Meltdown in supermarket!

[Upallnightfeeding]

What would you do in this situation:

Child is 2, needs a nap. You pop in for a couple things and think they will be okay for 5 mins. They see the cupcakes, you say no and they lose it. On the floor kicking, screaming, you get the idea.

What would you do?

1. Get them to the till screaming to quickly pay for the things then leave.
2. Abandon the items and leave asap.
3. Find a corner and try calm them down (somewhat difficult) before proceeding with checkout.
4. Something else.

Obviously every child is different. Every situation different. But interested in hearing the ways in which parents deal with this difficult situation! It’s a tough one!

I would start with a quick “right let’s pay for these then go home and after your nap we can do/have (insert something desirable)” and if that didn’t work pick up pay for essentials and leave!

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Hm, guess that if you only have a couple if things I would take the screaming child to the till.

Been in this situation in the past but with a full trolley. Told them that if they don't calm down we will have to leave the shop. They didn't, picked them up and left. Guess what, they've never done it again after that.

Interesting! You left a full trolley of stuff?! I sympathise with you, that must have sucked

Yes but I imagine the screaming child wanted to leave the shop. So I'm not sure that's a win for you.

I'd ignore the screaming and go and go and pay for my items.

Literally just a couple of things? Pick them up and crack on and cheerfully roll my eyes in a kids, eh fashion at anyone who looks.

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I’ve done option 1 in that situation.

Explain once.
Get whatever I'm there for in no particular rush
Pay
No way is my toddler dictating

4- if it was whining about the cupcake stage I'd go for distraction e.g. get them to look out for the next thing on your list, can you help get it off the shelf and into the trolley kind of thing.

But if i'd already tried that and they went full meltdown then I'd probably just pay everything, get them to the car and try and calm them down there.

I'm impressed that 'buying them a cupcake' was not an option. I know that's totally the wrong thing to do but I'm currently 'doing what I need to do' to get through these awful tantrums. I need to be more firm though. I'm just exhausted by it!

I would have bought the cupcakes when they suggested it and told them that was a nice idea, we'll share those whilst we read a story after your nap.

Then if they asked for another similar food tell them to pick between the two.

I'd have probably been a massive pushover and said I'd get the cupcake and if they were good they could eat it on the way home. You have my sympathies it's so shit to deal with though, bad enough at home but in public it's horrid.

If at all possible I would get the cupcakes when they asked to avoid the tantrum in the first place. You have to pick your battles and a tired toddler who wants a cupcake in a supermarket is not the battle for me.

If this wasn't possible (can't afford it/child can't eat cupcakes/it would lead to a bigger problem later etc.) then I'd sympathise with them, but continue getting the shopping I needed.

I get the thinking behind picking battles and getting the cupcakes, however it was the 12 pack and she was not settling for any other smaller ones… we had a full birthday cake in the house. (Granted she obvs wasn’t aware of this she’s 2!)

And also just a few days ago, she did the same with Ben and jerrys ice cream. She didn’t want any other cheaper alternative.
So I really don’t wanna get into the habit of her thinking she can pick anything and always get it. I’m all for treats etc but I’m trying to find the balance

Come to think of it I’ve probably set her up thinking I will just say yes so the fact it’s been a no she’s freaked out. Need to work on saying no more often for her to get used to it! Then a treat will be a treat… just thinking out loud! 😂

I remember reading a book called Toddler Taming when my daughter was that age. It said the solution to dealing with meltdowns in the supermarket was not to take them. I know this sounds like a stating the bloody obvious, but it made such a difference to my life!

When I absolutely had to take her, then I used to have food for her to eat in the trolley. That stopped her wanting random things on the shelves.

Not least for the staff!

I used to just let mine go into full blown meltdown in the aisle and keep walking to the nxt aisle. I knew they were ok because I could still hear them (they were super loud)! As soon as they couldn't see me, they stopped and started panicking whereby I reappeared and we finished our shopping. It's never too early to learn that you can't always get what you want. Mind you, I actively avoided taking them supermarket shopping because no kid enjoys it, IME.

As long as she wasn’t blocking the aisle and there was space for people and trolleys to pass I’d try to calm her down but then leave her to get on with it and wait it out pretending to browse the shelves. I once stood outside the little Tesco and read a book while she threw a strop about not being allowed to go in and buy a treat (we had bought treats earlier). It only took a couple of minutes for her to realise it wasn’t going to work. I did once carry her home from the park horizontal and screaming, my dodgy pelvic floor gave up, and by the time we got home I handed her over and locked myself in the bathroom for a cry. Thankfully that was the worst, and was never repeated…

My mother once pretended to have a tantrum herself (not in the supermarket!) and my DD was so surprised she stopped straight away.

I used to find it helped to tell my DC in advance whether treats might be an option.

We had less tantrums about wanting treats when they’d been told going in that treats wouldn’t be happening.

Yeah you’re actually making a huge rod for your own back by capitulating to it. When they throw a tantrum they don’t actually need or even necessarily want what they’re screaming about.

What they need is for you to calmly ignore (even if it’s an Oscar winning act) and remove or distract them asap. If that’s in a supermarket you just distract or grey rock. I personally wouldn’t leave, especially if I’d spent time and petrol getting there and had shit to do. Life is too short to give in to tantrummy toddlers.

A trick I might use would be to basically take their side and say "oh yeah you really want it. Let's write down that you want a that/take a picture on my phone so that you can remember what you want."or you can tell them to look at it while you grab the next thing and say you'll be back in a minute.

Kids don't actually want to buy the thing in my personal experience*, they just want an agreement sounding attitude from you so they can feel secure. So if you can agree with their sentiment without actually doing what it appeared they wanted, then everyone's a winner

*Kids may vary!

Good luck

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I'd not give tantruming child any attention and crack on with my shopping as fast as possible. I would not be buying cupcakes.