Bed time for 5.5 year old

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Just wondering what time everyone's 5.5 year olds go to bed?

Since the clock change, dd is staying up later and later... last night it was 9.30pm 🤯 She wakes up naturally around 6.15 every day.

Problem is I am a single parent and I work full time in a stressful job. Which means that I am internally screaming by 8, and literally on my knees by 9...

This evening, despite a week of school, various activities etc, she is still 'not tired'. Sadly I am beyond exhausted, so I have said that she can play quietly in her room until she feels tired and then she can go to bed, but she is not to call for me or come out unless it is an emergency. Now I feel really guilty but I need a fucking break and I've got so much to do!!!!

Is this another sign of her getting older... most of my other mum friends say their similarly aged kids are in bed and asleep by 7.30!!!!!

That’s too late. I wouldn’t have any truck with ‘not tired’. It’s still time to rest.

My just 5 year old goes to bed anytime between 6.30 and 7.30, very very rarely is up until 8 if we have been out or something. No matter what, she wakes at 6.40 or earlier. I do think that it's early for her age really but if she stays up she ends up silly, defiant, and then goes a bit hyper and it ALWAYS ends in tears! She has a little brother who is nearly 2 and he's exactly the same, although he loves a lie in!

Put her to bed for 7 tomorrow. She could be overtired. This heat is knackering.

You need your time in the evenings.

Stories at 6.45 lights out by 7, asleep by 7.30. 8 if it's a bad night (she does sometimestake a while to drop off, listening to story tapes). Awake at 7. But I guess then are all different!

Ughhhhhh, I suspected this. She genuinely isn't tired though, she is full on from the moment she wakes, and nothing tires her out 😭😭😭

She's now shouting 'mummmmmmmmy' through the door at me. This is the point where I literally lose my shit and end up shouting as I just can't take it anymore.

I've tried bribery, threats, etc. Its hard to do it any earlier, due to work, picking her up from after school club, dinner, and bath etc although I do aim for 7.45. I have zero support (father abusive and not allowed contact, my own family very disinterest and hands off, I've had one evening off from doing bedtime since she was born and that was because I was in hospital recovering from an operation!).

Any tips or advice would be great.

Usually about 7.30. She shares a room with her sister (3), they will both go to bed for 7ish and have a bedtime story or chapter in bed. If her little sister falls asleep first and we're reading a chapter book oldest (5.5) is into, we may end up reading on a bit longer until 8ish. Recently there's been a lot of "not tired", but been doing lots of transition stuff at nursery for starting school after summer so think lots on mind! Plus the light nights!! After 8 though she will be in bed in her room maybe looking through a book or listening to music and usually drops off quite quickly.

Dd age 5 goes up at 7.30pm but takes ages too unwind so not asleep until around 8.15pm.
She sleeps until 8am though !

when dd1 was 5, she went up at 7pm and was fast asleep every night at 7.10pm. Didn’t know how lucky we were at the time !
Though the downside with dd1 is she is awake at 7am no matter what time she goes to bed . Sometimes we get 7.15am out of her

Maybe your dd needs more time to unwind , it seems her days are very busy . So tough doing it on your own .
You can’t make her sleep and I think it’s perfectly fine to tell her to play quietly in her room if she’s not tired .
Have you tried a tonie box? Something like that in bed at around 7/7.30pm might help her unwind ?

Maybe tomorrow during the day tell her your expectations for bed time and tell her a few times until it sinks in. Can she read? Reading or an audio book might help?

Reading for say ten mins then go back for lights off.

Just turned 6yo goes up at 7:45, lights out at 8, then he hums to himself for about half an hour...

You can't make her sleep, so I suppose it's how you get her to chill out quietly. How about an audio book?

She does get wind down time whilst I make dinner and sort her bath etc, admittedly with the iPad, but nothing I can really do about that, I haven't got time to play after school/work as have to sort dinner and clear up, (and now that I've typed that I feel even more guilty), and in the bath.

I read her a story, and she has a Yoto so I put the sleep radio on, but that seems to have lost it's magic touch.

She's been out three times since my last post, once to go to the toilet, once to tell me something and once for another cuddle and to tell me she can't sleep.

