I loose my temper with my two year old all the time

[Kerrylass221]

I feel like the worst mum in the world. Every time I scream at my little one I promise myself that it will be the last time but then I have a bad day and have absolutely zero patience with her and scream all over again. I hate being like this because the gilt just eats me up but I can't help it. I feels so unhappy a lot of the time and I just can't seem to shake myself out of it. I know that she's not to blame but she makes things so so difficult at times that I just feel so hopeless as her mum and as a person.

Any advice??

Omg imagine you asking for support and then people have only got judgment to give you. It’s completely normal to loose your temper, toddlers are super hard and I’ve had a look and apparently parenting classes are supposed to help but not completely sure. I tend to lose my temper a lot and I try not too but it happens and no it’s doesn’t make you a bad parent it’s makes you a human being who’s learning. Please don’t beat yourself and listen to these judgemental people and I hope you manage to get the right support 🤞🏻🩷

Do you lose your temper in anger? Or frustration? Toddlers are frustrating .

As parents we sometimes need to be reminded to pick our battles. Not everything needs to be that big a deal .

I've shouted at mine when they were toddlers. Most parents have. The fact you feel guilty and are asking for support is a good sign .

Look not being funny this woman is clearly just a normal mother there is no need to make her feel worse than she already feels, we all lose our heads from time to time we re only human and dealing with the demands of everyday life as a parent of little kids can be frustrating at times that is normal she has recognised tht she should handle things differently there isn't a mum on this planet that hasn't once shouted at their kids from time to time doesn't make us bad parents u are clearly not a parent and if u are its disturbing to me how u can be calm 24 7 not normal even health visitors point that out we understand they are little and she probably doesn't do it all the time but dealing with little ones temper tantrums can stress even the best mums out, kindly keep ur opinions to yourself and stop putting stressed mothers down ! We are doing our best to raise these tiny people and that's all that matters comprende ? I got u girl I understand the struggle and we ve all been there just try and take a 5 minute time out when u feel like that my life saver is going for my fag break lol

OP I have my children later in life so I think this has helped me see even the frustrations as a positive since for too long i didn'thave the opportunity. But also, I've learnt from other people's mistakes a lot.

The following seems to work for us - don't know of this is helpful.

• Give your toddler a lot of space to be themselves and only say no when it really matters. There are only two things that really matter: avoiding dangerous situations and refraining from violent / defiant behaviour.

Strict routine is quite overrated: so many of my friends struggle at mealtimes but it really doesn't need to be war. Can you eat more casually, let your dd eat off your plate whilst watching The chase on the sofa? She doesn't want to wear a bib? That's ok, washing machines are there for that.
Does it matter if she wants to play with the toilet flush? Is it really that dangerous if she's playing with coins and a moneybox? Who cares if cushions are on the floor / stained with play dough?

• Have regular time outdoors. A walk or two with your dd every day brings the tension down for everyone

• Lower the expectations on yourself. Cooking frozen pizza too often? Changing the sheets every two weeks? It's OK. Does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Really not.

• Use distraction technique all the time. Tantrum brewing because you switched off cartoons? Time to offer something better like making hot chocolate with marshmallows. Threw her drink on the floor? Teach her to say / sign sorry and have fun cleaning it up with her. Doesn't want to brush her teeth? Turn the chase into a funny game.

I can't help but feel that so many of the things we're told to do (like strict bedtime and baby-led weaning for example) are setting up most parents for disaster and inevitable failure. Your dd is not tired? OK, 40 stories it is then. Precious time together.
You're fed up with mess At mealtimes? Spoon feed your baby soft food and give them one chewy / crunchy item at a time.

It's a lot about letting go of impossible standard and thr need for control.

Good luck OP, you're doing well for caring.

Hi all,

I just wanted to come on and give a wee update regarding my post. I haven't been on here in a while. After I posted that I felt quiet overwhelmed. I am very happy to report that things have massively improved and me and my wee girl are in a much better place. She is now 3 and a half, is thriving in nursery, and is a happy and content little girl. I am much happier in myself aswell. I take some time for myself when I can. I've joined a gym got stronger physically and mentally and am a lot more content in my self and in my everyday life. I do still feel a little lonely at times but when I start to feel down I reach out to my friends and they help me through it. The grief in loosing my dad played a huge part in my anger and sadness. my work has put me in touch with a bereavement organisation and they have helped me comes to terms with this and a lot of other stuff. My relationship with my daughter has come on leaps and bounds, we bake together, go to the swing park, soft play and I am just so happy to be spending quality time with her. We still have our moments but I'm so much calmer now and I've realised that I can't be perfect all the time. So to all you fantastic moms out there who offered me your support, advice and most importantly your understanding I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. You were a lifeline to me and to all other moms out there going through a similar experience to me. It is such a good feeling to know that you are never on your own and lastly to the posters who were a little harsh i thank you aswel for giving me the reality check that I needed xx❤️

Clearly many of these people don’t have children…