Invited to a wedding without toddler

[GHxx]

My husband and I have been invited to a family wedding in April but it’s obviously a child-free wedding (fair enough) as our toddler hasn’t been asked. It’s far away from where we live so would mean we’d need to stay overnight or drive 2 hours home. All of my family are attending and we don’t have any local family on my husband’s side we could ask to babysit. If he was older I’d probably ask a friend with kids if he could stay over at theirs but I don’t feel I can ask a friend to come to our house when it’s all day and all night. I’ve looked into an agency nanny, even if I was to drive home but he’d just meet them for the first time on the day and I think he would very confused. I’d also feel a bit weird about someone putting him to bed or giving him a bath when it’s just a random person, although I know they’re obviously ‘safe’ 🤦🏼‍♀️ Do you think my husband not going is the only other option? I would have paid for the nanny in advance but they said they can’t guarantee they’d have the same one available twice so might not even be the same person

Was actually meant to quote @Greentree1 not you @PippaF2. Soz!

go on your own! I went to my own sisters wedding by myself left husband and 1 year old at home! I had a bloody brilliant time proper relaxed and had a lovely lie in the next day

Do any of your family also have young children?
If you have a sibling or cousin in the same position, could both family units book into the same hotel and then DH and the other relation's partner take it in turns to babysit for half the time each while the family members attend the whole thing? (Clearly, you put all the children to bed in one room and then move one back with their parents when the event is over - or book a holiday cottage or apartment.)

@SnowdaySewday there isn’t that much family on our side (ours is the only child) but I know there are lots of kids they are related to so I don’t know for definite it’s even child-free, could be they have invited some but not others but there’s no one I could ask in advance as I don’t know any of the parents. If kids were invited I would have taken him to the hotel, he would have been out with my husband for the ceremony and speeches as we’ve done at previous weddings as we didn’t want to risk him being the one child who made a noise, then could have put him down to sleep at night in the room and taken it in turns to sit in the room with him. I feel like I can’t really take him to the hotel where the wedding is to take it in turns to watch him in the room as I feel like if it’s child free he can’t be there at all or it’s a bit awkward if he is and I’m feeling like I need to keep him hidden

An hour and a half isn't far at all - some people commute that far! If DH wants to go the wedding I'd get him to ask his family about babysitting.

My brother did this with my son (his nephew) my family all going to the wedding and no one else to look after bf ds.

Ha ha my husband would be thrilled not to go!

Just go on your own or don't go at all - it is that simple.

If there is a hotel near by that you could both go and have a nanny there look after your child there, go to the park or whatever and put them to bed in the hotel and wait for you to come back we did this before as it was my sisters wedding and couldn't miss it.

Other option is hotel near by and you all do two hours each between your parents your husband and you which is a bit crap but an option

Only one of you go

Both go get a hotel near by and only one attends the wedding and then all sleep at the hotel together

I'd just skip this wedding - I'm sure they'll understand as it's a risk that comes with having a child-free wedding

The only other option would be to use a private nanny with all relevant paperwork, but it may be a bit too short call to establish a good relationship between yourself, your child and the nanny

Go on your own and have fun with your family. DH can stay at home with your child.

I had my children at family weddings and it's ok but went to a wedding child free last weekend and yes, so much more fun! X

I won't go.
If they want a child free wedding then they will loose some of the guests with children.
Attending at the wedding should be fun! If you leave the toddler alone with a safe but "stranger" babysitter I guarantee you won't have fun. So I don't see the point.
Also, when did weddings start to be like the inauguration? Child free wedding? Are they scared that the child will make a noise? The couple needs to care more about people be able to attend than the idea of a formal, serious wedding. Which will be boring in my opinion so definitely won't go.

The answer is staring you in the face. Your DH is not a big wedding fan, he's not going to feel as if he's missing out, she just go by yourself.

I would have thought it was the ideal opportunity to ask the other set of grandparents to babysit. Unless there is a health backstory, they may be delighted to to do this and feel to awkward to ask in case they feel discarded compared to your parents as the preferred babysitting option. If they refuse, then make your decisions accordingly.

Go by yourself and leave DH home with Toddler

This wedding is your family as well by the sound of it. I would suggest the same but with roles reversed if it was your DHs family too though.

Why are some posters suggesting OP doesn't go? Is it in some sort of act of defiance that their child isn't invited? Or is it because they wouldn't want to go without their husband? Or is it that they wouldn't want to leave their child with their father?

I think this is what I’m going to do as it’s the only way I can see that everyone would feel comfortable and I wouldn’t be worrying

It’s because I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than go to a wedding so it’s a great excuse not to go!

unless It is a sibling or a parent, just decline the invite and send them a nice card and gift.

you also don’t know that the nanny they send will be safe. It is a random person that you have never met and the agency can only do so much to vet. Just because someone comes from an agency doesn’t mean they are actually trustworthy with your child.

Weddings are a huge drag anyway, just decline and save yourself all the hassle!

Great Stuff

Enjoy the Day.

I wouldn't go, it's a great excuse to save yourself a ton of money on a weekend celebrating someone else.
I'd love an excuse to get out of a family wedding we have to attend this year. My husbands attitude is it's family we should go. My attitude is it will cost a fortune to get new outfits, presents, drinks etc for a family member he has no relationship with! 😩

Personally I'd decline. It's all too complicated.

What is complicated? Ds and dh stay home, OP goes to the wedding with her family. Very simple. No childcare to sort, likely can hop in a family members car so no driving

Easy.

Eh?