Reins or no reins?

[onetwothreenc]

My toddler is walking independently, can walk a good 10m without falling but is still occasionally stumbling. She hates being in the pram now she knows she can move and I'd like her to be able to walk when we go out. I don't know whether to get some reins, not for the running off side of things but so that I can catch her if she falls. Holding on with one hand makes her more unsteady and does my back in. So, are reins a good idea?

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MNHQ

I thought reins were terrible, like dogs on leads...

then I grew up!

I have car park grip, I hold their hands, rather than them holding mine. It's fine for 'situations' but I don't think it's very kind to make them hold hands for any length of time as they have to stretch up. Plus they don't have two hands to explore. I like them to hold the pram around town, but the back up of reins is good.

i wouldn't take them to busy markets etc without reins.

I prefer proper chest reins without back packs and definitely not wrist reins.

She hates being in the pram now she knows she can move and I'd like her to be able to walk when we go out.

If she is a runner then she gets put in the buggy until she learns not to run.

Reins only work for some things.

Oh and some children whether they are 13 months or 7 years just have no sense around roads.

Yes to reins. We don’t use them everywhere, but busy roads freak me out so it’s a good tool to have if you do a lot of walking around the streets. It’s just a shame some people have such a poor judgement of parents who use them.

I think they are a useful tool and it very much depends on your child and your lifestyle how much you use them.

My DD never really strayed far from my side. Happy to hold hands, liked being in the buggy or the carrier. We didn’t use the reins very often at all.

My DS on the other hand, walked at 10 months and pretty much started running the day after and hasn’t stopped since. Absolutely he’d be in front of a car or off a cliff or in a pond or god knows what else if he wasn’t either strapped in to buggy, gripped incredibly tightly by whoever was in sole charge of him (and then you have another child to manage too), or on reins.

Grandparents in particular were insistent on them as they felt he was too fast to catch should he make a run for it. Obviously we weren’t using them if we went for a picnic in an open space, but anywhere near roads or water or busy places then they were extremely helpful!

My non runner once managed to follow her Dad out the house without anyone realising and got ovdr half a mile from the house before she was found. She wasn't quite two years old. Children are unpredictable.

Reins are an extra security measure in busy places. Especially useful when you have more than one small child.

Reins essential. Start them early and they just get used to them. We've never had an issue with them. They go on whenever we leave the house and I just leave them on if she is in the buggy/car seat etc.

Love reins. They are a useful tool. Great for safety around water, roads and crowds. I also like the chest harness rather than wrist

You can have fun with reins games too when they're a bit older, we play at being dogs or ponies and it helps tired legs go a bit further

I had reins for my two sons , went to a good nursery shop and bought a beautiful leather set with bunny rabbits on .

Yes, use them. Maybe they'll never save your child from falling / running into the road or in a carpark or into water. But maybe they will.

I can't remember the mumsnetters name, but I read her post when I had DD, it removed any doubts I had about reins. She had twins and her husband didn't use the reins one day. Something happened with 1 twin and while he was dealing with them the other ran into the road and was killed.

I have twins and never used reins. It's a personal thing and depends on your child but I have been very clear about talking my two to hold hands / hold pushchair / hold trolley etc

When I was a child, my brothers and I loved our reins.

When dd was small I had made a long tube of wool (one of those knitting doll things) which is would tie around her waist when we went out. It was bright red and easy to pick out and follow. So, one end tied around her and the other round my wrist. I could let it out if it was OK for her wander a bit or wrap it more round my hand if I wanted to keep her close.

As an adult, dd tells me it made her feel safe, that she could always find me if she felt she needed to.

Reins are great but we had no money and only dh's old leather ones which had become completely friable and unusable, so I picked up the tube and used that. Imo it was better than reains as it's length could be made so flexible and she could really feel freedom if she wanted it. If we were in a more crowded place, I could just wrap it round me more and keep her close.

