Bad dreams about daughter

[Randomgirl12]

This is going to sound so awful but I don’t know what to do anymore and I can’t express these feelings to anyone.

My DD is 4 and has ASD and is non verbal. I had postnatal depression when she was born and didn’t feel I bonded with her.
She was a happy, bubbly little girl until she had a huge regression at 18 months and became this completely different child. She was diagnosed with autism aged 2 and a half.

I’m to the point where I just can’t cope. I don’t feel like a mother to her. When she got her diagnosis, I retreated into my shell for months. I feel like I can’t be her mother anymore because I’m no good for her. I didn’t feel like she was mine anymore and almost grieved for the little girl I once had.

I can’t take her anywhere without her having a complete meltdown/hitting herself/kicking me. It’s so rubbish for her. She has no friends yet and isn’t able to attend classes/groups as she doesnt listen to instructions. There’s no imaginative play or creativity. She’s just “there” in life

I have dreams about hurting her (absolutely no intentions in doing so) or getting hurt in front me and I don’t so much blink an eyelid. I have also dreamt several times about crashing our car deliberately with both of us in it.
I have since had my 2nd child and these feelings and dreams have gotten so much worse and are happening more regularly. Im on anti depressants already but I don’t feel they’re helping.

Im scared if I go to my GP or HV they’ll think I’m crazy or report me.

Hi OP, I have no advice but this must be really distressing for you - I’m sure a GP wouldn’t judge you or report you as you are seeking help. Hopefully MNHQ might be able to link to some support threads for you.

Hi OP. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it sounds awful. It seems to me that the treatment you’re receiving for depression is not enough and you should speak to your GP. That’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of: if you had an ear infection, got prescribed antibiotics, and the infection persisted, you’d go back to your doctor, right? You should do the same now. Your GP will be understanding and able to help: PND is real and common and the last few years if your life have been difficult and you need and deserve support.
Sending you love 💛

Look up sensory rooms and we sorry swings all can be done really cheap to a living room or a bedroom - call pots , lights, bubbles etc

Diet and lots of water

Calming music on in the house

Find something she likes going out in like a trolly, a push car, an electric car
Absolutely anything you can push or pull her in, some children like those done carried for the back of lush bikes cute bag with reigns. Obviously every child is different so what works for one may not work for another

Lave see in all rooms

Would she wear head phones with music / stories on?

Self care for yourself! It is vital! Face masks, swimming, YouTube yoga etc

Lava lamps, fish tank

Hello OP, we are really sorry to read that you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Wishing you the very best,
Hugs 💐
MNHQ

Please,refer to social services children with disabilities team for help including respite.
What does dp or other parent say?
Say you need urgent help
This might be shared care foster carers for example.
Respite respite respite
Talk to duty social worker children with disabilities , call tgexlocal council and adk for the number and get assessed for respite now

Thank you everyone for all your advice x

Hi OP I had a bit of a breakdown when my son was diagnosed... i found everything too overwhelming. Please seek help.

Could it possibly be OCD?? Do these sorts of intrusive thoughts happen just with your daughter or with anything else?

Really sorry with how you're feeling OP, hope it all gets better soon. Hugs 💕💝

I had this although my youngest had the autism not my eldest. I couldn't cope at all it was absolutely horrendous. I was also trying to work and pay the mortgage as was a single parent.

I got to breaking point and phoned the special needs team at children's services. They arranged respite and funding to get some additional support at a nursery so he could go a couple of hours a week it was a lifesaver.

He is now a teenager and can talk 🙂🙂