Money with a newborn

[Al991]

Pregnant with my first here! I was wondering if any experienced mums could offer advice about how their finances changed when they had a newborn.

Maternity pay is not great at my work so we will see a drop in income when I’m off (we can still pay the bills etc).

The initial outlay of having the baby is obviously huge with buying cot, other equipment etc!

I am wondering though how you noticed your day to day finances changed. I can imagine there’s a lot of additional costs that come at you day to day, but also since we won’t be going on hols, seeing friends, going out anywhere I am wondering if there is any balancing out?

I am probably being very naïve! But just wanting to do my best to plan my budget.

I found it wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but I definitely built in a little bit of "me" money to either get coffee, or my nails done or a new dress just so I didn't feel even more lost with a newborn. Also being realistic about what you actually need to buy helps and being clever with things like when you have some spare money one month buying the larger nappies or formula so you already have them ahead of time rather than wasting it like we used to!

One thing I regret actually was that I opted for my enhanced Mat pay up front as much as possible. This meant I had some months where I received 100% salary and some where I received just government stat. I wish I had spread the enhanced pay over my months more evenly as I think psychologically I’d have found that easier to manage

Tbh saw no impact. Sourced items almost entirely for free, didn't need to pay for childcare until back at work, breastfed baby. I did less so probably spent less! My maternity pay was 80 percent of normal salary, husband continued working full time besides two weeks off. Fewer holidays, less going out, less purchasing items for myself.

Costs kick in when you have to pay for childcare but by then I was back at work and I'm lucky that my salary more than covers childcare and my mum helps out a bit alongside a part time nanny. I did BLW so baby ate same as us and hardly anything at first.

There are definitely ways to make things inexpensive. Don't buy much before the baby is actually here beyond necessities. There's an awful lot of stuff you don't need.

Are you planning to go back to work full time? You should think about getting married if not. That would be a smart financial move.

Also in the uk there are so many free baby classes and playgrounds. I'm in central London so probably more here than other places, but no need to waste your time on overpriced baby sensory etc

Also at this point in your relationship - ie with a baby - I would suggest pooled finances. We have a joint account and can see exactly what each other spends on. Both of us are reasonable.

Two thirds of our individual income comes into our joint account to cover ALL costs (mortgage, bills, clothes, lunches out, baby, whatever) and one third goes into our personal savings accounts. My DH earns a significantly higher amount than me but this doesn't matter. We trust each other not to take the piss. He sees what I spend our joint money on and I don't care that he does because he doesn't care either.

Personal savings remain separate and his are obviously much higher than mine. We use this money to pay down the mortgage or for big items - maybe a car or big holiday.

We are married though so legally what's mine is his and vice versa. I guess if you're not married this approach may need more thought.

Agree with this. I love our free baby classes at my local childrens centre! There’s a class a day! I’m also in London but hopefully it’s the same everywhere.

I found it surprisingly easy. I was lucky enough to be given a lot of baby clothes. Didn't fritter money away on buying lunch at work or popping to the shops in my lunch hour. Spent a lot of time doing free/very cheap stuff.

The only thing I bought new was the pram and a Baby Brezza, I think.

Re. the pooled income, DP and I normally do the same as OP and pay into a joint account for all joint expenses including the child. But that works because we have similar incomes. For mat leave when our incomes were massively different, we both paid everything we received into the joint account, paid our bills and expenses, and then split whatever was left each month equally between us.

I’m afraid I’ve got to echo others and say that the childcare costs are the killer once mat leave ends. We had loads of money on Mat leave!! Fill the freezer now with lots of batch cooked dinners for the early days and that will stop you spending a fortune on takeaways. Libraries do rhyme times and children’s centres do free stuff. I’d save money on classes so you can have coffees etc. (have you done NCT or similar) and as another poster has said save a little bit for treats for you - I had a lovely post natal massage and my feet done a few times on Mat leave and it really made me feel spoiled. You give so much of yourself it is wonderful to have someone do something just for you.

Oh and income wise we have a joint account which goes in percentages of our salaries (DP earns a bit more than me) and then we both have the same amount of spending money. So all essential family stuff comes out of the joint and we have our own money which the other one doesn’t have any say over!!

