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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you leave your baby/child sleeping in bed..........

109 replies

Flumberrysauce · 10/12/2004 16:06

........... to go and pick someone up?

I ask this because my SIL used to do this about once a week to go and pick my brother up from a bar. They live in Japan. She's Japanese and said it took about 30 mins in total, she wasn't particularly happy about it but wasn't any other way for him to get home and taxis crippling over there. She didn't seem to think it was that big a deal though.

But I spose if they never wake up..... I dunno, I can't decide if its ok or not.

I've nearly popped out to shop before when baby asleep then remembered at the door that we have a baby and she's asleep in other room!

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bakedpotatohoho · 10/12/2004 18:50

i used to go to the corner shop for a 3-min round trip by foot , not crossing any roads when she was a napping baby. so shoot me!

winterwarmmummer · 10/12/2004 18:52

I did consider popping next door to have coffee with my neighbour and would have taken the baby alarm with me, until I realised that the baby alarm wouldn't tell me if there was a fire (my abiding fear).

slim22 · 10/12/2004 18:56

No. would never do it.
Have occasionally poped out to the end of the corridor to ditch the garbage when DS was under 6 months and fast asleep.But never more than a minute and always with baby phone in hand.
Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.

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blossomgoodwill · 10/12/2004 19:03

Never in a million years. Anything could and I would rather pay the crippling cab fees then put my child in any kind of danger.

SantaFio2 · 10/12/2004 19:06

i just couldnt :(

misdee · 10/12/2004 19:11

me and my neighbour upstairs used to meet on teh stairs for a cuppa and leave the doors to out flat open.

WigWamBam · 10/12/2004 20:22

Flummery - how old were the children? I wouldn't dream of doing it with young kids, and I don't think you can be too overprotective in that case as little ones aren't capable of looking after themselves if a problem arises, but if the children were older, then perhaps it wasn't as bad as everyone is thinking.

jabberwocky · 10/12/2004 20:32

No, never. I could think of all kinds of reasons why this is a terrible idea (see thread on fears of parents).

pixiefish · 10/12/2004 20:36

NomDePlumPudding · 10/12/2004 20:37

I wouldn't do it, but I have been known to leave the DS's in charge of a sleeping DD if I've had to pop out briefly, no longer than 10 minutes. DSs are 11 & 12, DD is 2y 4m.

For instance, last night I went to a&e at 9.15pm, DH had to drop me off at the hospital as I'd injured my foot and so couldn't drive myself there. The hospital is literally a 6 minute round trip and he came straight home, both boys were awake at this point and knew we were popping out.

tillykins · 10/12/2004 20:37

I would never do this. Apart from the worst case scenarios - fire, car crash and so on - what if the baby wakes up crying for you and you're not there? Awful idea

NomDePlumPudding · 10/12/2004 20:38

I also put the bins out etc whilst DD is in her high chair eating tea in front of cbeebies

Cinderellascarrieg · 10/12/2004 20:45

I was tempted just the other day - shop is less than 5 minutes away, ds was snoozing peacefully & we were out of something or other fairly vital for dinner. Alternatives were:

nip out leaving ds kipping - I'd be less time than it takes me to peg out washing or have a shower, after all
wake ds & go through the whole pushchair rigmarole with foully grumpy sprog
ring dh & demand he picks up whatever it was on way home - resulting in late dinner & foully grumpy dh.

I actually thought that the SENSIBLE option would be to leave him asleep - so shoot me! OK, I could get knocked down knocking the road/house could catch fire, but then again a crazed gunman could knock at the door & wipe us both out & had I been out door wouldn't've been answered...OK getting ridiculous here, but you know...

However. I discovered that I just could not walk out that door & leave him. Some weird primal thing kicked in whereby NO WAY was I going out of that door without that baby...

Actually, I do think it depends on the kids' ages - but I reckon a 10 year old is far more capable of bringing some ghastly disaster down on himself than a 4 month old baby!

