Reins or no reins?

[onetwothreenc]

My toddler is walking independently, can walk a good 10m without falling but is still occasionally stumbling. She hates being in the pram now she knows she can move and I'd like her to be able to walk when we go out. I don't know whether to get some reins, not for the running off side of things but so that I can catch her if she falls. Holding on with one hand makes her more unsteady and does my back in. So, are reins a good idea?

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MNHQ

Reins are essential. Toddlers can slip their hand out of yours in a microsecond and run into the road.
When I was a junior doctor covering ITU we admitted a two year old who had done exactly that and been hit by a car. He had a serious head injury, been rendered permanently blind, had three fractured ribs and two limb fractures.
I swore at the time that I would always use reins if I had children, and I stuck to that resolve. They are also great for preventing skinned knees and torn trousers too - if the toddler trips over, you just jerk the reins up so they dangle and regain their balance, instead of hitting the pavement knees first.

Reins are so much comfortable for the toddler than holding their arm up in the air the hold your hand.

We have a little backpack with a lead on it. He likes his backpack and it gets him in the mood for walking.

Can also recommend a buggy board

if the toddler trips over, you just jerk the reins up so they dangle and regain their balance, instead of hitting the pavement knees first

Yep this was exactly what I was picturing. Glad it wasn't a stupid suggestion thank you

They're better off being left to fall over than having you hoik them up. Young generally are soft and squidgy and often bounce when they fall and rarely actually hurt themselves but it's all part of the learning process to fall.

I used reins if I was with DD somewhere where her running off would be a disaster (even though she wasn't generally a runner) like by a busy road or whatever or if I knew I might need to look away from her (ie handling paying in a busy shop).

I never used them but my kids weren't runners

Definitely reins. Keeps them safe and you can stop them falling. I also used the backpack type, which look more comfortable (more padding) than the harness type.

Never used reins. Really dislike them. We insisted on hands held when anywhere near cars. I think it’s fine for them to fall over a bunch. As a pp said, they’re pretty durable by this age and falling and getting back up is how they learn.

He's too young right now but we'll use them. Quite frankly, I don't care how they look it's about safety and comfort and they seem to be logical for when they are learning to walk and learning about holding hands.

I don't think reins are a good idea for yanking her up when she falls.

She can only walk 10 metres. I'd get her in the pram whether she likes it or not and then take her to the park or wherever is good for her to walk around herself.

In this lovely weather take a picnic blanket and lunch/snacks and she can practice her walking. She needs to fall over to learn how to walk more than 10 metres. She's not ready yet for just walking along the street and holding onto your pram/hand/being held up with reins. You'll get nowhere fast and she won't have proper freedom to walk and tumble over and over and over again like they need to.

We used reins, it meant DD had far more freedom as she wasn't stuck right next to us with her arm up in the air holding hands (especially with her very tall dad). It was also far safer when near open water - we have lots of canals round here and she also loved feeding the ducks. I genuinely can't see any reason not to use them whilst children are so very young.

Just to add, I have reins for my 20 month old son for certain situations. But he's running everywhere, not walking 10 metres and falling over.

There will come a time when they are handily to have in a rucksack when you're out and about but I wouldn't use them for dangling your toddler like a puppet when they tumble.

Reins, always. Just in case as you never know what may make them scared and bolt into the road. As Babdoc has testified to children do get hit by cars. I am sure that there was a MNetter whose child died by running into the road and then advocated for reins. Mine had reins, still held onto the pram but I had control in case they bolted. Dogs often make toddlers nervous and nervous toddlers will run into a road to get away from them. It isn't just about falling. Get them used to them as soon as possible.

Reigns are absolutely essential for my DD, she's quick as lightning and would be out into the road like a shot. I've had a few funny looks but I'd rather that than a seriously injured child.

Never used reins, they're not essential at all. Personal choice as with all things, but toddlers are designed to toddle, fall over, get up (the falling and getting up is a key part of it) and toddle on....

I use them as my toddler refuses to hold hands and if he bolts then there is no way I could run to catch him.

There was, I always remember her posts

Reins are essential
I wouldn't say they are. I didn't use them with my children and my DD and DS don't use them with their children.
It's a personal choice but they are not essential . I did try them once with my eldest but preferred just holding their hand. My DD has never used them with her children (and they were all early walkers) as she just doesn't like them.

DGC2 has the backpack/ rein combo but he’s a bolter (he’s 2). DGC1 didn’t have them as he was very good about hand holding.

@Kyse23 thank you for confirming, my youngest is now 17 which is how long I have been on MN but that harrowing post from a Mother losing her child that way stuck with me. She used to come onto all the rein threads and tell everyone to get them. If anyone over the years asked me if I thought they should use reins I say absolutely. I would argue that they are an essential item.

I never had a seat belt in the back of the car until I was at least 10 but I still bought car seats for my children and strapped them in tight.

Totally depends on the child, I’m extremely pro reigns due to the safety issue but we just haven’t had cause with DD, she doesn’t run. DS may turn out to be a different kettle of fish!

Personally though I don’t think reigns are great for keeping them on their feet, I don’t like the idea that you’re pulling them up via their torso. I’m a horrible strict mummy and until DD could reliably walk the distance to where we were going the pram was non negotiable, on the proviso she could walk around when we got to our destination eg supermarket, park.

Looped reins on a harness (not the backpack one, not strong enough) are lifesavers. Not only walking but you can use the harness to clip into high chairs, buggies etc. if your little one has a doll pushchair they can push it whilst you hold the reins (even if you are pushing a new little one, I used to loop around my wrist

My DD only ran from me once. It was in a car park. We were bloody lucky. Reins all the way after that.

Reins are essential.

Not for stopping baby falling - probably not safe to do this! Keeping yanking on them. Babies need to learn how to fall. If they're not walking safely, probably don't take them out on hard pavements where they can hurt themselves. Practice on grass and use the pram if they're not sturdy to walk.

However, reins are ESSENTIAL for stopping your baby running into the road. If they're not a good hand holder, is it really worth the risk? You will hear a lot of "I always did fine without them", but that isn't the case for everyone. It only takes literally half a second for your baby to slip your hand and then they're gone.

I will be getting them when the time comes. They are safer but I also think they give the child more freedom compared to holding their parents hand. Usually they are so small they don't even realise they have them on