I had a thing about my kids falling out of prams, pushchairs and high chairs, so they wore a harness and were always clipped in from very early on. They never fell out of anything, despite their best efforts to climb and fall out! Once they were walking, apart from at home, they wore their harness and reins, which meant I could save them from a tumble on hard tarmac, and also that they could not race into the road or wander off. I don't know if the backpack kind are sturdy enough that you could catch the child and prevent a fall. As for practising falling, they did plenty of that at home indoors. I have a lovely photo of my Dad by a river fishing with my daughter; he needed both hands for something, so she is anchored to his leg for safety! Seeing young kids let loose alongside busy roads - and not so busy ones come to that- makes my blood run cold. If a toddler dashed into the road right in front of your car, are your reactions so good you could guarantee not hitting them? Me neither.
I'm reminded of that poor child whose mother released his hand whilst she got her purse out in a shop. He was gone in a trice, into the clutches of two evil boys and the story did not have a happy ending. No blame attached up to his poor mum at all, could have happened to anybody, but I always said "if only he'd been wearing reins".

Reins. More comfortable for all involved.

Just watch for if they realise they can 'fly' by flinging themselves forward so you catch them and they kinda swing off your arm. If they figure that out you're done for :)

We had the classic leather bib ones for DS1 (he was a fearless runner - I once watched him sprint off across the park in the dark and realised how hard it would be to find him and started dressing him in head to toe reflective gear so I'd be able to find him if he did it again). DS2 never needed them, and I can't actually remember why in the toddler fog - I think he was just too clingy!

To the PPs who say their child is “not a bolter” - no toddler bolts… until they do.
The 2 year old I treated in ITU, who was left blind and brain damaged, had never bolted before.
His parents came out of church on a quiet Sunday morning, holding his hand. He spotted something on the other side of the road and just slipped his hand free and ran straight in front of a car.
It can happen in a split second and leaves you guilt stricken for life with your dead or injured child. All for the price of a set of reins. Please don’t risk it.

i use reins or sometimes just a wrist strap. In very busy places I load them both in the double buggy
I choose places to go with them where I can let them both loose without fear of losing them and where there is no traffic to get used to walking. Anywhere busy it’s reins as it isn’t worth the risk.

I had the backpack reins and tried them and all three of my DC absolutely refused to wear them. They are a great idea for very young DC.

Reins

We have the toddlepak reins (chest harness).

I really only used them when DD was similarly desperate to walk but not yet that capable. I hear what people are saying about kids need to fall to learn, and I largely agree, but there's also some situations where the fall would be harsher/ you need to let them let off steam but not appropriate to fall... And yes we found it helpful to have reins to stop her faceplanting in certain situations.

After reading these posts I'm definitely going to be using them more now though!

I once fielded a toddler who was racing down the slope from the station. His mum and grandma were a long way behind with no hope of catching him. They were calling out to me to stop him (I would have, if course, even if they hadn't called out.) If I hadn't been there, he'd almost certainly have run straight into the road at the bottom of the slope, and a motorist coming out from under the railway bridge could never have seen him in time to stop.

My toddler is 18 months. When she first started walking, she was a headless chicken running everywhere in every direction...now she's got some control thankfully and will walk holding your hand...but after a certain amount of time she wants her freedom.

I use reins and hand holding. I try to emphasise the hand holding with the reins as backup.

I've just bought a second hand pair of rei s for DS who's nearly 20 month old.
He's a very confident walker in the park but doesn't like holding my hand or the buggy whilst walking and is fascinated by cars so always wants to wander near to roads.

For those that used them, was it a long term thing or a short few months?
I'm hoping I can just use them for a few months until he learns to walk with the buggy when we're by roads or in busy places.

I used them until around 3.5 when I was out alone with my 2 until dd was reliable holding onto the pushchair with her sister in it. Generally dd1 was pushing her dolls pram next to me but I didn't trust her near busy roads, just not worth the risk

We used reins, not for very long, a year or so maybe when DS was very young. Not so much in our own street but I vividly remember having a day out in London and he was in reins and I was so glad to always have him secure. I bet he doesn’t remember but I do. Better safe than sorry.

MN love reins but a lot of children don’t unfortunately and refuse to walk with them on - we had a backpack but ds point blank refused to walk when he realised he was on a lead so I would buy secondhand!

They pretty much all refuse them but you just ride it out. Walk with reins or in the buggy. Those are the choices! We endured a few meltdowns and have no bother at all now.