GingerBells · 10/12/2004 20:46

I would never dream of doing this under normal circumstances. I once left DD in her cot and had to dash next door - was guilt ridden for ages.
She is now 2.5 yrs, but our neighbour has invited us to a party, and we have no babysitter. Have thought about DH and I doing shifts, but what if I rigged up the baby monitor - no thats silly, I can't- she is in a bed now and could easily wake up, wander into our room looking for us, then be terrified if we were not there.

Have talked myself out of it. Wonder if she would sleep on a matress at party next door??

lapsedrunner · 10/12/2004 20:50

I must be a bad Mother but do have a 99.9% confirmed 7pm-7am sleeper. We live in appartment block so I put out rubbish, take dog in garden, collect stuff from car etc. We also go to dinner with our immediate neighbours using baby monitor. To put it in perspective I can't be the only person to have stayed in hotel with DS and gone down for civilised dinner using hotel baby monitor.

sophabaubles · 10/12/2004 20:57

i often unload the shopping from the car while ds (13 months) is asleep at lunchtime. i sort of get into a cold sweat tho and am not out of the house for longer the five mins (and actually am in front of the building loading the shopping into the lift).

i think you can get very paranoid about things. but i do agree that there is something that feels wrong in a primal way about leaving a baby alone in a flat/house.

mullgedwine · 10/12/2004 21:01

No, being away for 30 minutes is too much. I was guilt ridden on holiday about being downstairs in the restaurant with a baby monitor. made dh go up every 10 minutes to check for electrical fires. Getting in a car and leaving your baby in the house alone is not acceptable.... however tempting it may be sometimes

lapsedrunner · 10/12/2004 21:02

Likewise I leave DS asleep in car (in our apartment private underground carpark of 9 spaces) whilst I unload shopping. He is now impossible to transfer to apartment asleep so now spend part of many days sitting in car reading until he wakes!

Hulababy · 10/12/2004 21:11

No I wouldn't at all, not even for a minute. You just don't know what could happen to any of you.

albosmum · 10/12/2004 21:18

I leave my ds1 (9 yrs) on his own when I go out in the garden etc- he is responible. ( however there are some 9 year olds I know eho I would not leave in a room on their own for 5 mins)
but will not leave my ds2 (7 months)alone. Whilst it is not illegal I would consider it neglect - if something happened to him I would never forgive myself.

sophabaubles · 10/12/2004 21:20

but hula isn't the point that we don't know ever what could happen to us. and living a life in total fear transmits itself to our children. i'm not arguing for leaving them alone in a house for an hour but a couple of minutes whilst you unload the car???

i really think that we have become massively paranoid and that that is a very destructive thing...

winterwarmmummer · 10/12/2004 21:23

I have a girlfriend who used to leave her ds asleep in the car outside her door (with her front door open) because he was such a bad sleeper. I just could not get my head around this.

heavenlyghost · 10/12/2004 21:26

Our next door neighbours had a party a couple of weekends ago and we went along. DD got grumpy around 6pm and I made my excuses to go and bath her and put her to bed. The people we were chatting to suggested that I come back after she was asleep ... and although the party was in their garden and I would have been no further from her room than in my own garden I just couldn't do it.
So no, I wouldn't leave a sleeping baby for that long at all!!

happymerryberries · 10/12/2004 21:26

I have left both dd and ds sleep in the car, parked on the drive, but watched them from the house while I had a cuppa. I have also gone into the garden to peg out washing while they were asleep in bed. But that is it. I would never leave them and go 'off site' IYSWIM. They are now almost 8 and 5

LIZS · 10/12/2004 21:27

But Hula, then how do you get a carload of shopping and a sleepy toddler upstairs from the garage if you don't leave them somewhere. I would have to shuttle the bags from the car to the lift then back to carry dd from the car. Alternative is to leave it all in the car until dh comes home.

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