Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Awkward moment at playground

47 replies

user01082312345 · 18/04/2023 19:39

It was nice weather so I brought my 2.5 year old son to the playground over the weekend to try and spend his energy, and there also wasn’t much to do in the house. I’m a bit of an introvert and still suffer bouts of anxiety when I’m out in public with DS so this was a big deal for me. It was pretty early on and the playground was mostly deserted. Things were going well and I was beginning to relax and enjoy being with DS when another family came along. They seemed nice (husband and wife with grandfather and their daughter who looked younger than my DS). My son was stood at the top of the slide and I was trying to persuade him to come down, but he wanted to go the other way, which is where the young girl was coming. It was kind of awkward because the girl and my son were just staring at each other for a while, and my son wouldn’t move despite my coaxing, and the father of the girl wasn’t budging. The young girl put her hand on the climbing frame to pull herself up, and I couldn’t believe it when DS went to stamp on her fingers! Then he tried to hit her. The girl’s father was behind her and called out, and I immediately picked DS up and dragged him away, he didn’t want to leave. Eventually I calmed him down and tried telling them that he has to share the playground with the other children, and he should never hit or stamp on others, but I’m still mortified by the incident and I never want to go back to the park again! The carers at DS' daycare all say he’s very well behaved, so I don’t get why he acts up when I’m with him! Also when he was on the swing, he would shout out “Go away!” to anyone who was passing. I’m limited in places I can bring my toddler and it’s so depressing just staying indoors all day doing activities with him. I feel ashamed saying I’m not enjoying the toddler years, and I just want DS to grow up so we can do more things together and I don’t have to worry about him throwing a tantrum or misbehaving in public 😓

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Rainallnight · 18/04/2023 19:43

Toddlers are really difficult. Often delightful. But also difficult. It’s in their job description.

It’s awful when your kid hurts another child but it sounds like you dealt with it appropriately by taking him away.

What do you mean when you say you’re limited in where you can take him?

Rakszasa · 18/04/2023 19:43

I wouldn't give a second thought about another todler misbehaving on playground as long as the parent tried to correct the behaviour. Which you did.

saveforthat · 18/04/2023 19:44

All toddlers misbehave in public. It's literally your job to keep patiently teaching him how to behave. Blimey wait till they are a teenager.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families General parenting

DeadbeatYoda · 18/04/2023 19:47

Heavens, I can see how this has upset you but he's 2.5, just figuring things out. Don't shy away from this, the solution is to bring him out more, get him used to feeling safe sharing the play park, I know that probably sounds like the last thing you want to do but it really is the best thing for him to develop the social skills he needs.
Firm but reassuring behaviour boundaries from you will help him learn. Please don't panic and drag him away. By all means remove him from the equipment if he is creating a problem for other children but don't run away. Stick it out, he'll learn. All the best

CharlotteDoyle · 18/04/2023 19:48

He's 2. They all misbehave at this age and are still learning how to share & play nicely with others. The playground is a good place to learn these lessons and it's sounds like you did all the right things. Don't let this one incident put you off. Keep enjoying the playground and guiding him - it's your job to teach and model these things to him.

Writeandroll · 18/04/2023 19:49

He doesn’t have the language or ability to express that he wanted her to move.

In this situation the father easily could have moved his kid to let yours down.

My DS, just older than yours is an Angel in nursery but has brought me to tears more than once in public! All part of the joys

Original poster

user01082312345 · 18/04/2023 19:51

Rainallnight · 18/04/2023 19:43

Toddlers are really difficult. Often delightful. But also difficult. It’s in their job description.

It’s awful when your kid hurts another child but it sounds like you dealt with it appropriately by taking him away.

What do you mean when you say you’re limited in where you can take him?

I don't drive, and my anxiety also limits me in bringing him to places such as restaurants/the shops/tourist attractions etc. If I'm with someone else then I can manage, but the thought of being out and about alone with DS always fills me with dread. At home, I'm fine, and I can have loads of fun with him, I love to give him lots of cuddles, read him stories etc. But when I observe other parents and how they handle their kids, I feel a bit clueless. I sometimes think I shouldn't have become a mother :(

OP posts:

Odile13 · 18/04/2023 19:53

This sounds totally normaL OP, don’t be hard on yourself! Just keep talking about sharing and removing him from the situation if it becomes necessary. Stuff like this happens to all of us - don’t let it keep you from going there again because it won’t do either of you any good. Good luck OP!

TheWayTheLightFalls · 18/04/2023 19:56

I wouldn't give a second thought about another todler misbehaving on playground as long as the parent tried to correct the behaviour. Which you did.

This

PragmaticWench · 18/04/2023 20:01

The best place for him to learn how to behave around other people...is around other people. If you stay at home and don't go out, he won't learn social skills easily.