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I agree with others, don't worry about the sleep just decide a time- 7:30/8pm fir example abd she needs to be in her room. Do story and leave her to chill/ listen to music/ play etc. I would in your shoes do a reward next morning for staying in her room- pancakes for breakfast is a great bribery tool!

My son was like this and now I go to bed with him. I lie next to him in the dark and don't talk to him, if he says anything I just say shhh and eventually he goes to sleep. I have to be calm and not rush it and just trust the process. He falls asleep after about half an hour but because I start at 7:30 he's asleep by 8

My DD the same age has had stories by 7.30 but is allowed to play with Lego or look at books by dimmed light until she’s tired.

She knows she can come out for something important (so every few nights might ask for a drink or something) but on the whole does her own thing until tired.

7:15pm on all school nights. A bit later in the holidays or if we’ve been out seeing family, or if she’s fallen asleep on a long car journey or something. It’s rare for her not to be asleep within 15 minutes, but if she can’t get to sleep she’s allowed to read books in her room for a little while. She needs to go to bed at that time but I also need her to go to bed at that time!

8pm

7.30- I’m not anti a bit of telly before bed, tablets however are really addictive and create such a wired affect in children imo.

I totally sympathise... I said in my last post mine does usually go to sleep within half an hour or so but there's been several nights recently she hasn't and it's been constant coming downstairs to say she can't sleep or getting upset if we go away. How long has it been going on with your DD? With ours it just seems to be short term and intermittent because she's got lots of change she's thinking about with school so maybe a wee bit more full of busy thoughts some nights and a little insecure too. We've just been going with it and going up and down to settle her. But we always stayed with her until she fell asleep until not that long ago, maybe just about 6-8 months ago she outgrew it, so it's more of just a regression back to that, and we do know she regresses when change is going on.

Single parent with a 5.5 year old and no outside support. I am sorry to say I have banned the iPad and switch on weekdays. It just made bedtime too late. He watches TV, potters while I sort dinner, bags etc We aim to go upstairs by 7.30, earlier if I can. I do have to cuddle him to sleep but he is asleep by 8 at the latest. Then I lie here for a bit scrolling through mumsnet, thinking about the chores that need done

The 6 year old twins next door were out screeching in the garden with their younger sibling until 9pm last night. I had to shut DSs window as it's right next to it. If that's a school night I am dreading the summer 😳

DS is the same age and normally goes to bed between 8-9pm. It's 6.15pm before we even get in after school/work and by the time we've had food, bath, wind down time, done his reading then it's that time. Partly because we're knackered and it's an effort.

He does have a groclock and knows he has to stay in bed until the sun comes up(7am). That works most of the time although this morning I found him on the landing with toys at 6.40!

I do confess that some nights I sit on his floor if I want him to go to sleep, he settles quicker if I'm there than if I leave him. At least I can use that time to catch up on stuff on my phone.

I think you just have to figure out what works for you both and ignore the "mine is asleep by 7pm tribe" because it's not realistic for everyone.

How are you gaging her tiredness? Over tiered children are hyper like hamsters on a wheel they can't stop and appear full of energy. How do you calm her down?

Mine doesnt go to bed till 8.30-9 and up at 7.30-8 so he gets his 11hours of sleep a night. He's always gone to bed late, I hate it because we basically dont have an evening but thats his usual bedtime

@zebrapig I think you have missed the point of the OP's post.

"Which means that I am internally screaming by 8, and literally on my knees by 9..."

She needs DC to be in bed earlier and before 8pm for her own sanity. Which is reasonable.

Have you tried rapid return? No conversation and a reward system for 7 nights in bed no getting up?
Does she like drawing ....you could set her up near you while your cooking ...less stimulating than screens. Then clear up once you put her to bed

She does get wind down time whilst I make dinner and sort her bath etc, admittedly with the iPad, but nothing I can really do about that, I haven't got time to play after school/work as have to sort dinner and clear up

I'd have a think about this. Why do you have no choice but to give her the iPad because you're busy? Is she completely incapable of entertaining herself? That may well be your problem with getting her to sleep. If she can't entertain herself while you cook/tidy up then of course she can't self settle/entertain herself in her room for a bit.

I'd start working on her ability to self-entertain during the day and hope that this transfers to bedtime. Take the iPad away and let her rediscover toys/crafts/drawing/imaginative play etc.