BIL plays rough with newborn (throwing in air!) - How do I tell Sis she needs to stop him??

[jaclynb]

That's it really. My niece is 6 weeks and he throws her in the air like you would a 2 yr old for fun! He also doesn't support her head when holding her.
I know that i need to get him to stop but how can i do it without really offending my sis?

If she is your sister than surely you can talk to her? Just ask her how she feels about him doing that and make it clear it is a dangerous thing to do.

You need to catch him at it and shriek "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, i KNOW SOMEONE WHO KILLED THEIR BABY DOING THAT! SHE'S NOT "STRONG ENOUGH TO BE THROWN AROUND LIKE THAT!

you need to tell him it's a no no before your baby gets seriously hurt (that's if this post is for real)

I really can't do better than what Colditz said.

Do you mean he throws her into the air so that he has let go of her and then catches her again? Bugger offending your sis. Tell her that her baby could DIE if her husband keeps rattling her brain against her skull by throwing her around.

2 or 3 seconds of shaking can be enough to kill a baby. Repeatedly lobbing them into the air with the resulting whiplash-like effect isn't going to do them a great deal of good, is it?

am not a neurotic parent by any means, and babies are more robust than we sometimes think, but a tiny baby with no head control cannot be played with in such a rough and tumble way

could cause brain injury?

he absolultey must stop this

NAb - I think she thinks that it's Ok too I've senn her do it. I think BIL is quite bossy with her about the baby

you have to tell them both it is dangerous. and could harm or even kill their baby, why would anyone think that would be ok,or fun for a 6 week old baby??? fucking hell

Tell her to read the bit in the Red Book (you know, the booklet the HV gives you where they write down all the weights and vaccinations) about how dangerous it is to shake a small baby.

I've already been ther when he' sdoen it but didin't want to criticise there parenting. Now I know i shoud've done exactly what colditz said at the time

colditz is so right

actually, don't wait to catch him at it again, para-phrase colditz's words to him and your sister NOW..

'GOT TO SAY THIS...JESUS CHRIST, CAN'T BELIEVE HAVE SEEN YOU THROWING BABY IN AIR.."..

he needs a swift lesson you can't do this to a newborn baby, before your neice gets hurt. so what if somone gets offended, the baby's safety comes first.

If you do tell them and they don't listen you need to tell someone else who they will listen too. In theory there is plenty of time for games like that but there won't be if they carry on now at 6 weeks!

how old are you sister and BIL, btw?

You are all right. I'm off to ring sis now...

OMG is he nuts? A six-week-old? You must tell your sis NOW before he seriously damages that baby.

my sis is 25 and BIL is about 35 I think.

Phew!

Hope she listens.

Be prepared for them to tell you where to go!

The thought of this makes me feel ill.

Also hoping they listen - pair of silly chuffs who are both older enough to know a LOT better. If they give you a hard time, I think you really need to alert their health visitor. This is a very serious issue and they need pulling up on it.

What's the baby's reaction when he does this? Does she cry? Smile? Scream in agony?

you're doing the right thing
good luck
don't panic if your sisters gets angry with you - it'll just be her being defensive.
let us know how you get on

The're not in. I've left a message to ring me when they get back home.

agree with edam
only asked their ages becuase presumed they were teeangers with an appalling lack of education (not that that would make it all right, of course).
really hope she listens and, more importantly, they STOP

Do make it clear, won't you, that if the HV notices any symptom of shaken baby syndrome, Social Services will be informed and they may well lose that baby.