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Original poster

Do you work full time with a baby? :(

63 replies

FlavouredWaterTastesGrim · 03/04/2023 11:23

I have a 10 month old DD, I was on maternity leave until she was 6 months and then I went back for 1 day a week. I knew it would only be temporary working part time but I have loved it.

Finances now mean that I need to go back to work full time and I've secured a new job, with great prospects, better pay but obviously more hours and 1 day a week will be travelling.

I'm so nervous at the prospect of the big jump. I'm scared I'll miss DD so much it hurts and I feel guilty for leaving her. How will I get the housework done? How will I do all the washing? How will I make time for DD? :(

Any reassurance or tips will be welcome. Please don't judge, I know she's tiny but if I don't go back to work full time then finances are going to be really tight. I don't want her to miss out on swimming lessons and baby groups etc.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Goldbar · 04/04/2023 13:54

If your husband is useless at housework, he needs to practice so he gets better at it. It's not brain surgery.

Good luck.

Shrewsdoodle · 04/04/2023 13:58

I went back full time when my DS was 10 months. It was an adjustment finding enough hours in the day, but otherwise it's been fine. He loved his nursery and days with grandparents, and we have a good routine now he's 2. I'm a very disorganised person but have managed. I enjoy my job so I don't spend all day missing my DS, the first few days were a wrench then i got used to it as I know he's happy in my absence. We have fun at the weekends!

Antiquiteas · 04/04/2023 14:15

Ignore the guilt trip bollocks on here.

I went back at three months. My kids loves me, I retained my sanity and we can afford to have nice things.

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HadEnoughOfBears · 04/04/2023 16:32

Ttbhappy · 03/04/2023 21:08

Babies love to have their mums with them for the majority of time so if you can hold off.

No. Babies need to be fed, dry & loved.

blebbleb · 04/04/2023 23:28

Ignore some of the posts on here. Your child will love you just as much if you work and you will still have a great bond. I'm sure most dads aren't made to feel guilty like this when they work?

Ndhdiwntbsivnwg · 05/04/2023 00:59

You will find time for everything, we mums are magical almost 😊
You also need to stop the mum-guilt cuz’ it’ll only get worse. You are doing the best for your family. SAHM is boring anyways 😄 You’ll be fine, just breathe and know you are doing your best

SophieBu · 05/04/2023 07:44

I’m back full time and my DD is 10 months tomorrow. I bulk cook to make evenings quicker and myself and my partner try and get cleaning done when she goes to bed but we will be getting a cleaner once we move. I then make sure that weekends are more precious. We go swimming, we have found baby/ toddler classes at the weekend, we go to the park, sea life, the zoo. I just try and make sure my time with her as special as possible. It ends up being very very busy but it works and then every few weeks when I need downtime or a deep clean or bulk cook again, my partner takes her out for one of the days at the weekend.

SophieBu · 05/04/2023 07:47

Also babies develop so much in confidence etc at nursery so you will soon find she loves it there and it will help her so much!
Then when you pick her up she will give you the best cuddles.
Congratulations on your new job, your DD will grow up to be so proud of her mum and really look up to you!

Notamum12345577 · 02/07/2023 16:46

Twizbe · 03/04/2023 20:09

I went back to work full time when my oldest was 13 months.

The main thing is your DH has to pull his weight. Split drop offs and pick ups. This meant we both had 2 days a week we could stay late if required.

You split sick days. No one's job is more important and you make sure to take it in turns.

Split the chores. If one of you can wfh one day a week do it. I used to do the washing that day and do the food shop between dropping DS at nursery and starting work.

Hire as much help as you can. We had a cleaner.

We both did as many chores as we could between DS' bed time and ours in order to keep weekends free.

I totally agree sick days should be split. However, in some jobs it is more ‘acceptable’ for the mum to take a day off than a dad. I’m not saying that is right at all. My wife didn’t work outside the home for years, she got a part time job and the day she was due to start our child was ill and couldn’t go to school. I told her that I would take the day off, my boss was not happy. It has never come up before like this situation because of my wife being a SAHM. In the end we ended up leaving our child with our pregnant SIL. I did make it clear to my boss when I got to work that how he acted was unacceptable to me!

Mrsmch123 · 02/07/2023 17:18

I only went back part time as I hated the idea of leaving him. I had 13 months off with mat leave and annual leave. He's 2 and I'm still part time. 2 12hr shifts. I hate those days still. We could get by on my husbands wage but we wouldn't have much left over for "the nice stuff" in life. Once he gets to primary age I will go for a mon-Fri 8-4 job. I would try and condense as many hours as you can into the least amount of days. Everyone said to me aww you will enjoy the adult company of being back at work but tbh I would rather be with my kid🙈I'm not financially vulnerable and part time works for us as a family.

Orangello · 02/07/2023 17:25

He does all the gardening so it's probably equal to be fair

Unless you're talking about an actual farm, no way is maintaining a standard sized garden anything even close to daily housework and childcare. Why do you accept your DH does well, nothing? Doesn't clean? He'd better learn. He would get home at 2 and just sit on his backside waiting for you to get home to cook and clean??

G5000 · 02/07/2023 17:30

However, in some jobs it is more ‘acceptable’ for the mum to take a day off than a dad.

Oh absolutely. I've seen threads on MN where it's totally fine for mum to work flexibly and take days off, but not dad, for the same exact job. This won't change before more dads start doing it though.

Notamum12345577 · 02/07/2023 17:32

G5000 · 02/07/2023 17:30

However, in some jobs it is more ‘acceptable’ for the mum to take a day off than a dad.

Oh absolutely. I've seen threads on MN where it's totally fine for mum to work flexibly and take days off, but not dad, for the same exact job. This won't change before more dads start doing it though.

Agreed 👍

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