I could punch his smug face, that’s how angry he makes me.

[Bodybags]

During lockdown my partner took on full responsibility for feeding and parenting our kids.
He doesn’t eat or touch any form of fruit or vegetables at all ever.
Because of this, during lockdown and since, he hasn’t cooked or served our kids any of these.
Now, kids too won’t touch most.
Except for a very few.
Whenever I cook now, I ALWAYS cook those few that they will eat.
But he has this smug smirk EVERY single time the kids push them around the plate and leave them.
like he has won some kind of parenting contest.

We have had discussions about this, he is an intelligent bloke, a fantastic dad in every other respect, and I do mean fantastic. He is a much better parent than I am.

It’s bad enough that they don’t eat anything I make because it resembles healthy eating. If it’s beige, processed and crap, they all eat it.
Tonight it has pissed me off.

A fantastic dad doesn't feed his kids crap just because of his own bad eating habits.
Agreed. My DP has a terrible aversion to fruit. He can tolerate some but others (banana is the worst) makes him retch and gag even just looking at it. However since having DD he’s surprised me by getting on with it, he doesn’t gag when she hands him half chewed banana now, and he can cut fruit and prepare fine, something he couldn’t / wouldn’t have done before.

How old are they? If they like carrots but refuse to eat them tonight are they able to articulate why?

Have you asked your husband about the smirking? The way you’re painting him it sounds like a very passive aggressive act, is there other issues in your relationship that would lead to this? It’s very odd.

DH and I have both always cooked veg for our DC (4 and 2). And we both eat a variety in front of them. DC1 currently only eats corn on cob and peas (if persuaded) and DC2 has in the last few weeks completely rejected all the veg he happily ate just a month ago. He's not eaten a single vegetable in the last week despite having them constantly offered to him, and previously eating them... So just saying that to balance the idea that always cooking veg and previous eating habits don't always mean anything.

But the smug looks and thinking like he's 'won' because they won't eat it are really really weird. Why on earth would you want your child to not eat healthy foods?

I don't know how old your kids are but I make mine write a list of what they will eat.
I explain I know there's a lot you won't eat but you've got to eat some so you can come up with it. Give them some control.

I'll also do picky plates whilst they're playing/ watching TV first, peppers, sugar snaps, cucumber so I know some goodness has gone in them.

I also used to avoid smoothies as low fibre and too sweet but I've given in on that now they're older just so I know im getting a range of nutrients in there somewhere.

Without your partner getting on board though what can you realistically do. It's very frustrating when you always have to be the bad guy when the fun parent likes crap food and wall to wall screen time and staying in. Drives me mad.

Why is he smirking?

The smirking sounds...strange.

Are you a doctor OP?
Is there any chance that he was feeling emasculated by your frankly important job and this became his WA to punish you?

I really hope I'm wildly overreaching...

He realises he's depriving his children (and himself) of vital vitamins and nutrients to feel and be healthy and extend their lives right?

He might think he's got away with it but his diet will show with time when he ages

No fantastic dad or dh would smirk

Why didn’t you chime in?
Weird that NOW you’re mad about it? Surely you had conversations about this at the time?

Also he's spurring them onto obesity or malnutrition as adults. At least an unhealthy attitude to food.

The fact he takes pride or joy in it is very strange.

You’re the one posting you want to smack him but you’re defending him to everyone who’s agreeing with you that his behaviour is neglectful and shit. Why?

You’re presumably an intelligent woman, what is it about how he’s deliberately depriving your children of the benefits and joy of healthy eating, then bragging about it, that makes him a fantastic father? Because it’s not clear to anyone else.

He is not intelligent and he is not a fantastic parent, or indeed a very nice person if he gets some sort of weird kick over his kids refusing to eat healthily like daddy. My SIL doesn’t eat fruit or veg, does most of the cooking and feeds his DC’s a variety of fruit and vegetables every single day, because he cares about their health. Why the fuck does your husband not care about the health of his?

Why don't you blend vegetables into a sauce so they don't realise then you have a smug face. That'd be winning 😂

Well, OK, so what's his fucking problem then?

One of my kids won't knowingly eat a vegetable, maybe I should be punched in the face too?

How old are your kids?

It’s not ideal but many kids don’t eat veg either because they simply hate it and no amount of cajoling will ever entice them into eating it (even hidden) and many kids are very sensory around veg. You can still feed them lots of other good choices, it’s really not that catastrophic believe it or not.

The one nutrient they need that comes from vegetables is vitamin C and if a child doesn’t eat veg this can easily be obtained daily from small amounts of orange/apple juice.

Meats will provide you with plenty of B vitamins, iron and essential protein along with eggs. Whole dairy products like cheese, milk and yogurt for bones etc. Wholemeal breads and pasta can be given for fibre etc. Honestly, some people just need to take a big deep breath and stop coming to the conclusion that a life with no veg simply means a diet of chicken nuggets.

No you should be punched in the face for being in such a rush to make it all about you, that you didn’t even bother to read OP’s post properly.

I don’t even know what to say about this. I’d divorce him in a heartbeat except I can see this doesn’t actually help you as he’d still have the dc. What about before each mealtime you call him into the kitchen, remind him he wants healthy children not malnourished ones, that he KNOWS vegetables are essential, and that he will 1. Eat his if it chokes him, and 2. Say something encouraging the dc to eat theirs. On weekends at the table you can each week share a malnutrition effect. He can start with scurvy then you do the following week. Seriously. Start making him participate in this as I’d feel pretty violent too.

If they're regularly taking a multivitamin it's not the end of the world. As they get older they will likely become more willing to try fruit and veg, especially if they see you eating and enjoying them.

What kind of a moron doesn’t feed his children healthily because of his own childish aversion to vegetables, and then smirks every time the children subsequently reject veg, like he’s had a personal win over you?

What a fucking dummy.

Can you read?

He's a dick

He's not a great dad and he's playing games here.

Basically, he's opting out of parenting. He took the easy road during covid and now he won't support you in undoing the damage he did.

Just the mere fact of being there while you're working doesn't make him a great parent. He phoned it in during covid and he's doing the same now.

And he's undermining you.

Not.Great.

my partner took on full responsibility for feeding and parenting our kids.
What parenting do you do?
If this was a man posting he'd be ripped a new one about shirking his share of parenting.
Very odd statement from a couple
who live together.