Do you and your partner sleep in the same room?

[ftmquestions]

Since the birth of our baby 2 months ago my dp and I have slept in different rooms for the most part. He snores and I just don't sleep if I'm next to him. I'm breastfeeding and do all the nightly feeds/changes/settling etc. He has to work also. I don't mind this arrangement for now - I'm sleeping much better, but can't help feel it is unusual. Is it?

Does it matter what anyone else does, if you are both happy with it ?

I mean, it wouldn't be for me, but you say you don't mind, and you say you can't sleep if you are next to him.

We have always slept together but I can assure you, if I had a spare room, I would be in it more nights than not as I'm so drained from the very dramatic twitching, fighting for space on the edge of the bed and waking up freezing because he has wrapped himself in the duvet yet again 🤦‍♀️

Wouldn’t work for me but seems unusually common on MN.

With a 2 month old? No I don't think it's odd if you have the space. If you're still doing it when the baby's 2 years old and he hasn't attempted to help his snoring? Not so much.

Gosh, yes. Slept apart for nearly 15 years now, due to his snoring /my peri menopause sweats.

Prior to that , tried to share a marital bed, but one or other decamped to spare bed due to snoring.

Shared a bed for 15 years but post DD birth it all got difficult.

We were lucky enough to have a decent sized double other bedroom

We didn’t ever do this pre baby, but now with a 6 week old my husband is back at quite a busy and stressful job so he sleeps in the spare room Sunday - Thursday and back in our bed Friday and Saturday when he doesn’t need to be up the next day. It won’t be forever but I’m exclusively BF so this works for us until baby sleeps more than 2-3 hours at a time x

I know several happy couples that sleep separately longterm (i.e. over decades) due to intractable snoring so I don't think it's that unusual. Personally I much prefer having DH in bed though.

Nope. Happily married for 25 years. We happily sleep in different rooms. I can’t sleep with someone who snores like a warthog and he can’t sleep with someone who is in and out of bed all night.

Separate rooms are a must for us

No we sleep in the same room and always have except one night when he got a cob on and slept in the spare room.
Separate rooms to me is something that Mums used to whisper about other couples and kind of signified the beginning of the end. Do you go to bed separately? I guess we couldn't do rock paper scissors for who gets up in the night to the kids if we were in different rooms anyway

We sleep in separate rooms due to my husband’s snoring, and are lucky to have a nice spare room since dd left home. When we need to use that room we sleep in the same room & I wear ear plugs, but I don’t like to have to wear ear plugs every night.
Of course we sometimes go to bed separately- we’re not joined at the hip.

My DH snores really loud and has always slept in the spare room. I co sleep with our baby now too.

2 duvets, one for each of you.

My HV ( who was amazing) actually encouraged me and DH to sleep separately in the first 3 months to help our overall health and wellbeing.

When you have a baby you need to go into survival mode and do what's necessary to help your family unit get through it in the best way for all of you.

It worked for us .

We're 6 months in with our second and I co-sleep with baby in their room. We didn't do it for the first and I'd say we're happier this time round for accepting the realities of a small baby and adjusting for the most sleep for everyone all round. Hopefully it won't last forever!

I slept separately from dh when dds were born. He was as much use as a chocolate teapot during the night bfs, so it wasn’t worth the hassle being in the same room. IT’s continued from there, 13 years down the line. He snores, I’m an insomniac. It works for us.
If we’re on holiday, it doesn’t seem like a problem as I can sleep through anything. Probably my job at fault, but that’s another story.

We have a 2 month old too, we go to bed together then one of us will usually go to the spare room to get some more sleep. I don't think it's unusual with a newborn, do what works for you. We did it with my eldest too and once she started sleeping through we both slept in the same bed together all night again!

We had about a year of sleeping separately when DS was tiny for the same reason. It's fine if it works for you.

Loads of people have phases of sleeping separately and sleeping together, or permanently sleep separately. It’s not unusual at all. It’s especially not unusual when you have a small baby.

We slept separately for the first few months of DD's life. I can't actually remember when DH came back from the spare room.
Expecting our second later this year and will likely do the same again.

We have never done slept in different rooms but we also don't have that option.

I don’t know if it is unusual as such but if it works for you and you’re both happy then that’s all that matters.
Personally I can’t imagine not sharing a bed with DH. But that’s me and our relationship so it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter to you!

I do think it's common with such a young baby but I would set a goal of say 6 Months and baby in own room or your marriage will suffer.

not with dc1 but did with dc 2 as otherwise I’d be up all night feeding and then woken by a toddler at 5am. Trained ds to go to DH so I got a bit more sleep.

What nonsense - people can use whatever sleeping arrangements suit them for as long as it suits them.
Just because you sleep in different rooms doesn’t mean you don’t still have sex or other intimacy. You can always visit each others bedrooms which in some ways makes it more exciting.

Yours, maybe. You can’t speak for others.