Do you and your partner sleep in the same room?

[ftmquestions]

Since the birth of our baby 2 months ago my dp and I have slept in different rooms for the most part. He snores and I just don't sleep if I'm next to him. I'm breastfeeding and do all the nightly feeds/changes/settling etc. He has to work also. I don't mind this arrangement for now - I'm sleeping much better, but can't help feel it is unusual. Is it?

I've got a 4 month old and we sleep separately most of the time - mainly so my husband gets a solid block of sleep when he's working (he's a surgeon so we agreed this was really important).

I'm cosleeping with LO, so there's less space when he does join us. I do miss him though

We sleep together. Occasionally if our child is going through a rough patch with sleep, he'll sleep in the spare room with the baby monitor for a night so I can get a good night's sleep but that's only for really rough times. I'd much rather have him in bed beside me.

If your baby is only 2 months old then you're still in the trenches really with night feeds and changes so I don't think sleeping apart at this stage is too unusual.

I wouldn't stay with a DP who wanted to sleep in another bed.

Bed sharing is almost my favourite part of being in a relationship. It's the reason I put up with all the other crap.

I'd feel dead inside without a body to snuggle next to to fall asleep.

At the moment, no we don't sleep together because I'm recovering from surgery but when I've recovered we'll go back to sharing a bed

Totally agree with this!

“It's the reason I put up with all the other crap.“

what is “all the other crap”?

Congrats on the baby! I don't think it's unusual - DH would stay in the spare room if he was on an early shift the following morning/when he had man flu and was coughing etc. I was BF and was doing the night wake ups anyway. Completely with you on the snoring front, we'd always sleep better when he was in the other room 🤣. My friend had her baby a few months after me and they'd take it in turns staying downstairs so didn't sleep in the same room for a while either.

We're back in the same room now baby is old enough to be in own room (we've both moved into the spare bedroom for now because it's closer for any dummy runs) x

Yes, we always sleep together. My DH tried sleeping in a different room when DD1 was born but I felt abandoned and resentful, so it did not work for us.

However, if both of you are happy with it and it works well, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else does.

We currently don't as I snore and my husband needs a good night sleep! We're very happy though and both enjoy having our own space to sleep in. I would hate a partner who wanted to sleep in the same bed all the time, even more so one who wants to snuggle!

So everyone is different, just do what works for you.

(I do find it one of those topics that raise an eyebrow among a certain type though as if somehow sleeping in the same bed makes for a superior, happier couple!)

I couldn’t personally I love spending time with dh in bed and cuddling, we barely see each other all day and even though dd is breastfed sometimes she wakes for a cuddle or dummy rather than a feed so he helps that way. But it’s all personal preference and loads of couples in my NCT group sleep separately so as long as it works for you that’s all that matters.

I think it’s a mistake to assume that a couple that sleeps separately doesn’t spend any time in bed cuddling.