I was happy to buy anything secondhand that could be washed thoroughly. So clothes, a cot but bought a new mattress, wooden toybox that could be cleaned throughly. I would not buy anything with any sort of sponge . So no secondhand baby chair bouncer or pram for instance. It had to be either in the washing machine or totally solid so wood and metal parts.

We could have afforded new but it’s hardly used for very long so just seems a ridiculous waste of money.

Best thing I did buy new was a small wicker basket, nappies, wipes, Muslin cloths went in and I could just grab and take up and downstairs. Still have the basket it now has candles, matches and stuff for the outside dining table in it.

Depends how particular you are all of our under 3s pretty much everything apart from first newborn outfits are second hand so not struggled with anything. They don't care they have nice beds,clothes,shoes and are growing so quickly tbh aren't in them for long anyhow

since we won’t be going on hols, seeing friends, going out anywhere

That’s a shame-why won’t you be seeing friends/going out!? We still had holidays, albeit very different ones.

Are you going back to work full time?

Speaking personally I wasn’t spending as much day to day as when I was working in the office. But I would frequently go out and need to stop for a coffee/bite to eat with the baby which can of course mount up. I don’t drive though but imagine driving to different baby clubs/soft play could be expensive depending on location.

I'd imagine you'll still be going on holiday tbh, perhaps a different kind of holiday, not an adrenaline active one or drinking one but no reason not to get on a plane even when they're small (we did turkey when our first was 5 months, a European camper trip at 7 months , Madeira 11 months. We're visiting family in France in a few weeks with 11 week baby & now 18 month)

Also will probably be desperate to get out and see friends tbh for adult conversation. If you make friends with other parents at groups it's nice to go out with them for a brew post playgroup or lunch etc and have adult conversation

I started doing 2 different baby groups a week when baby was a few months too and swimming some weeks. Each group tends to be around £7/8 a session

However, we didn't pay anything for cots, car seat, pram, Bath seat etc etc. All were hand me down, as were 80% of clothes. 10% I bought second hand and 10% new but mainly cheap on sale at tesco.

Nappies are dirt cheap - don't buy pampers!! Wipes again cheap asda or aldi. If breastfeeding milk is free. We did BLW and my girl ate sooo much from about 9 months, so grocery bill went up. Eating out, she had bits of my/our meals for a long time, but at 12 months we'd need to buy extra sides, she can eat more than her dad some meals.

Nursing vests - prob about 6 for £80. Baby carrier buy second hand off vinted. We had a stretchy, a structured buckle carrier, an in-between light small mesh one for warm weather, then a big rucksack carrier & finally a trike.

But I agree the bigger expenses happen with childcare. And when child is over 2 so the need a seat on planes

There is not a lot of day to day costs with a newborn. I am expecting my lo in a few months and I am looking forward to that, that's when I get to save a lot, less gas money, no childcare for my other DC as she will be home with me. When they start eating foods, that when you budget their cereal and some fruits, plus diapers/wipes.

Yeah I should probably have been clearer, sorry! At the moment I travel a lot to see friends within the UK and it does get quite expensive. So for example £50 each time to go down South to see them. When we have a newborn they are more likely to come to us. And we won’t be going out for expensive meals or anything very often, more like a cheaper coffee after baby group. Holidays we will see what’s left in the budget!

We’re married and I am definitely going back full time. My salary is higher when I am working.

I appreciate comments re joint account, pooled income etc - my DP will definitely be shouldering the drop in income for mat leave, but with me earning more usually this seems fair usually as I pay slightly more toward bills. Then we will do similar to what PP have said which is pay all the living/child expenses into joint account and keep personal account for ourselves.

This is also very specific to my situation but my partner has OCD and has said no to secondhand pram and cot due to safety concerns 😬 but I am getting a huge number of secondhand clothes, slings, toys and all manner of other stuff from friends so hopefully it’ll even out a bit (plus we are lucky enough to have a very kind grandparent who may help with the big purchases!). And I’ll keep paying into my ‘treats for me’ account 😊 we are lucky enough to have tons of free baby groups etc round here so I would balk at paying £7 or whatever for a group!

but also since we won’t be going on hols, seeing friends, going out anywhere

These things don't have to stop when you have a baby. Don't isolate yourself.

If you're going to get child benefit, the best thing that we did was use that money for the monthly baby stuff. So a months worth of nappies, wipes, at least some formula if you use it etc etc really helped.