I could punch his smug face, that’s how angry he makes me.

[Bodybags]

During lockdown my partner took on full responsibility for feeding and parenting our kids.
He doesn’t eat or touch any form of fruit or vegetables at all ever.
Because of this, during lockdown and since, he hasn’t cooked or served our kids any of these.
Now, kids too won’t touch most.
Except for a very few.
Whenever I cook now, I ALWAYS cook those few that they will eat.
But he has this smug smirk EVERY single time the kids push them around the plate and leave them.
like he has won some kind of parenting contest.

We have had discussions about this, he is an intelligent bloke, a fantastic dad in every other respect, and I do mean fantastic. He is a much better parent than I am.

It’s bad enough that they don’t eat anything I make because it resembles healthy eating. If it’s beige, processed and crap, they all eat it.
Tonight it has pissed me off.

A fantastic dad doesn't feed his kids crap just because of his own bad eating habits.

An intelligent person who has a limited diet themselves can still research and prepare healthy food for their dc.

That's really shit and not great of you to have let it go on either.

What does he say when you raise this with him?

So the DC probably have mild malnutrition, increased risk of cancer and likely suffer with constipation.

This makes him the better parent how?

I'd never call someone fantastic or intelligent if they'd not served their children nutritious food. I'd call them negligent

(Yes I know some kids refuse and choose beige - but that should be a choice on the child's part in the sense of healthy balanced food is provided every single day)

Do you live in a different house?

Why was he in charge of all food if he's so shit at it? Did you not anticipate this?

So much more context needed here.

Someone who is gleefully ensuring his children are lacking essential nutrients for health/growth/brain/immunity etc etc is a better parent than you? What do you do then?

Why did he take full responsibility during lockdown? I was a key worker out of the home and still managed to prepare some of the meals.

You were working long hours for the NHS? They may change. They probably will.

If he’s feeding the children beige crap and encouraging them not to have a healthy diet he isn’t a fantastic dad

This would be a deal breaker for me, I have to wonder how you let this happen. You are equally to blame for your children’s poor diet.

Oh my God, if you think he has a great father then you really really need to look at your standards. Feeding your children healthy food is a very basic thing to do. He doesn't even do that and then smirks, the cheeky bastard, when you are upset.

He's not a fantastic Dad, he's a twat

I don’t blame you for being pissed off OP.

If he really is a fantastic dad in all other respects, sit down for a serious chat. It might be worth making some notes so you don’t get sidetracked. Tell him that the DCs eating habits is something that you want to work on because it’s an absolute basic of life that will make a huge difference to their future. Ask him for ideas. Come up with a plan that you will implement together.

If he won’t do this I’d have the ick so bad that I would not be able to be in the same room and I’d get my ducks in a row

Lockdown was a while ago now, where were you and where have you been since? His behaviour is awful encouraging the kids to not eat healthier but you have a role too.

For what it’s worth, my DS eats limited cooked vegetables (he is likely ASD and I believe it’s a texture thing?). However he does eats raw veg and fruit, will that work? Will they drink smoothies?

Hmmm why did he take on full responsibility for parenting and feeding?? Gotta be a back story there

"He is a much better parent than I am."

I wholeheartedly disagree.

Yes, I was NHS working 60 hours plus every week throughout and now away with work for days on end.

I am vegetarian so I cook healthy foods. This is now so ingrained with them that it’s near impossible to get them to try or eat veg.
There is some fruit they will eat, I give fruits and veg with every meal I prepare when I’m around.

They have a multi vitamin each day and fruit.Tonight I made Mac & cheese with carrots because they will eat carrots, nope, pushed around and left uneaten. It made me so frustrated.
Apple for after, 3 pieces eaten, skins left. So next to nothing.
He agrees when we have a conversation that it’s vital for health, then doesn’t buy any when food shopping, doesn’t cook any when cooking.
So frustrating.

He sounds immature, uneducated and stupid. To purposefully feed the kids crap and then be smug about it. not to mention lazy and useless. Nothing I would associate with being a good father. Go see a gp and get them to wipe that smug look off his face when they explain how important a healthy diet is for growing children.

Does he want them to get ill?

I’d really struggle to live with someone like this, tbh.

He’s undermining you, and sabotaging his children’s health.

That’s not fantastic.

He isn’t any of those things at all.
He does 90% of the childcare and household things. He works 30 hours a week on top of that so definitely not lazy.
I do what I can when I’m home, but I’m the main wage earner and work long hours where I am physically away for days at a time some weeks.
This has been our situation for the last 8-9 years.

He sounds pretty stupid OP, why would he want his kids to be unhealthy and malnourished?

You might have to go down the hidden veg route OP, like you do with very young kids/babies etc. Pureed and mixed in with sauces etc so they get the good stuff without being aware that's what they're eating.

And if they're not huge fruit lovers, just plain fruit for pudding might not be appetising.

I know you shouldn't have to, but getting a bit creative with dinners/puddings might help their palates to slowly adjust to eating fruit/veg.

Your DH sounds like a giant arse - if you've discussed it and he's STILL not dishing up fruit/veg with his dinners, I'd be absolutely incandescent. I would ask him to explain after every single shop. Don't let him off the hook - and tell him if he continues to refuse to serve the DC fruit and veg, you're going to take them to the GP. Maybe threaten to tell the school too? Hopefully if he's as intelligent as you say, he'll be too ashamed to risk being outed as such a poor parent.....