Child not invited to friends party

[Emma2503]

I found out yesterday morning that my 2.5yo’s nursery “bestie” is having a birthday party Saturday, I only know this as another mum asked me if I was going. Stunned I said no, we hadn’t been invited.
I asked the nursery staff if maybe the invite just hadn’t been passed on, nope.

I’ve taken it personally, whilst I definitely don’t think it’s my child, I can’t help but feel upset over it.

My OH told me to take her present to nursery and hand it to the parents and play dumb about the party, which I did, but I failed to mention anything about a party.

He thinks I should ask them if her invite got lost but I’m not the confrontation type, I am incredibly hurt for my child (who won’t remember anyway). Do I Just forget and move on?

You're putting adult emotions onto a 2.5 year old. They don't have best friends, they don't know about parties and they definitely don't care about missing out. If you moved your toddler to a different nursery tomorrow they probably would never even mention this "best" friends name ever again.

At that age parties are for parents friends and their kids. You have years ahead of you when kids have actual friends and worry about this kind of stuff. For now just chill out and don't take a present as it's clearly from you and not your child.

I do know how you feel. One of our antenatal group who I thought was a friend (been to each other’s houses) didn’t invite our 2yo. Park party so not even space issue.
Had all the other parents saying “See you there!” as they assumed we’d been included.
Rose above it and invited them to our party.
Life is full of odd bumps.

I’d be delighted that I hadn’t been invited. My two year old wouldn’t have a scooby anyway. I’m the type who walks into nursery, head down, chats with staff for the handover, then gets back to the car asap.

My H wants to invite nursery ‘friends’ and parents to his (the kid’s, not my H’s) next birthday and I really, just, cannot be arsed because then I’ll have to talk to them in the future 😬

I’m very sociable, I just really don’t want to ever get going on the school gate politics bollocks.

Oh, this is much worse than the OP. That’s really horrible to single you and your child out. 😟

This. Be grateful you were spared from the experience.

Sorry, slightly disagree here. My 2.5YO daughter talks about the same people constantly and most certainly knows who her bestie is - they spend all day together at nursery and we take them round to eachother's houses for play dates as they were asking 🤷🏼‍♀️ however, unless that's happening with the OP's daughter I would ask how she knows that they're "besties"

You will need to get used to this when they start school, they won’t get invited to every party every time. It can be easy to read more into though.

Yours might not, but all 3 of my girls found thier first long term best friends in nursery. First daughter they were like sisters until bestie moved away after 5 years, second is 7 and has the same bestie she had in nursery, third is 5 and met her bestie at nursery last year 🤷‍♀️

Calm down. It's not that important. I don't imagine your child even realises or understands.

I was worried I was the only type of person like this left in the world 🤣

I know you feel hurt on behalf of your child but let it go and move on. There will be a lot of this at nursery and school. Some parents will have parties and invite the whole class and others will have restricted numbers or just ‘best friends’ only. My youngest son, who to me had always seemed incredibly aloof and never mentioned anyone at nursery was invited to a party, we went and honestly he was treated like some sort of celebrity and everyone was like ‘oh my child is always talking about him etc etc’ I was flabbergasted so don’t read too much in to some of the interactions as they mean different things to different kids. I set the expectations with my children that if we are invited it’s wonderful but if we are not it’s absolutely fine too and doesn’t make us any less a friend. Also I am secretly pleased I don’t have to make small talk in bouncy castle village hall hell

Try not to sweat it
At 2.5yrs it's hard if the birthday child is turning 3 then it could be age thing as in minimum age of 3 for entertainment or activities if they are only turning 2 then they can not choose who to invite beyond family really so it would be the mums friends probably
If you want to foster this friendship then maybe chat to the mum see if you can go to park after pick up or something
These politics continue all through primary

My son is 11 now he's Autistic was in mainstream and NEVER and I mean NEVER got a party invite whole class would be invited bar him and the other little boy with Autism that's when it's hard when your child understands and you have to come up with an excuse
This thankfully changed as I got to know other parents and he then got asked to a couple of parties mainly the girls bit he didn't care he's now in specialist provision and goes to a lot 😀

St this age I wouldn't take it as a snub to you or your DC x

So when is it your DC's birthday? How many children are you inviting?

No need to hand over a gift and ask about the party LOL

Just move on from it and save yourself the money, time and stress.

I don’t know the right answer, but wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel and had the same reaction when this happened to my son. It’s a horrible feeling and you can deal with it however you feel fit - my approach was to just ignore it and let my son know he’s the greatest kid on earth and these things happen through no fault of our own (he’s 6 so was very aware of the situation). My kids have parties every year and we generally don’t invite the whole class (just besties and I generally verify this through school), so I suppose I can’t comment too much as I may have inadvertently done this to someone in the past as well - try not to worry and just know you’re not alone in this feeling 🥰

@Emma2503 did you check your junk mail?