Meltdown in supermarket!

[Upallnightfeeding]

What would you do in this situation:

Child is 2, needs a nap. You pop in for a couple things and think they will be okay for 5 mins. They see the cupcakes, you say no and they lose it. On the floor kicking, screaming, you get the idea.

What would you do?

1. Get them to the till screaming to quickly pay for the things then leave.
2. Abandon the items and leave asap.
3. Find a corner and try calm them down (somewhat difficult) before proceeding with checkout.
4. Something else.

Obviously every child is different. Every situation different. But interested in hearing the ways in which parents deal with this difficult situation! It’s a tough one!

I have walked out of a super market with a shopping bag in one hand and a planking screaming toddler under the other arm on more than one occasion. You can attempt to distract and sympathise with just how unfair life can be, but failing that (most likely!) you grey rock, get what you need done ASAP being outwardly calm, then get the fuck out of there whilst still maintaining your swan-like grace and composure. If you meet anyone's eye, give an apologetic eye roll and grimace, followed by a sympathy-seeking smile.

Probably try and calm them down, but then abandon the trolley. Don't see why everyone should need to put up with that (also if child is prone to tantrums near nap time, would be avoiding such situations in the future).
I'd be tempted to get the cupcakes just to shut them up (which I know is a very bad idea!!)

I too left a full cart of groceries after my 2 year old threw a fit. I was a regular and asked one of the employees if they could keep it and I'd be back within a few hours. My daughter also lost the treat she picked out for after lunch. Didn't happen again. I had to ask a neighbor (good friend) to sit with her during her nap. I missed out on a few hours of "me time," but that's life.

Completely agree. It might not be the time to extend your shopping trip, but get what you need, and on you go. After 3 calm children, my DS4 did this once or twice when it suited him (fully flung himself to the floor in a tantrum drumming his hands and feet) largely met by amusement by DS1, DD2, DD3 who were only too happy to report "DS4 is kicking off (usually for a similar thing as the cakes)", I would say, "oh well "DS4 is going back in his pushchair then" followed by scooping him up, and putting him back in it (or as @SkankingWombat says, under the arm if necessary Mine are all grown up now, but every time I see this at the supermarket, I applaud the mum who sticks to the guns, despite being ear-shredding for the rest of us. Usually with a wry smile of "I've been there, don't worry about it" Do what you want to do, and don't worry about other people. xx

If I could put them in a pushchair or trolley (id have had the pushchair with me for a tired 2 year old), just continue doing what I was doing with not very much thought to the tantrum. Otherwise we stop and wait. The cupcake isn't happening, in fact nothing is happening until the tantrum stops. Yes to under the arm if possible. YY to @SkankingWombat 's apologetic eye roll and grimace!!

I always put them in the trolley seat, even if I don't really need a trolley for what I'm buying, then quickly push past the cupcake section so it's out of sight before they get to the meltdown stage. I do also avoid supermarkets with small kids unless it's an emergency, and if we do go I have a pre-agreed small treat for on the way home, so I'm not giving in to demands but have a preemptive bribe in place.

When my ds (also two) is very tired, it really isn’t the time to teach him to respect my authority, or to decide he will not dictate to me what happens during the day.

Life has to happen, but sometimes a bit of deconstruction can help. Even as adults, we overreact to things when tired. I think just try to comfort as best you can and get out of there quickly, but personally I’d have probably bought the cakes. I don’t think things need to be a bigger deal than they are, if you see what I mean, and things can quickly become less about the item and more about a battle of wills. As an adult, you can win that battle but if the kingdom you get as a result is a screaming, distressed toddler, well, I think I’d leave the invasion for another day

Option 1, 3 or 4 (buy the cakes- you say it's a pack of 12 so I would freeze the uneaten ones).
The option I chose would depend on what I deemed best for my child in the moment. Sometimes talking to them is just not worth it equally, sometimes you need to enforce a teaching point and not buy the cakes!
My second child has lots of tantrums so I'm quite comfortable with Option 1 too!

Option 2, with grovelling apologies to staff ask exit.

There are two things to remember:

1. It’s easier to avoid a problem than troubleshoot it later (supermarket deliveries are awesome)
2. never negotiate with terrorists!

I'd do 1 unless the tantrum was full on enough to make the entire supermarket stop and turn as one to stare at us (yes this happened once with dc1). Or if I was only there for something extra rather than a necessity. Not helpful at all but I just wouldn't take a 2 year old due an imminent nap to the shops - it's asking for trouble! I do, however, know that needs must so don't blame you for doing it.

@Latenightreader that sounds so similar to my experiences with DS . I made sure he was safe and waited for him to calm down . I became immune to the dirty looks. I work in retail and a young lady came to the checkout with a toddler having the most spectacular meltdown I have ever seen . I could see mum was getting upset and close to tears and I was trying to help her. Another young mum stopped and helped pack her shopping while reassuring her it had happened to all of us. It was so nice to see the support from a stranger 😊

Carpet roll them under my arm and tell them to be quiet in hope 😂

I wouldn't have gone in the shop in the first place. Go later/get someone else to go. Recipe for disaster if they're already at point of meltdown!

I did 1 fairly often.

I also had a toddler who like to run away in the supermarket, so she got one warning and then strapped into the trolley which she hated.

I remember clearly one time she ran, I ran after her scooped her up and put her in the trolley seat and continued shopping.
She howled. Full blown melt down. I just went on shopping, saying things like - oh look carrots, shall we get some for dinner. Those strawberries look nice.
And interspersing it with - no dd, you can't get down, because you ran off remember? Now then, shall we get some eggs?

She kept going for about and hour and a half about ten minutes and at one point an older lady wakled past and said to me - well done, stick to your guns. I was so grateful for that.

Finally she stopped.
She never ran off in a supermarket again, I reminded her as we went in - stay with the trolley, if you run, you will need to ride in the trolley seat, and she got it.

I would just like to atke this opportunity to apologise to all the other customers in tescos. believe me it was worse for me!

Oh boy I've been there too! I remember I used to just keep up a patter of talk, like a PP said: "I know you're really sad that I can't carry you right now. I know that's hard. Ok we need yoghurts, do you want to choose some? Ok I'll choose... Let me know if you want to do some helping. You're doing really well staying in that seat (while holding her in it if necessary!). I know you want me to carry you, but I can't do that right now... Look at all the bananas, how many shall we buy?" etc etc.

I remember once doing this, one hand on toddler who was thrashing about trying to jump out of the trolley seat, one hand trying to push the heavy trolley with a wonky wheel, trying to talk to her calmly and not lose my shit... And then a woman smiled at me and said "you're doing great!" I almost bawled (in gratitude) in the middle of the aisle 😆

I realise with hindsight a trolley would have maybe helped however I was out of routine in a supermarket we don’t normally go to so i just maybe should have thought it out before a bit in advance, which I usually do. Will teach me for being relaxed for once!

Also yes I had a buggy and a toddler, needed another pair of hands! Lol