Excluded from school tour.

[SAHM39]

My daughter, 12 was told she could not attend her school tour due to her arm being in a cast. It was at a swimming pool. I offered to follow the bus and mind her while the rest were in the water - no, we can't have a parent there and she'd be bored. I offered to follow the bus and take her once they got there. No that was allowed. They said to keep her home and they would mark her present. She was very upset and they did mark her absent. My OH who is quiet calm usually has blown the lid. Last straw was marking her absent after they telling me to keep her home. He wants to go into the school. I don't think we have ever gone into the school and we have 2 grown kids too. Hopefully he'll calm. Were the school wrong in their position?

There was more elements but this was the most controversial point

Because she wanted to 🤷🏼‍♀️ she never asks for anything. She's a great girl and just wanted to be involved 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thank you for trying to understand x

Because I wasnt sitting on my phone all night! I'm trying to clarify but this is a total ambush! Give a girl a chance seriously

Tbf she is that kind of child that would prefer to see her friends having fun than miss out totally

Thanks everyone for your replies
We have never had any negative interactions with the school. I did think it was odd I couldn't bring her for the bus bit/ lunch etc. That's all I was wondering about really. My OH or I won't do anything about the being absent bit. My child would have been shouting encouragement from the side line not feeling sorry for herself. She would love to be part of the chats on Monday. My god, I came in here expecting to be corrected etc but some of ye would want to read what ye wrote, wow just wow. Thanks to the nice people on here though x

@SAHM39 I understand why she wanted to go. Her broken arm would only have prevented her from swimming.

She could have relaxed by the pool, socialised, and depending on how old she is, she could have sat on the edge of the pool and dangled her legs in the water.

But, if she and her classmates are young the teachers might be concerned about her accidentally falling into the pool or being pushed in. And supervising a group of young children swimming is already challenging enough. They may not have felt comfortable with the extra level of supervision.

Oops I forgot that she was 12. So, not that young. I think that they should have let her go.

Maybe it was some kind of weird health and safety thing

Thank you x it's not like we will do anything it s not going to change anything ❤️

It was swimming pool, picnic, playground etc

where on earth is your sense Op

your daughter would have watched her friends have a blast in the pool, watched her friends have a blast in the playground, struggled with a picnic. And then come home.

why on earth didn’t you think of an alternative ie get her closest friends around for a sleepover (although you’d probably arrange bowling and have her watch from the sidelines!)

is “common sense” now regarded as a some weird health and safety thing”?

she could have sat on the edge of the pool and dangled her legs in the water.

Yes, I’m sure the managers of a public swimming pool would be more than happy with fully clothed people sitting round the edge dangling their legs in the water. Especially school children in plaster.

We are once her cast is off. We are doing the whole tour with a the girls in her class actually. Again she's not the kind of child that would feel that way. She would be delighted to see her friends having a blast. She's hasn't a begrudging bone in her body and is a very positive child. She just wanted to be there for the chats. It's her arm that is broken. She can still chat and interact. She would have preferred to be part of the day rather than miss out totally.

That's a pretty mean comment. And to be fair she can bowl. We went last weekend actually 😂

Why do you keep using the word “tour”

it doesn’t make sense. Along with the crux of your OP really

Where in the country/world are you, @SAHM39 ?

In England-if pupils don’t attend trips for whatever reason, they still go to school that day and would join another class. Telling you to keep her at home and they’ll mark her in, but then marking her absent (how do you know this?) is bizarre. That’s what I’d be asking them about.

Why aren’t I surprised? 😂

It’s an Irish expression, as explained multiple times on the thread.
HTH

Ah apologies

Wow! As others have said depending on your country of origin you call it tour/ trip. UK use the word trip in ireland they use tour 🤷🏼‍♀️ a cultural difference I suppose. Maybe kindness is missing from some cultures too.

Thank you x

I can understand where you’re coming from OP. My eldest DD is in a wheelchair & school did a walk over quite rough terrain as a fundraiser. There was no way DD could have taken part as it would have been near impossible to push her and she’d have been uncomfortable but I was able to drive her to the point at which everyone stopped for a picnic. She joined in the picnic and they played a few games, then I drove her home. Everyone was happy. I think you’re not being unreasonable but don’t go into school all guns blazing. Write them a calm letter detailing your disappointment and laying out what school could have done to make your daughter feel included.

I’ve seen it plenty of times at public swimming pools. But then maybe it’s a bit more laid back where I am from.

And I was referring to the section of the pool reserved for recreation, not the lanes for swimming laps.