Child not invited to friends party

[Emma2503]

I found out yesterday morning that my 2.5yo’s nursery “bestie” is having a birthday party Saturday, I only know this as another mum asked me if I was going. Stunned I said no, we hadn’t been invited.
I asked the nursery staff if maybe the invite just hadn’t been passed on, nope.

I’ve taken it personally, whilst I definitely don’t think it’s my child, I can’t help but feel upset over it.

My OH told me to take her present to nursery and hand it to the parents and play dumb about the party, which I did, but I failed to mention anything about a party.

He thinks I should ask them if her invite got lost but I’m not the confrontation type, I am incredibly hurt for my child (who won’t remember anyway). Do I Just forget and move on?

Do I Just forget and move on?

yep

Move on. There will be other parties.

Just move on. They are 2.5 so have very limited concept of parties. If they end up in different schools your child will have no memory the child ever existed.

Forget about it.

Life with small children is full of birthday parties and your child won’t get invited to all of them. No one’s child goes to all of them, whether it’s numbers, cost, arbitrary preference on the day of writing invitations or because you’re just not their favourite.

It’s best to be fine with that from the start.

If it's only a nursery friend and you don't meet up at other times it's quite likely the other child's mum has no idea.
I definitely wouldn't take it personally.

Don’t make an issue of it; your DC won’t know so it won’t hurt them. I’d be encouraging other friendships as much as you can if this is the approach of the mum

Certainly don’t ask, unless u want everyone talking about u.
Get use to it, often parties have limited numbers, parents ask them who they want to go, and if they asked a different day the answer would be different.

Please don't take it personally. The child may only have been able to remember a couple of names if asked who they wanted to be there, or the parents invited the children of parents they already know or who they chat to the most at drop off or pick up. It could even be as simple as the nursery only hands out invites if every child in the class is invited and the parents couldn't deal with that many children so just handed out invites at random when you weren't around.

At 2.5yrs it’s very likely that the nursery children going have parents who are friends with the parents of the birthday child. That’s generally how birthday parties work for that sort of age range.

Yes, you just forget about it.

Presumably your DC is either 6 months older or younger than the birthday child, which is quite a gap at this age. Are you sure it’s a mutual “bestie” situation? My three year old swings between different “best friends” several times a week…..

I mean this kindly - she's only 2.5, she will really know no different, and at 2.5 how much of a party will it be? The experience won't be embedded in her memory- so don't sweat it.

Shake it off and think no more of it - you've got the whole of primary to get through yet. Plenty of opportunities to come.

Definitely forget and move on. Your DD is only 2.5 years old and once at primary school will receive plenty of invites.

There's no obligation to invite nursery friends. The other parents might not even know their child is friends with yours. At 2.5 years old they don't really have best friends. I didn't know half the children mine played with at nursery and would guess that these parents are inviting children that they meet up with outside of nursery or have just chatted to and gotten friendly with the parents more than you. I really doubt it was anything personal. At this age the parties are usually mostly family and the odd child from nursery.

Just ignore, don't give a present, move on.

At 2.5, parties are usually for whoever the parent's friends are and their kids.

Even if they are 'besties' now - they won't be as they get older.

Yes move on but I think it's fine to feel upset by this.

I definitely wouldn't get a present. Do you know the mum to chat to? At 2.5, the kid can't really list the guests she wants at the party, so likely the parents asked nursery and they've given a list and your daughter isn't on it? That's what we did when my daughter was 3.

Forget about it, maybe the parents asked the nursery who DC plays with, or they just asked a couple that live near the venue.

There will be LOADS of parties come Infants school, some you will or won’t be invited to. Just smile, as you’ll have parties with potentially parents wanting an invite for then, their siblings, friends over on the day who want to come etc.

Be the parent who smiles and accepts, you’ll get invited to more if you don’t blow up over things.

It could simply be your child is the wrong age.

My DD was invited to a nursery party due to when her birthday is, but couldn't go to an older child's birthday because she hadn't started school yet.

Then when my DD had her own 4 year old birthday party I just invited children by age. This means that some of younger children she plays with at nursery and CM's weren't invited as they needed to be 3 for the entertainer. While I knew the children at the CM's to invite, I just gave a date range to nursery.

Do the parents even know your child exists?

I remember in the nursery pick up queue a mum telling me how her child constantly talks about mine. I told her same how lovely etc.

In the car I asked DD about the kid and she was adamant that this child did not exist. Nursery did confirm the child existed.

It's more than likely an admin error nursery side, if all children apart from yours got the invite. How were the invites given? I asked my nursery to email ours but sometimes there are hand written ones out in bags...if it was an email maybe it went to junk. I don't know many of my child's mums and thought it'd be a good excuse to meet them and their kids xx

Don't take the child a gift to nursery

Talk about awkward

Ffs 2 year olds don’t have besties. I don’t know a single 2 year old who can sit down and make a guest list for a party or decide what they want. At this age it’s just a ritual organised by cliquey parents 🙄

Agree. Forget it.

At that age it'll be the parents friends invited. 2 year olds can't tell their parents who to invite. I'd let it go.

It's really passive aggressive to take the gift to nursery. You don't need to buy your child's 2 or 3 year old friend a present if not going to the party.