Money with a newborn

[Al991]

Pregnant with my first here! I was wondering if any experienced mums could offer advice about how their finances changed when they had a newborn.

Maternity pay is not great at my work so we will see a drop in income when I’m off (we can still pay the bills etc).

The initial outlay of having the baby is obviously huge with buying cot, other equipment etc!

I am wondering though how you noticed your day to day finances changed. I can imagine there’s a lot of additional costs that come at you day to day, but also since we won’t be going on hols, seeing friends, going out anywhere I am wondering if there is any balancing out?

I am probably being very naïve! But just wanting to do my best to plan my budget.

You can get loads of baby stuff second hand or free ... there is such snobbery about 'having to buy everything new' ... you really don't. New parents are a marketing department's dream. I don't think I bought anything new for my DS .. he lived in hand me downs, charity shop finds etc.

The initial outlay can be as big or as little as you want / need really. Babies use things for such an incredibly short period of time that it really is the best second hand market there is because you can get everything you need virtually in near-new condition for very cheap if you just do a bit of savvy Marketplace/Vinted etc. digging.
For a ball park we spent about £2000 when DD was born (all new except clothes which we bought as bundles on eBay). Buying new you can easily spend a LOT more than that but also less to as we did splash out £1000 on the pram alone as we had a very specific pram in mind.

Day to day, babies are not expensive though. The biggest cost is through loss of earnings and then childcare if you need it. I'm NHS and have quite reasonable maternity pay. Basically over the course of a year it halved my income which was enough to cover my normal bills and have enough for a few baby activities (mostly groups and coffee shop visits) and buy the next size bundle of clothes as and when needed.

Being on maternity leave is such a strange experience though(for me at least) and not easy to compare to life before because it's such a different pace of life to being at work. Going back to work was when I felt the true financial hit of having a baby because I went back full time so my salary was the same as before (gone up slightly in that time actually) but I had souch less money because souch just went directly to childcare! £900 gone straight away. I'm fortunate that I can afford that but it did leave me with very little left so definitely no more little luxuries or getting a coffee on the way to work just because it's Tuesday.

But as you said, your life is so different anyway that actually your priorities change so what you enjoyed spending your money on before you just might not miss that much because you know you would rather spend it on taking the kids to a farm or something you'd never have done before.

Preparing for a baby can be relatively cheap if you get second hand and avoid overbuying. It's returning to work after that the issue. Look into childcare now and make a plan. All the best.

This really, you can get away with not spending much at all on mat leave, but childcare is a killer.

Having the baby and mat leave is peanuts compared to the long term costs. Start planning now for returning to work and childcare, it's crippling frankly so the more you plan ahead the better.

You can pick up really good second hand stuff most which will have only used for a few months. Just buy new mattress for the cot.
On my first mat leave I met with a friend locally who had just had a baby once a week and went to a local new mums group which was free.
I didn't really notice the drop in income to much as life changed and my only expenses were the odd coffee etc. I saved when I was pregnant but only really dipped into that at the very end when I took a few months in paid.
As other have said it's childcare that really is the big expense. I worked 2 or 3 shifts per week as a nurse when mine were little. I worked lates or nights and we muddled through with a bit of help from family and a childminder. I worked every Sunday afternoon and evening for years so I only had to cover one day in the week. So although shift work can be a pain it really helped our finances.

We spent a lot less because we stopped going out and stopped drinking!

I agree with @Callmemaybebaby 's points - it's childcare costs when you go back which is definitely noticeable.

Also with baby stuff, you really don't need much at all. Most stuff is just unnecessary, but in a sleep deprived state it's much easier to believe that the next magic piece of equipment will be the thing which changes everything! Also, the ease of online shopping at night, in an exhausted state.... As others have said, lots of stuff will only be useful for a month or so - an example is weaning. I felt like there was so much equipment I needed, but weaning is really only a few weeks - once a baby can move a bit of puree from the front of its mouth to the back and swallow it, that's it, they're weaned and you'll start to give them lumpier stuff/go into more baby led. All the mini pots and bowls, warming equipment, puree makers, special spoons are just not necessary!

Ditto clothes - one of mine went through 7 sizes in the first year. A slight change of weather and whole categories of clothes that you've got ready won't be needed and then will be too small. It does slow down, but don't get too much as it won't get worn.

I only get statutory too. We used about £3000 of savings to make it through maternity to cover bills etc. I did one “paid” activity with DS a week and went out for coffee with other mums also once a week. Clothes were a mix of sales, supermarket and charity shop. I agree with PP that childcare is crippling, but you’re unlikely to feel that as much since there will be free hours from 9 months from next September, you may have to cover a few months but you’ll be fine. This maternity leave we have no savings (bought a family car), but can use a lot of hand me down clothes from DC1. Looking for more groups this time, especially ones that cater for toddlers and babies, church ones are supposed to be good.

So far not found it too bad. All clothes I got bundles secondhand online, so no costs there, got other bits and bobs secondhand. There is a maternity grant for first time mums which paid for cots. I breastfeed so don't need to pay for formula. So just nappies and nappy wipes, but own brands from lidl or Tesco do the job cheap :) so atm I'm more expensive 😂

I was surprised by how quickly babys go through clothes sizes, DS was a chunky baby and I’m pretty sure he went up a clothes size every month for the first 6 months or so.

I bought most of these in bundles second hand partly because it’s much faster! But I think there was one size I went to buy new and was really shocked at how expensive it was to buy all of the new clothes a baby needed for them to size up.

