So whats it like going from 2 to the magic number 3?

[MiMao]

Just wondered because we have planned to do just this later on this year.

Is it much different from 1 to 2?... I found the first year quite tricky

My friend said she did not notice much of a change from 2-3, the 3rd just seemed to fit in.

What about bath time? I bet that is noisy!

I am dreaming about Christmas mornings and three children running to see their gifts and all chasing each other in parks and all of us sitting around a table trying to get their word in

But whats the reality???

It's definitely challenging and the family dynamics become much more complicated, but you do feel quite proud of yourself when you're out and about and they're all getting on...You also REALLY appreciate the moments when you're alone and no one's asking you for anything...

It's good, but it's hard and if you want your own life then it's not a good idea. If you really enjoy being a mum then go for it!

my 3 are 6, just turned four and 17 months... like you i love the idea of the mayhem and the noise and the chaos of it all... but that is also the bit that drives me nuts too!!!

because of the age gap between mine it's lovely... dd(6) in year 2 ... ds (4) is in th school nursery and dd2 (17m) is at a private nursery... so the older two are in full time education ... i work two days, ds2 goes to nursery for these two days ad on weds, thurs and fri... i just pootle around with the baby... playgroups, swimming, school run and endless loads of laundry and house looking like a bombs hit it...

when they all get on it's lovely they play with each other and it's as it should be...

this afternoon after school dd1 and ds1 were playing Spikey the Hedghog (ds was spikey and dd fed him his food, plastic insects and bugs on a plate) dd2 just cruised around the place and was occasionally the baby hedgehog... i cooked tea and tidied up!

or it could be like the other day when the virgin media man was asking e lots of complicated questions about the telephone (no phone for a month Grrrr! Virgin Blody Broadband!!!!! another story!!!!) whilst dd2 was determined to crawl out the front door and did her special banshee shrieking as i ahd to haul her back and dd1 and ds were having a fight about some game or another!!!!

but on the whole it lovely... bathtime? at the moment they still all fit in the bath together so no probs there... yet! and dh is very hands on and whilst the baby is still baby... he's in charge of the other two ... but really i have four children as dh is bad as them!!!!

good luck! it'll be great fun!

the more the merrier... that's what i say!

By the time you get to number 3 you have some idea of what you are doing, which helps.

When my older 3 have friends for tea its madness, but I love it. I want to have a house full of children and their friends for years to come!

The school run on my own with a baby is a real PITA but luckily DP can do it most days.

Hi everyone

Has anyone had a really big gap beteen cd2 and cd3, mine are 11 and 14, and just waitin in anticipation to see wether im pregnant for the 3rd time? I realise that they are both at school and much more independant, but worry about how close theyd be if i were to have another one, as there lives are so busy!

Love the mostly positive comments on this thread
We have dd12 who is 5.10 and dd2 who is 2.3. I was pregnant last year and should have been due next week, but m/c in Aug at 12wks. We have been trying again for no3 for the last couple of months, hopefully it won't take too long. I also had that feeling that 2 was finished yet, even when pregnant with dd2 I talked about having another. Dh and I are both youngest of 3, maybe that's why
My sisters were 6 and 9 yrs older than me, and although we got on, I was always a generation behind them and it took a long time to catch up and have much in common with either of them. Probably my main reluctance to have much more than a 6yr gap between dd1 and no3.

Hi all, haven't read all comments, haven't got time
We have 4dc. ds1 aged 14, dd1 aged 8, dd2 aged 4 and ds2 aged 2. It helps having an age gap but that does cause its own problems at times. Days hectic, bathtime sometimes chaotic, but i love having 4! They all have a bedtime which at times is my saving grace! You definitely need your own space at times when you've got 4. dh had snip when i was pg with the last one and sometimes now i wish we hadnt made that decision.
i found going from 1-2 extremely hard but then dd was very difficult baby, toddler and older girl!! Going from 2-3 was easy, 3-4 also easy. I think it has more to do with childrens personalities than anything else.

This is all great stuff - am currently ttc No 3 though it's taking a few months, which is a bit of a surprise after ds and dd came along in the first month of trying... My dp is of the view that no3 is my project as he's not to bothered about no3 owing to the prospect of an even noisier house... Ds and dd are 4 and 2 just recently, and are best of friends. I have been in a panic that if I don't get pg soon then no 3 will be really left out, so a lot f the stuf here is really reassuring on that count.

