Awkward moment at playground

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It was nice weather so I brought my 2.5 year old son to the playground over the weekend to try and spend his energy, and there also wasn’t much to do in the house. I’m a bit of an introvert and still suffer bouts of anxiety when I’m out in public with DS so this was a big deal for me. It was pretty early on and the playground was mostly deserted. Things were going well and I was beginning to relax and enjoy being with DS when another family came along. They seemed nice (husband and wife with grandfather and their daughter who looked younger than my DS). My son was stood at the top of the slide and I was trying to persuade him to come down, but he wanted to go the other way, which is where the young girl was coming. It was kind of awkward because the girl and my son were just staring at each other for a while, and my son wouldn’t move despite my coaxing, and the father of the girl wasn’t budging. The young girl put her hand on the climbing frame to pull herself up, and I couldn’t believe it when DS went to stamp on her fingers! Then he tried to hit her. The girl’s father was behind her and called out, and I immediately picked DS up and dragged him away, he didn’t want to leave. Eventually I calmed him down and tried telling them that he has to share the playground with the other children, and he should never hit or stamp on others, but I’m still mortified by the incident and I never want to go back to the park again! The carers at DS' daycare all say he’s very well behaved, so I don’t get why he acts up when I’m with him! Also when he was on the swing, he would shout out “Go away!” to anyone who was passing. I’m limited in places I can bring my toddler and it’s so depressing just staying indoors all day doing activities with him. I feel ashamed saying I’m not enjoying the toddler years, and I just want DS to grow up so we can do more things together and I don’t have to worry about him throwing a tantrum or misbehaving in public 😓

kids is kids 🤷🏼‍♀️
if your son did this to my child, as long as you stepped in (which you did) I wouldn’t care at all. It’s totally normal for toddlers to behave like maniacs! Try not to give it a second thought

you parented really well OP so do not worry! Toddlers can be real arseholes sometimes and its normal!
we love those bundle of snots, who stamp on hands and hit and throw. But as long as we parent them, guide them and give boundaries then its a win

do not feel bad!

Could your son be picking up on your anxiety about interacting with strangers when your out? Can you see a therapist to work through your anxieties so that you can enjoy your son and share new experiences with him?

You dealt with it fine - he misbehaved and was horrid to the little girl and hurt her, so he lost his fun and had to go home. Well done you! Keep that up, nip any bad behaviour in the bud straight away - he will soon get it.

The main thing is rhat you acted appropriately by taking him awaay and talking to him about his behaviour. It pisses me off more when parents don't parent and allow their child to act like this and saying nothing to them.

Sounds like a totally normal toddler interaction, and you were watching him and stepped in to stop him hurting the little girl. No need to be embarrassed, your DS is still so small and learning about the world.

Sounds like you are very fearful of being judged by other parents?

No one has it figured out believe me. Everyone’s just trying their best.

Please don’t let this put you off going out to the park again. If you don’t put him in situations like this where you can correct his behaviour, how will he learn?

Please don't stress about this. Totally normal toddler behaviour and you dealt with it well. I've lost count the amount of times I've had to "intervene" with 22 month DS.

I wouldn't worry about it. Toddlers can be hard work. You handled it really well and your DS is only 2. Don't stop taking him to the park.
When my DD was 3 years old. (She is 16 now) we were at my friend's house having lunch. I nipped to the bathroom while my friend was making a cup of tea and I thought my DD was sitting in the front room playing with a couple of small toys I bought round. It went really quiet and after around 5 minutes I walked into the living room to see my DD drawing on my friend's brand new carpet my friend had fitted 1 week before. She managed to reach a pen from the sideboard. I was mortified and rang my DH to say we need to replace the carpet. Thankfully the ink came out. I said to my DD, you must say sorry to my friend but she shock her head and stuck out her tongue. I took DD home and put her on the naughty step which did work.
Thankfully my friend saw the funny side and after all these years we giggle about it. She said my face was a picture at the time. I would of definitely replace the carpet even it I replace it with my own front room carpet. 😉

Agree with everyone else.

The only possible way I'd be judging you as a parent would be if you'd smiled and let him carry on stomping on her fingers or something equally weird. You did exactly the right thing and it shouldn't be awkward.

This is just me, but I always feel better if I can say something to find common ground with the other parent. So I'd say something like 'I'm so sorry - toddlers are terrifying!' or 'Gosh, it's all drama here today - is she ok?'. IME, almost always the other parent will respond kindly. And then you pay it forward next time you go to the park and someone else's child has a massive tantrum/throws sand at you/whatever.

