5.5 month old whinges constantly

[Purple89]

I'm a first time mum and finding it quite tough. I've asked a few questions on here and received really helpful responses, wonder if I could trouble you all with one more.

My 5.5 month old is I think what some call 'high needs'. Reflux and CMPA, very alert, not a good sleeper. The reflux and CMPA is being managed well and we are on a plan to reduce her medication.

I love her to bits and when times are good they're very good. But I'm finding the days with her quite tough sometimes. She whinges a lot. Nothing pleases her for very long. She can be very smiley and happy but she needs entertaining constantly and requires constant attention. I couldn't leave her on her playmat and her entertain herself. Her head control is getting good and I bought a ring which she can sit in which gives me 10 mins. She likes her jumparoo but again for only 10 minutes. The only way she doesn't whinge is if I play with her constantly, all day every day. I'm obviously happy to play with her but I do run out of things to distract or entertain her. Sometimes I just feel really down as I don't think I can make her happy. She has been checked by a doctor and all is fine. I think she seems frustrated, she rolls onto her stomach and gets stuck and is making swimming gestures but then whinges to be moved.

I do try and get out everyday, I find that helps. She loves baby classes. However she doesn't sleep well in the car or pram (30 min catnaps only and then wakes up and gets bored). This I find limiting.

I guess what I'm hoping is that someone else has been there and it gets better.

Sleep wise, wakes every 30 mins on the dot in the day and needs resettling to do longer (I try to do that at lunch time so I get a breather to eat go to the loo etc).

At night she does 7/7.30 til midnight- 2ish (that would be a good night), then might go another hour after her bottle. From 3/4am she won't sleep in her cot and I end up cosleeping.

Thank you for reading x

Thank you for your lovely post. Unfortunately mine and DH's families are 100 miles away. We are making arrangements so my mum can visit more, and I have found a local babysitter for ad hoc things. What's hard is my DD is also quite clingy and cries a lot with people other than me and DH. I know this is something we need to push through though. It just makes me anxious knowing she's going to cry a lot / be upset with them.

Your post has given me a lot of hope. Thank you xx

Thank you so much xx

Thank you, fingers crossed she is an early crawler!! You're probably right and I maybe should be happy she is an alert energetic girl.

My little boy was like this, I found 4-7 months really tough. I would have to rotate him round his stations, i.e. his play mat, jumperoo, walker, highchair with a toy on... each would last 10 mins and on we'd move to the next station!

I would second the advice about getting out of the house - you've got some better weather incoming. God I'd love to know the steps I did on mat leave, I walked and walked!! He loved being in the pram so it was the only break I got from the whining.

I put his need for constant stimulation down to his rapidly developing brain. He's now 2y2m and he is so bloody clever! He is amazing, I can't believe what he learns each week. So try and see the positives - they are probably going to be a bright little spark if they are demanding more interaction and stimulation now.

Lastly I'll just say that this phase is temporary. When I was in it, it felt like it was never going to end. As soon as he crawled at 7 months it got MUCH better as he was in control of much more, he could move to where he wanted, go and see what he wanted to look at etc. His determination has defo helped him reach each stage at a good pace. So stay strong, it won't last forever!

Thanks for your post. I would like to do this but DD gets really cranky and unsettled from about 6pm onwards. We also really struggle to get her down for her last nap at about 4.30 as it is, so I'd be worried she would be really overtired and cranky if I put her down later.

At the minute I have an hour with DH then read and go to sleep about 9. DH does the first wake up and then I do those after c.1.30am.

I think 5.5mo is such a awkward age! Mine went through this phase too, they are just on the cusp of so many developments, rolling, sitting up, weaning. They get so frustrated. And also hungry! But not quite ready for solids.

And they also do just need a bit more to entertain them as they are becoming more switched on. Sounds like you're doing everything right, it will pass like everything does.

Hi, @Purple89, your story really resonates as I felt very similarly with my now 8-month-old. I’m also a FTM and my DD has (silent) reflux and CMPA - although hers were only diagnosed recently. I found it made months 4-7 incredibly hard when frustratingly, everyone said to expect babies to grow out of the grizzliness and colicky behaviour.

