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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you leave your baby/child sleeping in bed..........

109 replies

Flumberrysauce · 10/12/2004 16:06

........... to go and pick someone up?

I ask this because my SIL used to do this about once a week to go and pick my brother up from a bar. They live in Japan. She's Japanese and said it took about 30 mins in total, she wasn't particularly happy about it but wasn't any other way for him to get home and taxis crippling over there. She didn't seem to think it was that big a deal though.

But I spose if they never wake up..... I dunno, I can't decide if its ok or not.

I've nearly popped out to shop before when baby asleep then remembered at the door that we have a baby and she's asleep in other room!

OP posts:

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Hulababy · 10/12/2004 21:27

Oh I know, and I have done that in past. But only whilst I could still see car before inside and out of house, and I looked car whilst I was miing the stuff. Not done it sonce moving though as we are on 5th floor - not practical!

But I still wouldn't go somewhere I couldn't see DD for most of time, or anywhere longer than 5 minutes. DD can go from being sound asleep to wide awake in seconds.

I guess that, whilst I know anything could happen when I was there, I just don't want to take the risk of something happening when I am not there. I could never live with myself afterwards and would have a life of What Ifs.

Hulababy · 10/12/2004 21:29

My original mesaage was more to do with leaving the house with a baby/child asleep, not a quick to/fro from a car. I was replying to original message really. Hadn't read all follow ups once before posting.

lockets · 10/12/2004 21:30

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lockets · 10/12/2004 21:30

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zsooz · 10/12/2004 21:41

I know a russian girl with a 11 month DD. She leaves her flat in the morning to go jogging for a whole hour and has done since she was 3 weeks old. She doesn't think there is anything wrong with it !????? I couldn't run to the end of my road.

miranda2 · 10/12/2004 21:43

I would go to party next door with the baby monitor on - I'd be no further away than in the house or at a hotel,and if there was a fire I'd hear the smoke alarms (which we have in every room).
But I wouldn't pop out to the shops for 5 minutes, much less drive off for 30 mins! Although would do so leaving a neighbour with a monitor and key - that sounds sensible (pretty much the same as a babysitter frankly).
I have once popped to church for something - 100yards away. was away about 5 mins, and had the monitor on (in range throughout). Felt very nervous about it though and wouldn't make a habit of it.

GoodKingWestCountryLass · 10/12/2004 21:50

Why doesn't she take the child with her? Surely she can transfer him/her from bed to carseat and back again with minimal stirring whilst she goes to collect her SO.

I could never leave mine at home on there on. I do not leave them if they wake up so if they did wake up and I did not come straight away they would freak out.

NoMoomAtTheInn · 10/12/2004 22:26

No way. Makes me feel a bit sick to even think about it. Loading or unloading the car when it's parked on your own driveway is one thing, but actually leaving the house and going somewhere else entirely is another. But then again I don't even leave ds in the car when I pay for petrol so maybe I'm just super-paranoid.

popsycal · 10/12/2004 22:27

I am exactly the same as nomoomintheinn

Hulababy · 10/12/2004 22:28

NoMoomAtTheInn - I have never left DD in car when I get petrol either. I thought about doing it once, as DD was in PJs one evening, but couldn't do it when time came. Had to take her in. Now I always try and go to the credit card petrol pumps as Asda.

colditzcolditzcold · 10/12/2004 22:31

NO! no, I can't. it's as if my bellybutton is attached to ds by a bungee rope - I can go so far (the garden) but no further. I think I would be physically sick if I couldn't get to him when I wanted to.

NoMoomAtTheInn · 10/12/2004 22:32

I don't know what it is about petrol stations - I just worry! I think there's been a thread about this before actually! But I think I am extreme - the other day we were coming back from a shopping trip and ds had just fallen asleep as I pulled into the drive. So rather than wake him up, I stayed in the car and fell asleep for an hour and a half - him in his carseat, me reclining in the driver's seat! My neck ached like hell when I woke up, but I needed the nap...

