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I REALLY need help

28 replies

Helena1993 · 20/05/2023 20:17

My 1 year old screams HYSTERICALLY every night at bedtime. For about an hour. I feed, I sing, I bounce, hug and do whatever I can and nothing helps. It even seems by going in and trying to help I make things worse.
She naps once a day for 1-3 hrs.
I tried offering a second nap in the afternoon but she’s not interested and just cries until I pick her up and let her play. She rarely takes the opportunity and just falls asleep for her second nap.
This has been going on since she started nursery 2 weeks ago. At first it was only bedtime but now this is even happening before naps. Once she falls asleep she sleeps 12 hrs in a row at night. What can I do to stop this?????? This is really hard on me and the baby.
She strangely sometimes takes a bottle and falls asleep. Other times I give her the bottle and she just screams even louder. My ears are literally hurting and I don’t know how to deal with this madness. I even lost my nerves and yelled at her „what the fk is wrong with you!!!“ 😔😔😔😔

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Timothhorton · 24/05/2023 23:40

Ooff that is tough. It’s so difficult isn’t it. Sadly babies can’t talk so sometimes
it’s completely out of your control to fix it, you just need to ride it out, it’s so hard if you have other things to do and are knackered.

If I were to guess, though, they can start to drop the second nap at that age and try to consolidate into a longer one but it’s not an automatic transition it takes ages, months
sometimes, to adjust. Secondly it’s pretty common for kids to fall apart with tiredness when they have such a big change in routine like nursery. Lastly when they start to go to nursery/daycare they pick up everything, you couldn’t rule out things
like an ear infection, sensitivities to different food and being thirsty or more constipated and uncomfortable. I expect you know what to look for there though and it’s unlikely.

I would ask the nursery to give
You precise details about when she fell asleep (not just when she went down) how much she ate and drank and nappies in full colour detail so you can get a handle on it. It sounds
like you are really attentive to her needs which is lovely. But if I could go back in time and do anything different it would be to stop bringing my own stress into a situation which I did and it didn’t help. To be clear, I am not comparing your wee baby to a dog, but I notice my dog acts totally different when someone is upset in the house, my kids were built the same and still pick up massively on my stress. Had I gone into the room thinking “whatever your emotions are you and I will cope and everything will be fine” it probably went on the same
amount of time… but it didn’t feel like it.

You could try dedicating 10 mins per night to just doing a game, going out to the garden and blow bubbles or “dancing” or banging pots, something without the agenda of winding down and going to bed. Somehow evolution has given
babies the ability to spot parents’ “go to sleep”agenda’s at 50 paces! You aren’t by yourself though my 2 did the same but also were
up multiple times
at night for 2.5 years each. As the old adage goes you can’t control you what is happening, just your reaction to it but it took me a long time to figure that out. Best of luck to you.

Helena1993 · 25/05/2023 06:32

Thank you all for your kind words❤️

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Helena1993 · 08/06/2023 21:48

Sooo I finally know what happened. Don't know why it happened but anyhow...
For SOME REASON she ended up getting SO upset every evening at bedtime because she wanted another feed before bed that she refused taking the bottle. I tired literally anything you can imagine. Then I found out that if I lay her on the changing unit, turn on the radiant heater she gets distracted enough for me to put the bottle in her mouth. Then she now finally drinks and sleeps blissfully for 12-14 hours straight.
This is kind of weird because I always offer her milk before bedtime but she still cried. Oh well. It's all good now. Thank... god...

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