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Parenting

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Original poster

Naughty step for 2yo?

49 replies

Flipflopwop · 08/04/2023 21:22

DS is turning 2 soon. Wondering about introducing the naughty step with an egg timer as boundary pushing is getting worse. Is this appropriate?

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Set a reminder

GrazingSheep · 08/04/2023 21:23

Will he understand do you think ?

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/04/2023 21:25

Why though? I’ve never done a naughty step, it’s banishing a child for expressing challenging behaviour making them feel even more out of control and at 2 they probably won’t really understand anyway.

It’s not a natural consequence related to any specific behaviour, it’s a punishment and not one that’ll help prevent similar behaviour in future.

WordtoYoMumma · 08/04/2023 21:26

No.i don't think the naughty step is ever appropriate to be honest. And I would question if a 2yr old would understand.

But I was never a fan of punishment

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mynameiscalypso · 08/04/2023 21:27

Nope. You can hold firm boundaries without resorting to the naughty step.

BettyBoopy · 08/04/2023 21:28

No. That approach is an outdated concept and doesn't work. A 2 year old is learning about how the world works and is developing independence which involves testing boundaries, you can have boundaries without punishments such as time out.

TheWonderfulThingAboutTiggers · 08/04/2023 21:28

Not sure what you hope to achieve tbh. I don't think a "naughty step" is a good idea. Will just make him resent you/battle of wills.

Might be better if you say what areas you are finding challenging and where you think he's being "naughty" amd see if we can suggest anything?

Getthefiregoing · 08/04/2023 21:28

I don't like it at all but certainly not at just turned 2. He doesn't have the capacity to understand so it's pointless. It will just end up being stressful for you and upsetting for him.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/04/2023 21:30

Btw “boundary pushing” is completely age appropriate in a one year old. Do you think it isn’t?

Skinnermarink · 08/04/2023 21:30

totally pointless ! How are you going to make a two year old even sit on the naughty step let alone understand why they have to.

Original poster

Flipflopwop · 08/04/2023 21:30

Thanks everyone. I'm considering all options, I currently use explanation, redirect and divert but daycare uses naughty step/ time out chair?

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Oatsamazing · 08/04/2023 21:31

I would suggest reading The Book you wished your parents had read by Phillipa Perry, ive found it helpful amd also have a 2yo. Naughty step/time outs seem to cause more problems from my own research.

pinkunicorns54 · 08/04/2023 21:32

Can you reward positive behaviour instead of punishing negative?

mynameiscalypso · 08/04/2023 21:33

Flipflopwop · 08/04/2023 21:30

Thanks everyone. I'm considering all options, I currently use explanation, redirect and divert but daycare uses naughty step/ time out chair?

I have made it clear to nursery that they are not to use the naughty step or time outs with my DS. Which they are totally fine with.

TheWonderfulThingAboutTiggers · 08/04/2023 21:33

Wow do they? Ours didn't 10 years ago as it was outdated!

VivaVivaa · 08/04/2023 21:33

Flipflopwop · 08/04/2023 21:30

Thanks everyone. I'm considering all options, I currently use explanation, redirect and divert but daycare uses naughty step/ time out chair?

Are you in the UK? I’ve never come across naughty step for 1 and 2 year olds here.

NannyR · 08/04/2023 21:34

I don't use time out or the naughty step for any age of child, it's definitely not appropriate for children of that age and I would be questioning why a nursery are using it for disciplining children so young.

Original poster

Flipflopwop · 08/04/2023 21:35

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N4ish · 08/04/2023 21:35

No, very old fashioned and discredited approach. I found Laura Markham’s advice helpful when I had a 2 year old.

PullingAtTeeth · 08/04/2023 21:36

I’ll go against the grain here and say I use the naughty step for my 22 month old. If he doesn’t stop doing something unacceptable such as hitting his sibling or climbing up on the kitchen table etc… so I ask him firmly to stop and try to re direct him. If he does it again I say to him if you do that again we go to the naughty step. If he does it again I carry him to the bottom step and put a timer on for one minute. I sit him firmly on my knee and don’t talk to him. When the timer beeps I say we can go back now but if you eg.climb on the table again we will come back to the naughty step.
he knows exactly what I’m saying and it definitely works.
Before he would just laugh when I told him not to do something and carry on doing it anyway then it would turn into a battle of wills with me constantly removing him and trying to distract and him constantly going back to do the naughty thing!

Original poster

Flipflopwop · 08/04/2023 21:36

@mynameiscalypso can you be sure they are true to their word, like how would you know that they didn't do this?

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iminvestednow · 08/04/2023 21:36

You don’t need a naughty step, when they do bad stuff tell them no, don’t do that, your behaviour really upsets me (make sure you stop them doing the bad thing). Ignore any resulting tantrum. When they stop and start ‘normal’ behaviour, chat and praise, communicate how well they got over said struggle.

PullingAtTeeth · 08/04/2023 21:38

Also our nursery used a time out mat and my older two children haven’t been scarred by it!

mynameiscalypso · 08/04/2023 21:38

Flipflopwop · 08/04/2023 21:36

@mynameiscalypso can you be sure they are true to their word, like how would you know that they didn't do this?

Well, I trust them, that's it really. When they reported that DS did something 'naughty', I asked them how they dealt with it and was satisfied with their response. I don't think they have the time or energy to come up with elaborate cover stories.

wtftodo · 08/04/2023 21:39

Honestly OP, while I know each to their own etc at home, I would be looking for a new daycare. Of all the friends I know who’ve used U.K. nurseries just one had a nursery which used a naughty step. It’s bad practice in childcare settings. Do your research for your own home, but at nursery they should be using best practice.

Original poster

Flipflopwop · 08/04/2023 21:41

@PullingAtTeeth interesting 🙂 I was smacked as a child, not often but when needed...I wouldn't sat I'm scarred either?

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