My bil is a plank, has zero skills when it comes to communicating with young children. He spent the whole bank holiday weekend at ours and all he has done is wind up my 4yo to the point where there were tears, meltdowns and anger spurts. He would tease, mock, trick ds to the point where all weekend my ears were constantly pierced from ds shouting and screaming in defence. He is only 4yos where I removed several times from the situation telling him to stop it where I can feel ds's heart racing from being so upset. Many adults spend time with ds but whenever bil is around, he just winds ds so much that it gives me anxiety.
Yesterday I shouted can you stop winding him up, what sort of pleasure do you gain from upsetting such a young child who is still emotionally developing. I told DH next time he comes over to place him in a hotel. Honestly I felt like punching his brains out. Honestly this isn't because he is my pfb and he should learn to be resilient etc but I honestly cannot deal with the upset that it causes and for me to go and console him each and every time just because my thick bil enjoys watching a young child having a meltdown.