Mine are 5, just 3 (last week) and 10 weeks.

Its hard to compare because dh is working at home a lot, whereas when dd and ds1 were little he was out from 7am-7pm. Although this time the birth was awful (still recovering). But on the whole its easier than 1-2 was.

The worse thing is getting out of the house. It takes forever!

Letting your standards slip also helps. They do not need daily baths and fishfingers, chips, & peas is a quite nutritious meal, really. And if changing nappies every 6 hours is good enough for NICU ...

Fruit, love the comment about letting standards slip! I seem to have done that going from 1 to 2, so well practiced for it to happen a little more, going from 2 to 3
Jaype know what you mean, dd1 was the first mth and dd2 took 4mths. Our m/c pregnancy last year also took around 4mths, so I'm hoping it doesn't take too long to fall pregnant again. Especially as everyone person I know right is due sometime this year

i found pg number 3 quite hard physically....but had the fabbest home birth...this time around i was confident in my decision to do this, and i'm really glad i did. my kids are 7, 4 and 18 months.....(ds was 5 and dd was 2 when ds 3 was born)

i just adored the first year with my third.....i was soooo much more relaxed, confident and happy with my little gang. bf was easy (have boob, will travel!) and the baby just came along wherever we were going...simple as. now, i am finding it a lot more busy....i work evenings, dh works days...we are like ships passing and we realllly need some time together but there just isn't any spare!

when the going is good....it is really good. often i'm overwhelmed as to how very lucky i am, but then when it all goes pear shaped, it really does!!!! tbh tho, you have bad days with one child...its just a bit harder and louder on a bad day with 3!

school runs are the bain of my life...i have 1 in ft school, one in nursery just mornings, one at home...i'm always on the go, but that will pass soon.

with regards to travel....i got into baby wearing.....it was invaluable to me....still is...i rarely use a buggy now. it meant that with a single buggy, a buggy board and a sling/carrier/wrap that i could juggle bodies to mine and the kids need keeping everyone happy and gave me an easier life.

number 3 has allowed my to REALLY follow my instincts as a mum...its also allowed me to parent in a way that i kind of wanted to with the other two but wasn't quite confident enough to "ditch the book" as it were.

i'm dying for another baby...finances just won't allow sadly...we're already living in too small a space and the messy house is a sight to behold!!

overall though....i love being a mum to 3!

Glad to hear so many positive (but realistic) comments.

For me, going from 0 to 1 was a shock - lack of control, completely unprepared, took at least a year to get the hang of it, But now dd1 is 7.5 and wonderful, generally speaking.

Going from 1 to 2 was soooooo much easier, dd2 (now 4.5) just slotted straight into family life. Dd2 is quite a feisty little thing, but the two are great friends and really good company, although they aren't always angels, they definitely have their moments.

Number 3 is due in 10 days time, and we are all really excited. Not sure if this is sensible but I'm feeling quite calm about looking after a newborn again. After being obsessed with advice books and worrying what other people thought of my parenting skills (or lack of), I just feel much more prepared to do what I feel is right.

This pg is so much tougher though. No real health issues or concerns fortunately, but so much more draining, I think its because life is so much more demanding, although older children are more independent you end up getting involved in lots more - playgroup committees, school meetings, etc, etc than I did with smaller children, and so there are loads more demands on my time.

I have two concerns about number 3 arriving. Because we have two girls and we don't know what we are having this time, I can't bear the thought of someone asking if its another girl if we are disappointed. We love our two so much and treat them as individuals rather than as 'the girls' that whether this is a girl or a boy, it will be treated as an individual. And, I know it sounds like a cliche, but you do just want a healthy baby, I had a miscarriage last year, and believe me this has never been said more strongly.

The other one is that I don't want the older two to become little mums - they're only kids themselves, its fair enough that they fetch a clean nappy from time to time, but I hope I don't end up relying on them to provide entertainment (unless of course they really, really want to).