Things I found helpful were:

• lots of support for baby to sit up more and more (she was so much happier upright)
• cranial osteopath (not everyone’s cup of tea but they were the only service willing to see DD face-to-face and actually discovered she was severely impacted among other things, which made a huge difference)
• Lucy Wolfe sleep book
• watching the Bluey episode ‘Baby Race’ (it might make you cry!)

I also found it helpful to have friends/family come and spend a whole day around DD. At times it was too hard to describe how it felt so having them see for themselves just how difficult it could be was really validating.

It does get better - DD started slowly napping for longer, settling more easily and sleeping for longer periods at night, all by herself. Keep going; you’re doing great :)

Forgot to add, husband and I used to divide and conquer at bedtime: I’d put DD to bed then go to sleep myself (I’d put earplugs in to get a good 3-4hrs) ; then I’d take over for the next 3-4hrs and husband would step in again in the morning, if needed. It helped me feel like I was getting some blocks of sleep at the very least

Mine is just a few weeks behind yours! They go through massive jumps at this stage, just think about the difference in what they do at 3 months to what they'll be doing at 6 months. There's so so much for them to process and remembering that helps me when mine is being extra clingy and needs help to settle. I find sensory deprivation helps, so he sleeps best in a dark room or in his car seat with the hood all the way down and contact naps are much longer than other naps. It's not easy, today he slept a total of 40 minutes and has been screaming since 7pm because he's massively overtired as a result but even driving didn't get him down today. It will pass through.

Thank you so much I will hang in there you're right!

This is so so helpful. Thank you. We did do cranial osteopathy when she was younger and noticed huge improvement at the time but feel like it's regressed again.

I will check out the Bluey episode (I'm intrigued!) and the book.

It's so good to hear your DD did that, gives me lots of hope 😊

You're so right, it all makes perfect sense even if it's still tough to get through. We definitely find the dark room helps. Unfortunately the car doesn't help DD much which is a shame but will keep trying in case it changes.

So sorry your DS was overtired last night. I hope he went to sleep shortly after you messaged and you managed to get some unbroken sleep!

Slings shouldn’t hurt. You can easily carry a toddler with the right sling and not have any pain at all.

It would be worth going to your local sling library and trying a few out; see what’s comfortable and make sure the fit of the sling is right too as a lot of people don’t wear them properly.

Ay? They are nothing like a carrier bag 😂 but thanks anyway worrying Wendy.

Hello. Feel like I'm in the exact same position and wondering when/ if things got easier?

Hi! Hang in there. It's so hard isn't it. For me, things improved quite soon after this, her mood seemed to lift more about 8 months. Then she started bum shuffling at 10 months and it was better, then her language and gross motor have come on more (still not walking) and it is better still. She is currently 13 months and whilst I would still say I'm finding it hard, I'm worlds away from how I was when I wrote this post originally.

However what I will say is the challenges for me have changed. We are now dealing with tantrums and separation anxiety which bring their own issues but I would still say it is a million times easier than the whinging. And she can tell me more stuff now (albeit she's only saying words not sentences) but she can for example say MILK or MORE or other things which help when she is a bit moody.

Hello!

I've just read this thread and I'm in the same position now with my 5.5 month old, exactly the same! I was just wondering when/ if things got better?! xx

@rosieposie92 I really feel for you it was an incredibly tough time. My little girl started crawling at 7 months and I saw a huge difference, then when she walked a huge difference again. She's now 18 months and a little dream.

I'd say it very gradually got better between the moments I stated above. In the meantime, I tried to lower my expectations of what I could do. It was a really tough time, it is only a short time in their life.

Feel free to PM if you need someone. X

Hello!

It was a gradual thing for me - each mobilitt milestone helped (bum shuffling at 10.5 months, crawling at 12 months, walking at 17.5 months). She was on the later side with each of them as you can see so I think she was often quite frustrated immediately before each one!

I have a just over 2 year old now and whilst she remains intensely demanding for attention, she is amazing. She also does not stop talking all day- she talks the amount she used to whinge! I would say she has properly stopped whinging since she learnt to walk. She does still cry (from tantrums!) Quite a lot though. But I enjoy her soooo much more now.

If you're in the same boat I suspect you will find your child the same - a chatterbox and highly strung, but so loveable and enjoyable. Hang in there. X