Having a chunky baby also meant he grew out of the Moses basket at 6 weeks and out of his infant car seat around 10 months. Thankfully we were given the cot and and Moses basket but the next size car seat was an outlay that we didn’t think we’d need that soon.

Breastfeeding and reusable nappies are a great way to keep costs down, we were given all of our nappies so didn’t have to buy any of those either.

I probably spent more on tea and cake out and about as I did lots of walks and meet ups.

See if you want to do any bigger ticket baby activities like swimming, they can be quite expensive.

Reusable wipes are amazing btw, they wipe so much better than disposable ones. Even if you don’t fancy reusable nappies I’d really recommend the wipes. And there no faf about which brand of wipes irritate babies skin

The biggest question is how you and your partner share money. Is all money paid into one account and you both have equal access? Or will you be expected to fully pay your share of bills despite being on a reduced income as seems to be the case with many women who post on MN?

I was the higher earner, we lost £27k in a year despite my enhanced mat pay, we saved in advance to cover my usual share of the bills, bought everything we needed while we still had two incomes, skipped holidays that year , didn't really save anything, it was fine actually. I also got promoted whilst on mat leave so when I went back I was earning more than before so we caught up fairly quickly

In my opinion it's really important that you keep going out and seeing friends. I don't know why you wouldn't. Your mental health will suffer if you go from an active social life, working with others etc to only being around your baby 24/7.

Ask people to buy you certain items that you actually need, rather than buying you random stuff that they like.

Whilst on May leave you should pool all income. Make sure that it’s not you buying baby stuff from your income, that’s shared. It really doesn’t have to be expensive- all you need is a cot (can get 2nd hand), car seat if you drive, some clothes and nappies - initially, and either sling or pram, again 2nd again. Then see what else you need once baby arrives. Don’t get pulled into thinking you need all the gadgets.

My priority when TTC and pregnant was saving as much as could for mat leave, I was also just on statutory. I managed pretty well in that I didn't feel like my lifestyle changed (soo easy to just grab lunch out everyday when on leave haha) but I felt that last unpaid month really badly, and was basically at £0 in my account when I went back to work, all savings gone.

As PP have mentioned, the real kicker was going back to work and paying for childcare. Combined with the mortgage rate increases our monthly outgoings went up by £2000 overnight. It is wild. I'm now trying to save for a potential second pregnancy and our belts are a LOT tighter than they have ever had to be. And mine's only in nursery 4 days.

So save for mat leave, get stuff secondhand, but also think about long term planning and start understanding how your outgoings will change when you're back in work too.

Thanks all this is helpful. Don’t worry I am getting clothes etc second hand from friends and can continue to do so as baby grows. I’m also getting some reusable nappies which is great. I was more asking about the day to day which many of you have answered! I have put a bit of money aside specially for coffee with friends/spending money basically.

We usually don’t really pool our income but for Mat leave obviously it’ll be different with DP in work and me losing income.

Oh also I forgot to say I have already done a deep dive into childcare costs when I return!

Unless you have rock solid free childcare lined up, you won't have as much disposable income as you do now for years to come. Initial expenses, bar mat leave pay decrease, are frankly a drop in the ocean.

You need to either completely pool your money or have a shared account / some way of making sure you're both fairly contributing to joint expenses. All child related expenses should be considered joint - don't find yourself suddenly responsible for nappies/clothes/activities/nursery for "reasons".

Try to survive now on what you'll have when you're on mat leave to get a) used to the drop in income and b) give your savings a boost - both of you should be doing this and both contributing to the savings for mat leave. If that's too much of a stretch then estimate your childcare costs and try to get by on that.

Congratulations op. Just one piece of advice on initial outlay. If you have interested grandparents don't rush to buy the big items. You may find they each want to buy one big item like pram, cot, crib ext which can be a big help.

Definitely pool finances if you can.

Also I thought of another one - clothes for you. I didn’t fit into my pre pregnancy clothes for about a year after birth, but maternity clothes swamped me after a month or two. I also bought a few things that made nursing easier. Things like that should be a joint expense not just down to you.

I also had one of those baby wearing coats, actually I had too a long warm winter one and a waterproof soft shell, they were brilliant for baby wearing, expensive but I lived in them and still were them now with the baby panel zipped out

Thank you - this is all good advice. We have already been tracking spending and ensuring we are able to get by with paying childcare. Luckily our childcare costs are not as high as they could be but they aren’t nothing. All household costs are joint currently and baby costs would be no different - they would come from our joint account which is paid into by each of us.

@shiningstar2 good advice! There is only one grandparent in total sadly but I know we could call on her for something like this

I found first three months my expenditure was minimal. But I had a high needs newborn and I bF so spent a lot of time on the sofa! I also didn’t charge off doing baby classes immediately because my baby wanted snuggles.

My advice:

• Baby classes: my local childrens centre offers amazing free classes that look very similar to local paid classes
• I used to treat myself to one coffee/chai out a week but otherwise I orders a big box of chai from Amazon and used to make myself a chai at home and pop in a flask
• No petrol expenditure as I walked most places with baby (I am in London)
• meals out - not possible with my baby. We spent a little bit on cook ready meals for ease - but actually they’re not pricy.
• baby clothes - don’t go overboard. But if you do need to get baby bits look at cheaper places. The next sale is good. So is matalab and still super markets
• baby prescriptions - remember these should be free
• Pre baby I used to get my nails and lashes done. I stopped this when I had a newborn as I was on the sofa / physically couldn’t go as my newborn was so clingy.

Genuinely I didn’t spend much! Hope this helps!!