I've always wanted three kids - I hope my rosy image of life with 3 turns out to be just that

whwd, my three are currently upstairs screaming laughing at eachother!
my older two make my toddler laugh...he makes them laugh.....they really egg eachother on!!!

i think that to include them in baby care is great...fetching wet wipes and nappies etc, but i totally agree with not HAVING to do it....there are times when i ask that the bigger kids will yell for me if toddler stands up in his high chair or whatever, but never to give them proper responsability.....if you're consious of it, (as you are) you'll not do it! (that sounds all wrong....I know what i mean! lol)

oh, and if people are that bloody rude to ask if you're disappointed with a dd, tell them yes, you're distraught....you're putting her up for adoption!

walk off leaving them to pick up their chins!
good luck!

Thanks for that.

I don't really have much experience of this as ds3 is only 2 weeks old. So far so good though! Ds1 is 5yrs 2mo and ds2 is 3yrs 3mo and for me the best thing this time round has been how chuffed they are with their new baby brother. They are so proud of him and really gentle with him - they can't wait until he can play with them.

Whathavewedone - I got really fed up with people asking if we were hoping for a girl when I was pregnant. A healthy baby was more important! Since we've had him some people has asked if we'll try again for a girl as if ds3 was a disappointment. On the whole though everyone has been thrilled for us. Ds3 is gorgeous (even if I do say so myself).

Really similar experiences to most on this thread. dd1 is just 4, dd2 is 2.5, ds is 15wks! I'm really enjoying no3- he is such a good and easy baby, who has slotted in so well. I am so much more relaxed this time round, and, as he is to be our last, I am treasuring every minute. His 2 older sisters love him to bits, although we had some issues with dd2 starting wetting again when it became clear he was here to stay. I hated being pregnant with 2 toddlers underfoot- soo tired, and I was worried about sleepless nights and how I would adjust to a newborn again, but it has been a breeze- still waiting for the other shoe to drop! Good luck!

My first was a doddle, I really enjoyed just having the one, was not that pleased when DC2 turned up uninvited. Took 2 yrs to feel in control again but I'm pretty confident about my 3rd due this summer (also a surprise). After surviving 2 under 2, I feel like superwoman so a 3.5yr age gap might even be quite enjoyable.

to pinky: ive got a thirteen yr old ds & three mth dd, its great but am considering another so dd has a playmate, be careful you might end up with 4. its a bit surreal having a teenager shouting cos she's grounded and baby screaming cos humgry

2 to 3 for us:

A breeze for the first year - with the exception of some seriously nasty sibling jealousy from DS2 (aged 4 at time of birth of DD and NOT AT ALL happy about not being the baby any more). She was a dead easy baby, slept, ate, smiled. Numerous times I nearly left the house without vital supplies (i.e. nappies etc.) for day trips or weekends away because she was so easygoing I kept forgetting we had her....

Much tougher now - DD is nearly 2 and much more demanding/assertive/messy! (Oh, and I'm back at work full-time )

I remember when about 7 months pregnant with no.3 overhearing a couple of mums discussing 2 to 3 at a children's party. One commented to the other, "I don't think I could handle three, because then, well, you're outnumbered, aren't you?"

Which is definitely true to a certain extent - we really notice it when one child is taken out of the mix for whatever reason.

Bottom line though, the babyhood of the third was MILES more enjoyable than the other two - actually felt like there was room to appreciate it rather than just surviving.

MUMKIN

LOL, i suppose it would be, i'm not so worried about my dd as my ds, he's quite the jealous type and likes to be the centre of attention! Not sure how he'd take to a new baby in the house! x

I've only got one at the moment and would love to have lots, but I have been told that with the first you change their nappy whenever they wee in it, with the second, when you can smell it and with the third, when the neighbours can smell it!

I have 2 older girls aged 9 and 6 in March and dd3 was born in October. So far it's been wonderful, especially seeing the older two with their baby sis. We are all squashed together in our 2 bedroom bungalow and minimalism is never going to be a feature of our lives but I love it!!

Incidentally I am the eldest of 3 as well and I was just three and a half when my brother was born so my mum had the three of us much closer together. I have nothing but happy memories of my childhood and 3 kids just seems right to me somehow.

Going from 2 to 3 is the same as going from 1 to 2 - complete madness at first, then you can't imagine life being any different

my ds1 was 7.5 when ds2 was born so that was a really easy transition but dd's arrival has been hard so far mainly because ds2 is 3 and very difficult! he keeps picking dd up and i'm terrified he's going to drop her. also the schoolrun takes twice as long because he walks!
that said, i'm loving having 3. they are all so different and when they're all being nice they make me smile.