PickasillyChristmasName · 10/12/2004 22:32

I leave DS in the car when I get a ticket from the machine. But I still do it very quickly and keep looking at the cat.

And in petrol stations, I either fill up without DS in the car, have DH in the car as well or use Pay at Pump. Prefer the third option as I can't stand waiting in petrol stations queues!

popsycal · 10/12/2004 22:33

what use is looking at the cat pickasilly

sorry i couldnt resist :)

NoMoomAtTheInn · 10/12/2004 22:34

Maybe the cat is keeping an eye on pickasilly's ds...

popsycal · 10/12/2004 22:35

That is what i need then - for petrol stations

sorry pickasilly
past my bedtime!

PickasillyChristmasName · 10/12/2004 22:36

My own typo made me .

DS loves the cat; obviously she comes everywhere with us .

Past my bedtime really...

pixiefish · 10/12/2004 22:36

nomoom-

lockets · 10/12/2004 22:37

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepdeprived · 10/12/2004 22:42

No way, never ever.

Carla · 10/12/2004 22:56

Flum no, never. dd2 is 6 now and ballet is next door, so dd1 is sometimes OK if I ask if it's OK to take her there (honestly a matter of seconds). But I'd never do it if she was asleep. What if she were to wake all afluster? And you weren't there???

TwasTheNightBeforeXmasOwl · 11/12/2004 01:39

i did it once. ds, age6 was asleep and i sprinted across the street, grabbed a paper from my mum and sprinted back. i could see my house all the time and i was less than 30 seconds. if he had woken and seen i wasnt in the lounge the first thing he would do would be to look through the letterbox and see if i was outside having a cigarette so he would have seen me sprinting anyway! if something had happened in those 30 seconds it would have taken me as long to get upstairs as it would to get back across the street. i think i would leave ds for 10 mins if i was say going next door for something, (same as being in my garden mowing it as far as i can see) so long as i could see the house but not if my baby was there. 30 mins...no. no way. heard of a girl who left her baby in his cot for 8 hours while she went partying with friends. her bf found him with a bottle of juice and a biscuit. now that is certainly not on.

smokey · 11/12/2004 01:48

Thie is an account of a perfectly innocent mistake but it has still scared me. My ds is 11 and I had started, very occasionally, leaving him in the house for 10- 20 mins as he wanted to be more independent and I thought him old enough.

A few months ago, I went to pick up my ironing - a 20 minute round trip and he came with me. When we got back, I found the father of one of my dd's schoolmates standing outside the house - he had come to pick up his dd whom he thought was on a playdate with my dd. However he had come to the wrong place and my dd was at Brownies. He should have been at another schoolmate's house several miles away. He had been standing outside for 20 minutes.

After he'd gone, I realised how frightening that would have been for my ds if he had been alone. There would have been a strange man outside and my ds would not (I hope) have answered the door. However, the strange man would not have gone away as he thought we had his dd. My ds would have phoned me, I would have called the police and it would have been very scary and upsetting for everyone involved.

Although this was all above board and my ds was not in the house alone at the time, it has really shaken my confidence and I have not left him since. I'm not sure this is the right response though.

jennifersofia · 11/12/2004 12:17

Okay, so how old is old enough to leave your child alone for 20/30 minutes? Obviously depends on maturity of the child, but what are your opinions?

tallulah · 11/12/2004 12:18

When my kids were little we dragged them everywhere with us, so as not to leave them alone. A friend of a friend used to leave her 6 mo ds asleep in his cot while he went to collect his wife from work- 40 min round trip.

Having said that, I have very clear memories of waking up in the back of my parents' van (little car-sized one with no windows & roundy-roundy thing on roof- no idea what they are called!) in the car park of the civil service club and watching them dancing in a hall. Found out years later this was their weekly ballroom-dance class & they didn't have a sitter so left us each week in the van & popped out to check on us every so often! Could you imagine someone doing that now! (No idea how old I was except older than 4 & younger than 9- bro 2 years younger!)

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