Giving up breastfeeding

[chho]

I planned to give up BF when my daughter turned 1, which she did last week. My reasons for giving up are 1) she wakes me up at least 5 times a night for boob but really just uses me as a dummy and 2) because she's now getting teeth and also using me as a teething ring. I only work Monday-Wednesday but I've booked next week off so that I have a good chunk of time to completely wean her off, and also because I am expecting some sleepless nights.

I thought these were good reasons to stop but now I just feel really sad and guilty at the thought of it. The only way I've ever got her to sleep is by BF and I can't help but feel this is gonna be so tricky.

Not really sure what I'm asking, but any advice and positive stories would be appreciated.

Best of luck. Emotions are really linked to hormones here too so expect to be teary for a few weeks. I have read to do it very gradually one feed at a time if you're stopping because you want to, rather than baby does or on medical advice etc.

My positive story is that I started giving teething toys, frozen muslins etc 20 mins before feeds and it stopped the biting completely. I found that from about 14 months my first was happy to be settled back to sleep by Daddy so she self weaned at night. I'm still happily feeding her now at almost two. She hasn't asked for milk at night more than twice in the last 8 months.

@Flittingaboutagain Thank you for your reply Yes I've heard stopping can cause low moods/ depression so looking forward to that not. I'm a single mum so no one to get her back to sleep unfortunately. My hope is that once she's off the boob she will sleep better at night. That's a good idea re teething rings before feeding!

You are not alone currently in the same boat. Feeling sad about it to but it's for the best.

At the moment all I'm doing is attempting a bottle of cows milk and some breakfast in the morning and then a little bit of breast milk. Some mornings it works other mornings my baby just cries for a breastfeed and then I've been taking mine out ALL DAY, park, shops, having friends over, going to friends houses, soft play etc and seems to keep mine too busy to beg for breast milk and happily drinks water/cows milk in the daytime. Then at tea time offer food which seems to go down well and then a little breast milk afterwards before sleep.

I don't know how often yours is feeding on the boob but mine would feed on all day if they had their way 🤦🏽‍♀️

Going to keep this up for another week or two and then only do the morning feed as little one seems more bothered about that one and then slowly reduce the length

Firstly, you're not 'giving up' you're simply bringing your journey to an end, and that is fine. You've done amazing to make it to a year so huge well done!

My LO stopped on his own at age 16 months. I was sad but it was good it was his decision.

For your own mental health, it sounds like reasonable time to wind things up.

You will feel lots of emotions but guilt should not be one of them.

I don't recommend introducing a dummy as that's another thing alog the line you'll have to remove.

The waking up 5 times a night must be brutal!

Also should have mentioned try a banana/rusk/porridge/weetabix/oatabix right before bed to try and fill babies tummy before sleep and hopefully get a better nights rest for you both

I've just finished BF my son who's 2.5 - never intended to BF for so long but he was a terrible sleeper and it was the only way I knew how to get him back to sleep quickly. I did find that his night wakings did improve on their own without weaning him, and was warned that by weaning him I might just be removing the most useful tool I have to get him back to sleep. That worried me more than the thought of continuing to BF so I pressed on. I became pregnant not long after he turned 2, and when I explained to him that we needed to save the milk for the baby, he miraculously accepted that and over a couple of weeks his feeds reduced until they stopped completely. No tears. He now wakes once, maybe twice a night, sometimes sleeps through. It was a long road and there were times when I was really close to stopping as I was finding it too much - but overall I have no regrets - BF is genuinely a super useful tool into toddlerhood. It's such a personal decision and what's right for one person won't be right for another, but just wanted to share my experience. Emma Pickett on Instagram is a lactation consultant and specialises in ending BF - her Insta is very useful and has lots of tips.

@quietnightmare that's good advice thank you! I'm quite lucky in that I could go all day without her wanting boob, for us it's just a nighttime thing. She literally thinks I'm her dummy. So I have no idea how I'm gonna get her to sleep, I'm guessing I'm gonna be standing up half asleep rocking her to sleep all night. Good luck to you!

@Dinoswearunderpants thank you! 5 times really is a good night, it's usually every 30 mins to an hour. She hasn't been very well recently which hasn't helped I must admit. I agree re dummy, my childminder thinks it will help but I just think that defeats the object.

As I type this my 8 months old is sleeping on me after my first ever attempt to get her to sleep without the boob. I was expecting it to be hard but actually after three mins of grizzling she just closed her eyes and was off, so I'd suggest just going in with an optimistic attitude and hoping for the best.

I intended to give up breastfeeding completely by about now but I never got her on a bottle so it'll take a bit longer. She's now taking formula from a cup though, so hopefully soon!