Please don't worry about him behaving exactly as toddlers often do! As long as you gently correct him/stop him from hurting others, then you're doing just fine. It's parents who let their children hurt others and don't step in or say anything who are the problem.

LeftTheWashingOut · 18/04/2023 20:02

Don't worry about it OP. My three year old has done similar. He's very sweet and quiet but if another child takes he toy/get in his way he will happily shove them out the way. Most often this results in me telling him off/removing him and the victim breaking down in shock and making me feel terrible. I was quite pleased the other day as at a party he shoved one of his "friends" at nursery, and he got shoved back. Later the same thing happened but in reverse. I broke up the fight obviously and told them both off, but I was pleased he got a taste of his own medicine

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 18/04/2023 20:04

You probably need to go out more so that you can see how other people deal with their own kids. Can you go to softplay or something?

jannier · 18/04/2023 20:08

If you keep him away he will never learn, you will get more isolated and he will miss out on key developmental skills. He didn't do anything unusual for his age all of the children you see will have done similar and as long as parents step in Nobody cares.

WimpoleHat · 18/04/2023 20:12

It's parents who let their children hurt others and don't step in or say anything who are the problem.

Exactly. You removed swiftly him from the situation and told him not to do what he was doing. Good response.

lauraisa · 18/04/2023 20:17

Normal toddler behaviour. They are wild at that age! Don't even worry about it.

Newuser82 · 18/04/2023 20:21

Totally normal and you dealt with it perfectly! I know it's easier said than done but don't let it put you off other trips to the park or other places. It is a rare child who never misbehaves in public!

bloodywhitecat · 18/04/2023 20:37

You nailed it OP, he did wrong, you removed him and corrected him just like you should. Mine are adults now but both of them behaved in ways that were less than kind when they were a similar age to your little one so please try not to let it put you off taking him out.

Pebstk · 18/04/2023 20:40

He’s only a baby never worry

MummyJ36 · 18/04/2023 20:41

Oh OP I understand your humiliation (been there, got the t-shirt) but please don’t worry, toddlers can be little shits sometimes - even the best ones!! It doesn’t sound like the other family thought anything of it. Cut yourself some slack, there’s nothing you could have done. Toddlers are going to go rogue sometimes!! Don’t let it put you off going to the playground.

Snoozingagain · 18/04/2023 20:42

I don't judge when kids are like this, I judge when the parents do nothing about it. You did. I wouldn't give it another thought

Peapodburgundybouquet · 18/04/2023 20:47

How often do you manage to take him out? It sounds like, with your anxiety, he’s not used to getting out and mixing much.

Sausagerolex · 18/04/2023 20:47

Oh OP I really feel for you.

The behaviour of your DS was absolutely normal! Toddlers are a nightmare- so unpredictable too.

I have seen my kids pushed and kicked and stamped on by other toddlers as well as done the same themselves! So long as the parent/carer of the offender steps in and removes them (with an oh no that’s not kind type comment) no one will bat an eyelid honestly.

Please don’t be hard on yourself or him and don’t stop going out as that will not help either of you.

Is there a friendly local playgroup you could join? I tried lots until I found the right fit for me and it was a small one at the local church/village hall with a much older lady who ran it who was so supportive to the new young mums. I met some nice people I saw each week and we all looked out for each other kids etc. It was free play with various activities and a sandpit my kids loved then it would end with a biscuit and a little sing song. So comforting having little routines and seeing other children play really helped me understand how normal mine were even when they were acting up.

Having a toddler is hard work it really is- you sound such a lovely mum. Please make sure you are getting support and have friendly faces to see and kind words to hear.

autienotnaughti · 18/04/2023 20:54

My big toddler once pushed a little toddler over onto concrete. I was so upset. The only advice I can offer is try not to worry what others may or may not be thinking as long as you address the issue you are managing it.

moita · 18/04/2023 20:55

Honestly I would forget about it. You dealt with it really well but don't let this stop you taking him to the park. We all do things in the heat of the moment and he's still only a baby really.

IlIlI · 18/04/2023 20:56

Toddlers do things, parents teach them if it is not ok. They're learning, they'll sometimes do things you wouldn't expect, you teach boundaries and right/wrong so that they don't continue doing it when they're older.
I don't think most outsiders would give it a second thought unless you didn't correct them on it. You removed him from the situation and explained to him.

I say this as somebody who hasn't had to deal with terrible twos or anything like that (fully expecting it to come with a vengeance in teen years instead, you don't get lucky escapes twice!) And even then I have never given it a second thought if the parent dealt with it properly. I only really remember the ones who's parents sit there and do nothing or just follow them round feebly saying "that's not nice darling" and letting them continue.

Don't dwell on it.

Flip

1 2