Do you regret having children at 40

[lillie23]

I've just been reading an article this morning about how a mother regretted having her child when she was 40. The child is now 15 and she 55, and she is saying how hard it is and she really regrets having her at that age.

I had my second at 39 and at times I do think what have I done now the oldest is a bit more independent. But is it really that bad when they become teenagers and your over 50. Trying to look for some positive stories as even some of my close family are negative about having children later on and it's so annoying.

No regrets but bloody nackered. I'm exhausted and burnt out and dealing with the menopause whilst raising a 7 and 8 year old. I'm 51.

I had DS when I was almost 42. I was able to retire just as he really needed more supervision as a late teen. Everyone says to stay home with them when they are little, but I thought the dangers of bad decision-making increased as he got older.

My nan had 5 kids with a 21 year age gap. She had her youngest at 46 unexpectedly and this auntie was bullied from entering primary to dropping out of school at 16 with barely any qualifications. I think this bit was more her personality than the age of her mum. "You've got a nan for a mum" was what was chanted at her. Her dad died when she was 25 and her mum when she was 40. She had her own kids at 18 and 20 in rebellion which did mean she got to raise her kids whilst her parents were still around. They were the tough bits

The good bits she had 3 protective big brothers to call on for help. My dad the oldest was a surrogate father and was always there to pick up the pieces when she had a fall out with her parents. She had a big sister who she could also call on for support. She falls in between me and my older sister in age and she used to spend a lot of time with us when we were little and we were more like cousins. I think this was also part of where there was a trouble between my auntie and nan. My nan was in grandparent mode and your child needs you to be a parent.

My auntie found love with a guy who was raised by his gran and I think that did help her find her place in the world.

Raising kids at 16 is different to 25 is different to 33 is different to 41. There are bits that are easier and bits that are harder. Acknowledging the bits that might make things different and mitigating against them whilst celebrating the positives. There will also be the complete unknown at that is the temperament of the child and the children around them

Do you ever feel guilty that your 20 year old couldn’t get the best of you?

There are going to be challenges, and joys whatever age you have a child.
But for me, my parents were older for the 1970’s, 38 and 48 and unfortunately they were both dead before I was 24, so I didn’t want to be over 30 when i had kids.
I think its also a bit sad that if everyone waits till their 40, grandparents, which sadly my kids haven’t known, will not be a part of grandchildren’s lives, or at least not for long and probably not in good health at 80 plus.