Toddlers are tiny maniacs. It’s your job to call the shots.
What are you doing to work on improving your anxiety?
You may want to consider attending a parenting course to increase your confidence. You could maybe do one online if you don’t want to do an in person one.
Playgroups are another good way to make other parent friends and also to see other toddlers to see what your son did is pretty standard toddler behavior

Your DS sounds normal for 2. Your reaction sounds to have been pretty close to what I would have done, and many others. I only judge parents when they don’t show any interest in their kids or bother trying to correct hitting or ban behaviour (and even then I try to find some benefit of the doubt given there may be 1000 other things on their plate I don’t know about).

A suggestion, if you have them nearby, is church hall - based toddler and baby groups. They usually go on for a couple of hours, are a bit more “free range” than some of the commercial things, and give you a lovely space to help both you and him navigate the social stuff.

Literally this is the stuff of growing up. Talk to him about being kind to our friends, and sharing equipment and why you had to remove him. I’d rather my kid gets his head round kindness and friendship by reception than learns to count in 3 languages or reading war and peace!

Oh, and if you haven’t seen your GP and talked about meds, there are some good drugs now for anxiety and depression that help you feel more yourself. Good luck, you are doing fine and your son isn’t (from your description) a hooligan!

I completely agree with this

Totally normal situation that does not need you to overthink your actions as you did right by other toddler and parents too. Again, thinking that other parents are better at parenting is a sign of overthinking and you must not do that yourself, as it limits you in enjoyment of life. We’re all muddling through in our own ways the best we can and your best is the best your child can get and believe me it sounds pretty good even from your short post, so just don’t be your worst critic and go back to that park without giving a shit. I give you permission, we all give you permission, we’ve all been there and it’s ok.

You told him not to behave as such and corrected his behaviour. If you hadn't it would be completely different.
Try not to worry too much and imagine the same happening to another parent (it will).

OP. Please go to the park again and try and accept a tantrum. I got more and more restricted with my 2.5 year old. Largely because his behaviour is sooo challenging but also because of my own anxiety. He’s a pandemic baby, he has an older and younger sibling very close in age and I’m scared of managing all three is he kicks off.

Our kids are bright. They will realise the effect they have and push boundaries. He started screaming the second I pushed the pram into the grocery store. I was so distraught… now I couldn’t go shopping? Of course I had to go shopping. It took a while but I figured out ways to distract. At 2 and half they’re too young to really understand consequences. I would produce a rice cake at the first scream and he would take at least 5 mins to eat it. I would talk enthusiastically about what I was going to buy and what we would do next. He got use to going round the shops without screaming.

My point is. I only really started to work with him and teach him when I had to. He just needed teaching. Me avoiding going out because I was scared of his behaviour was actually making him worse. Our anxiety is not fair on our children. They need to learn from someone and you don’t want it to be from a someone outside of the home who doesn’t love them the way we do.

Normal although not desirable behaviour for a 2.5 year old. They don't know yet that that's "naughty". Just explain why it's wrong each time, all children will do this.

His behaviour was absolutely normal for a toddler, and you handled it perfectly.

If anything you should be feeling good about yourself. Please don't let this affect the way you live your life (and your tolddler lives his). He needs to get out and socialise and share play equipment with others. That's how he'll learn how to handle situations and get better at this stuff. You've got him off to a good start, so keep on going. Keep taking him places.

You are so thoughtful and so spot on. We can’t let our anxiety nor our toddlers dictate the pattern of what we ought to do. Getting into fresh air is good for all, period. So we do it because there is a pay off. It’s the reason we brush our teeth and breathe.

Toddlers sometimes just do really random things but still grow up to be nice kids. I remember talking to a mum at a toddler group whose dd went to the same nursery as dd and dd just suddenly pushed the girl over. I actually think she thought it would be hilarious and we'd all laugh about it. Obviously I told her off and she cried and I apologised. She's grown into a perfectly nice 16 year old!

Please enjoy your wee boy he's only small for a little bit. It's the easy bit when they are just finding there feet how to play with other friends and share if he's an only child of course he will be a bit selfish and it's normal for him to think it's his park and don't anyone else try to take it away from him. It's a learning experience for him he does something like that and looks to you to see if it's right or not. I wouldn't have taken him out of the park but I would have said say your sorry and come here he probably won't but the other parents know you know what he's doing is wrong. Then I would say this park is for all the boys and girls who want to play together. And let him go back and kept an eye on him. You sound a wee bit overwhelmed with him take a deep breath when things come up and calmly deal with it. You've got this really you do just don't give up. He won't be little for long and you will wish you had your time over again with him. Enjoy your wee boy. Good luck 🍀 with everything you need.