Best of luck and really hope you can get more restful nights soon!

@ireneadler101 you've just highlighting my worries about stopping. It is very useful especially when she's upset/ tired. I think if I didn't work I would press on but the lack of sleep and then having to get up and go to work is getting on top of me. Thank you for replying.

@CoalCraft wow, well done! Good luck to you.

Following! I want to wean at a year but because dairy sensitivity runs in the family I'd like to try a plant based milk. Anyone have any opinions? From what I can find out oat seems to be the most recommended. DC1 drinks almond but had formula from 6 months which I'd like to avoid this time around.

@MollyRover no advice but I also thought about oat milk as my daughter gets eczema and the cause is unsure but could be dairy. But I'm gonna try her on cows milk and see what happens.

In same boat. I have a 14 month old who is a pretty terrible sleeper but self settles at bed and for naps but still wakes in night and is a fan of the split night. BF only thing to help these long awake periods at 4:30am! She has "toddler diarrhoea" so I cut out dairy and it's much better now. She loves the oat based alpro growing up milk. It's expensive but well fortified. She's currently got a chest infection and she's due her 1 year injections in two weeks (postponed a few times due to illnesses) so I plan to stop after that.
My first was easy! She slept through the night from 10 months and self weaned from breastfeeding at 11 months. She guzzled formula from a straw cup and didn't ever want feeds in the night from 10 months. This one is a tricky trickster

Can't get the follow on type where I am, is the normal one ok to use do you think? Plant milks are generally fortified anyway, what would the difference be?

This milk has iron in it too. Others don't but have vitamin D and calcium

OP, can I please ask as a fellow mum in exactly the same boat with no friends who BF to ask...

When she's on the boob at night, I know you say she's using you as a dummy but does she actually take a feed every time she latches on even if it's only small?

Following with interest. My DD is 9 months and now we've decided to go ahead and try for another when she turns one, I'm planning on ending our BF journey around then, and wondering how to taper off slowly. She's still very much a boob monster atm, though she eats solids well, and other than one dream feed at 10ish, she sleeps 7-7. We've also got a possible dairy sensitivity to consider too.

I'm sad about the end being on the horizon but I suspect I'll really need to preserve my energy if I get pregnant again, and I think it might be too much change to wean her at the same time as preparing her for a sibling. I deffo don't want to be feeding both a newborn and a toddler at the same time, though hats off to women who do!

@username210574 it's hard to tell to be honest... maybe a little bit yes but can't be sure.

What you've said is totally understandable - giving up breastfeeding is both a relief and super sad, I remember feeling both when I stopped breastfeeding my daughter. I had the same plan of stopping when she was one year old but actually ended up stopping at 8.5 months for the exact reasons you listed - 1) she was still waking up multiple times in the night to feed and I knew she wasn't really hungry, just using me to sooth herself and 2) teeth! It was being bitten awake one morning that decided it for me, it hurt sooo much and at that point she had never EVER slept through the night so it was 8.5 months of not a single nights sleep and I had had enough. I decided to sleep train, knowing that feeding to sleep was the only thing that had worked before, I knew it was the night time feeds that were the most important part to work on. I have never looked back! It was the best decision I made both for her and myself, she now sleeps through the night and is as happy as ever. I sometimes wonder if I should have done it sooner but then think it was just the right time, I think you know when you know x

Oh my goodness. You have a dream baby 7-7 with a dreamfeed. I am so jealous.

I stopping night feeding DD2 at 2 years by having her co-sleep with DH for 6 weeks.

Totally fine if you want to wean totally, but if you are feeling sad, would you consider just night weaning and keeping a snuggly prebedtime and morning feed? I kept those two for a good sixth months after Id dropped all other feeds with my eldest and with my twins I've still kept those 2 feeds for aaaaaaaages after all the others have gone. As long as there's a bit of a gap between feed and sleep, it should still improve the night waking.

Hats off to you for feeding as a single mum.

PP planning on a pregnancy. Your milk will dry up during pregnancy then return as colostrum. So you can let your body wean for you. I'm tandem feeding as my toddler wanted to carry on and I was happy to. But could be a good solution for you.

So do you actually want to stop BFing, or do you just want to sort out the sleep issues? The two things don't necessarily go hand in hand, so solving one problem doesn't mean you have to stop if you don't want to.

We had the same sleep issues and I night weaned. Basically make feeding the very last thing you try. Throw white noise on and slow, gentle pats - even rocking up and down. Anything to avoid feeding.

Success with this at 8 months, and we carried on feeding until his birthday with no further sleep issues.

If you do want to stop altogether, I would advise night weaning for a week or two and then drop the final feed(s) when your supply has adjusted.

All the best