5.5 month old whinges constantly

[Purple89]

I'm a first time mum and finding it quite tough. I've asked a few questions on here and received really helpful responses, wonder if I could trouble you all with one more.

My 5.5 month old is I think what some call 'high needs'. Reflux and CMPA, very alert, not a good sleeper. The reflux and CMPA is being managed well and we are on a plan to reduce her medication.

I love her to bits and when times are good they're very good. But I'm finding the days with her quite tough sometimes. She whinges a lot. Nothing pleases her for very long. She can be very smiley and happy but she needs entertaining constantly and requires constant attention. I couldn't leave her on her playmat and her entertain herself. Her head control is getting good and I bought a ring which she can sit in which gives me 10 mins. She likes her jumparoo but again for only 10 minutes. The only way she doesn't whinge is if I play with her constantly, all day every day. I'm obviously happy to play with her but I do run out of things to distract or entertain her. Sometimes I just feel really down as I don't think I can make her happy. She has been checked by a doctor and all is fine. I think she seems frustrated, she rolls onto her stomach and gets stuck and is making swimming gestures but then whinges to be moved.

I do try and get out everyday, I find that helps. She loves baby classes. However she doesn't sleep well in the car or pram (30 min catnaps only and then wakes up and gets bored). This I find limiting.

I guess what I'm hoping is that someone else has been there and it gets better.

Sleep wise, wakes every 30 mins on the dot in the day and needs resettling to do longer (I try to do that at lunch time so I get a breather to eat go to the loo etc).

At night she does 7/7.30 til midnight- 2ish (that would be a good night), then might go another hour after her bottle. From 3/4am she won't sleep in her cot and I end up cosleeping.

Thank you for reading x

Hey I totally feel your pain my first was like this.

I honestly think some babies just don't like being babies. He's 4 now and still rather sensitive and intense but absolutely wonderful. It's nothing your doing wrong.

It's hard though seeing other super chilled out babies! Best thing for us was just getting out as much as possible so that the crying n whining didn't drive me crazy. We did sleep train at 7 months too and once he 'got' sleeping he was a little happier during the day.

It will get easier though! X

Try some white noise or baby relaxing music on YouTube, try and get her to soothe and relax

I should add the sleep mentioned above is the best we get. It has often been wake ups every 45 mins in the night.

Thank you so much, I can't tell you how much it helps to read this. I feel like such a failure sometimes. But rationally I know I'm doing everything I can.

May I ask, what sleep training method did you use?

Thank you for your message, we do use white noise in the night and think it helps somewhat. I will give it a try in the day too, thank you.

Hey,
i also have a 5.5 month old and could have written this ha.
my baby also seems to have a ten minute attention span and we seem to rotate around different areas of the house constantly. I think she will be like this until she learns to crawl and can get to her own toys/change activity when she pleases to be honest.
like everything else with babies I’m just taking it as a phase and riding it out but be reassured you aren’t alone!

xx

6 month old here who whiges all day unless I'm Interacting with him. I think this is a tough age for babies. They want to be able to move and sit and explore more than they can so they get frustrated. I can't leave mine on the playmat either because he rolls over then shouts at the floor because he can't crawl.
One thing that buys me 10 mins... Do you have a foil blanket thing? I think they are actually emergency blankets but also get sold as baby sensory items. Pop them on one of those on the playmat. Mine loves kicking and scrunching it. It's not long but it's an extra 10 mins to add to the jumperoo time.
When he gets really really whingey the only thing that calms mine down is popping him in the sling and dancing with him.
No advice on the sleeping. My 6 month old wakes every hour or two.
Other than that just solidarity. I've heard plenty of people say babies get happier when they can move under their own steam so hopefully that's not too far round the corner for us. 🤞 Because honestly my ears can't take much more 😂

DS was exactly like this. Not an ounce of chill about him. His baby months were relentless and exhausting. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. It’s all frustration, especially for extremely alert babies. DS got better with every milestone and by the time he could walk and talk he was an utter delight. DS sounds like @kfiend ‘s little boy. Quite intense and sensitive but bags of personality and intelligence to boot. He spoke very early, is emotionally articulate for his age and has very rarely rarely tantrumed. I wouldn’t swap him for anything. I used to hide from him in the bathroom at 6 months old!

This was my now 12m old to a near enough T at 4 months minus a few non significant differences. She still wants to have you engaging as much as possible but it's a whole lot better now that she's mobile and generally more cognitively developed. Night sleep is still horrendous but naps, albeit contact a lot of the time, are much more consistent. It does get easier.

We also sleep trained by night weaning at about 9 months of age. I can’t say it made him easier, but getting a better nights sleep meant I could cope with him more!

My son age 12 now was just the same. When he wasn’t whinging he was an absolute delight but he whinged sooooooo much. Looking back I think I did amazingly, as I had a very tricky baby. But it was flipping hard. Was so jealous of people who could just ‘sit down’ with their baby on their knee. Mine seemed to need full on entertainment. Totally exhausting.
well done you for managing and I bet you are a fab mum. it’s nothing that you’ve done wrong. Take care )

Forgot to say, can’t remember when it got easier but it did at some point! It did completely put me off having another sadly. If it helps, he’s a very bright and sociable boy despite being a very difficult baby.

Those emergency foil blankets are deadly dangerous. Like letting them play with a carrier bag! Don't!

I used slings with my grumpy babies. They wanted full time attention and it stopped me from feeling tied down. I could go round the house or garden, getting things done and chatting away to them.

My first was chilled and my second was like this… was so worried having the third that they would be another high maintenance one (thankfully wasn’t!). They all have their own little characters and it is so tough when they never seem settled. My second is now a super chilled, very delightful 15 year old!

They do grow out of it eventually although I know it can feel like forever when you are living it. It’s so exhausting. Do you have any support so you can have a break sometimes?

Forgot to say, looking back I wish I hadn’t tried so hard in some areas. Eg I restricted his dummy sometimes as he got bit bigger but really I should have just kept it to make it easier. I also stressed myself out trying to do control crying and that just made me low and less able to cope with a demanding baby.
if there is anything that makes your day bit easier / less stressful do it!!!! Even if it’s not what you planned for parenting to look like.

DS was just like this. Things will improve once she starts being able to move under her own steam. Well, the whining will reduce - the trade off is that you’ll probably spend all your time chasing after her instead. I don’t know if she’ll ever be the kind of baby who is happy to entertain herself on a playmat (not if she’s anything like DS).

R u going to bed at 7?
If not put her to bed later, so u get a better sleep.

This is good advice!!

Thank you so much! I agree, it's good to remember it is a phase. I do exactly the same, today I moved her playmat into the kitchen and the change of scenery entertained her for a bit. You sound like you are doing really well.

Thank you so much for this. That makes sense and everything you said resonated with me. I'm checking out those blankets immediately, thank you for the tip!

I can't thank you enough for your encouraging words and for saying you think I'm a fab mum. Sometimes you need to hear that! My DH is great at saying it especially when I'm low and it gives me the boost I need to keep carrying on.

Thank you! I had been using the sling for all naps up until recently (she has only just started having naps in her cot) but she is a big girl and I've been reducing sling time because it was hurting my back. However given her current shenanigans it may be worth getting it out again...

Sorry this was aimed at @Hbradley . Also it is so good to hear how wonderful your DS is now. And good advice about not stressing out about stuff. I'm a typical Type A personality and one of the things I struggle with the most is not having control.

This was for @Redebs