Hello, I'm really struggling with my children & wondered if anybody has any suggestions or just some solidarity as I feel very alone with this.
They are 9 & 6 & argue constantly.
Days out are really difficult, I have a problem with my feet at the moment so we are using the bus & they argue about where to sit, who's turn it is to sit on the edge, who will sit by themselves, who is allowed to sing, who is allowed to whistle, who is allowed to play driving, who is allowed to look out of the window, who is allowed to have a teddy on the seat, the other one is looking at them, who's turn it is to press the bell, & it just goes on.
They both shout & if I leave them to it then they literally end up screaming in each others faces then the older one wants his space & the younger one is crying & they are both still SCREAMING about what the other one did.
Everywhere we go they are like this. In shops, cinema, museum, swimming, parks are really bad because the older one in particular, really likes to play with the younger one but they can't agree on what/how to play.
I have support workers etc involved as my oldest is awaiting a ND assessment but they just suggest things like separate them & say we all spend too much time together. I've done every parenting course that's available & we did a family therapy group but they'd behave lovely in there & before we even left the building they'd be arguing.
We can't really have time apart as they don't see their dad much but I take them separately for days out etc every now & then when he is willing to help with the other one but day to day, when theres just me, if we spend too much time together then what am I supposed to do?
I've taken things away, they've lost days out, lost TV etc but none of that makes the slightest difference.
If I try to speak to people in RL they say all siblings bicker, which I know, or they wouldn't let their kids behave like that.
I don't want my kids to behave like this, I feel very isolated. We can't stay in all the time as they both do better when they've been out burning off energy & at home it's just the same as wherever one plays, the other wants to be or it's constant 'Hes looking at me/making faces at me/I can't hear him singing/I wanted to play with that' etc.
I do one playing upstairs & one downstairs etc but it's just not working & I don't want them to never be able to be near each other either!
I feel like an absolute failure tbh. I feel utterly useless & that I've raised nasty, spoiled children but I just don't know how to fix it.