setting where they drop when they're tired. She needed to be helped over in the dark and quiet and if we missed the spot when she was tired she would go to an overtired nightmare in what felt like seconds.

Second will sleep wherever if she's tired which is much easier. We're more flexible with her. I think if our eldest had been the same I'd be rolling my eyes at those who work around naps but honestly with some you just have to.

My baby completely refuses to nap anywhere other than his cot! He just loves it and he is a great little sleeper but it's annoying if we have to go anywhere! But as someone else said it's such a short period of time that they're that small so we just go with it.. going on holidays soon and dreading it cos I know he will not be one of those babies sleeping in his pram 🙈

I have twins and needed the schedule to survive the early days. It was a PITA but it doesn't last forever. They were never the kind of babies who would have slept in the pram while we had a meal on holiday for example.

I did mostly plan around naps. You need to do what works for you. Its just a short season of life. I can see it from the other side, family can forget or not understand how challenging and tiring life is when you have very young children. Most people, even parents, don't really want to sit down for a relaxing lunch out on the dot of 12! It is such a short time though. Maybe point that out to them.

I have 4 DC. I can categorically state, that of my children, the ones I was able to get to stick to a strict routine, were the best sleepers.

we have too much going on now, to be able to stick to a routine, and yes, while the youngest will sleep while ‘out’ it’s hit and Miss and provides zero respite for me and is not as replenishing as a really good ‘cot’ nap.

Keep doing what you are doing if it’s working for you.

I know this isn’t practical for everyone but I had a big old pram my sister gave me and I sourced a new thicker mattress for it and mine napped in that. I could move it around inside the house (open plan downstairs with hard floors) and they went on the terrace in most types of weather except rain and yet they could stretch out to sleep. So although it was a regular nap they rarely slept in their cot in the day time. It was very convenient because I could move them to be in clear sight of whatever I was doing at the time.

The first year I absolutely had a nightmare and I was VERY strict with naps because of it.

After his birthday he dropped down to one nap. Once he had adjusted to this, he was so predictable. I did still plan my day around the nap, but for family holidays or occasions when we HAD to change the routine, flexibility was possible and it was all smooth sailing even with the adaption. I do still keep to his schedule, but I'm no longer ruled by it because I put in all that effort establishing it in the first place.

I did with my first but with my
Second I don't it's not possible. Been blessed with two great sleepers though.

I worked around naps. It was what worked best for my little one and for me. I needed that nap time for me to relax, rest and recharge.

Just say to your family that this is what works best for you and your dc. It is what you want to do and even if they do/did it differently can they just respect that this is the way that you prefer.

I do!! Rest is king!! When the baby has slept everything is better and everyone is happier. When she’s asleep I want to be HOME sitting on the sofa etc. A nap out of the house is a massive waste imo.

Yes and it sux, but I think it's worth it to have a baby who has slept for 12+ hours every night since 9 months with zero fuss. Don't mees with the routine if it works is my motto