FTM - Best friends wedding in South Africa - 10 week old - help!

[Londonrungirl]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for some advice and reassurance that I’m not mad. Currently pregnant and my best friend is planning on getting married in South Africa next year. All being well the baby will be 10 weeks old assuming it’s born at 40 weeks.

Am I completely mad for considering going? I wouldn’t for the average friend but it’s a great friend who’s always been there for me. I know every baby is different and there are a load of scenarios that are impossible to predict: c section, reflux, really fussy baby.

I’m currently thinking that I’ll book flexible tickets and say that I will do my absolute best to be there (Husband would be there too so wouldn’t be alone) but as I’m bridesmaid I’m worried I’m going to get intertwined with the plans and it may be hard to back out nearer the time if I say yes initially.

Would just love some input really - we’d probably try and go for 10 days or so so it’s a bit more worth it and give ourselves time to acclimatise.

Really appreciate thoughts

@Lindtnotlint this issue is how does she know what kind of birth she will have, whether breastfeeding will be established, what state her body will be in, how healthy her baby will be. Those of of us who were still struggling physically, with baby at 6/8 weeks didn't not order the premium package. If you could leave it to book until baby is here that is different but I don't imagine given it's a wedding and such a long distance she can do that. Therefore she has to be considering all the different circumstances she may be in at that point in her journey.

That’s why I said she would need to be prepared to cancel if any complications - it only makes sense if things are going well (which is a total matter of luck!). So book refundable tickets and don’t be a bridesmaid. But it is entirely possible (and equally not guaranteed!) that it will be a great time to travel with a portable baby and two parents to care.

Personally, I absolutely would not commit to this. I have two DC and although both were pretty easy babies it would have been too much. Those first few weeks are so precious (and emotional and stressful!) I would put myself and baby first before trying to please someone else. Saying that, everyone is different and I appreciate others would see it differently.