No copying at 12 months

[First time mom.]

Just after some advice or anyone in the same situation.
Very emotional at the moment, struggling to see friends with babies.
My 12 month old isn't copying anything I am doing. He doesn't wave, clap or point and doesn't even seem close despite me waving and clapping with him ALOT for the past few months. He just always looks away at something else. He doesn't seem interested.
When seeing other people with babies, their babies have been clapping for months and most are waving with some even saying a few words.
My baby says dada, baba and yaya but no words.
I do put Ms Rachel on, sing if your happy and you know it clap your hands. If I hold his hands together to clap them he gets frustrated and pulls away.
The more I teach him, the more upset i am becoming. I have his health visitor check up next week and I literally think I might burst into tears when I walk in the room, I am dreading it.
He will hold two cups together and bang them together every so often.
He is standing unaided and I think will walk in the next month so no concerns there.
He will pick things up and put them in a box but won't bring me toys.
He will look to where I am pointing. He will respond to come here and No and responds to his name.
But I just cannot see him doing any of these gestures any time soon and he is just not bothered. I tried sticking my tongue out to him earlier and he just tried to touch mine, rather than copy.
Not really sure what I want out of this post but I just feel like I need someone to talk to as all I ever see on mumsnet is babies who have done these things before 12 months and I don't feel I have anyone to discuss with, without judgement. Partner is abit worried but not as much as me

If anyone has a child who did these things after 12 months and is now happy and healthy, please give me some reassurance. However, if anyone feels that this is concerning is rather know the truth. Any health visitors out there who can advise? I thought about ringing them but they would just say to wait for full assessment next week I thought. But a week of no sleep and constant worry is draining.

So sorry for the long post and if you got to reading this far. Thank you so much

Oh also if anyone has any recommendations to encourage him to copy. Thanks

My DS never really got into waving. He’s almost 2 now and developing completely normally, but just isn’t bothered about waving!

Babies are really variable, so don’t worry. Hopefully your health visitor appointment will give you a good indication of how he’s progressing.

12 months is too young for words. Great that he’s babbling and making some sounds but don’t expect words for a little while yet.

It does sound like you’re getting quite stressed with it and putting a lot of pressure on yourself to “teach” him stuff. You really don’t need to, he will get there in his own time. Lots of talking, singing, interaction and just exposure to everyday life is all he needs. I know it’s hard because you want to do everything you can, but just try to relax and enjoy the stage he’s at now.

Also, have you thought about getting help for anxiety? A week of constant worry is a bit more than normal mum worry.

None on my 3 were interested in copying, even much older than that.

I wouldn't try to force it - at that age they work on skills they want to! If they like banging toys together, perhaps encourage that? It's still bringing them to midline and coordinating them. Do they crawl? My eldest didn't, and that meant she didnt have her hands as flat so clapped later. If they crawl, encourage it as much as possible as it helps to strengthen muscles in the hands.

The health visitor will be able to give you a better idea of if souls at developing normally. Babies often do things in different orders (my eldest was VERY different from her brothers), but that doesnt mean they won't all develop the appropriate skills in time.

Rather than looking at the specific examples you've mentioned, ask yourself if your baby is developing in each AREA a.g. gross motor, fine motor, communication. They don't know the book! The examples e.g. clapping are just examples.

Thank you so much for replying to me. I think I do need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to teach him like you said. Will do it in his own time.

This is very true. He is fine in all areas but slightly lower in the communication because of gestures
But a good point as he is developing his babbling so that's definitely a positive to look at.
Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Forgot.to say, yes he has been crawling since 6 months so he has been good in his gross motor skills.
Only starting to bang things together the last month so hopefully that means he is starting to figure it out.
Thanks

Don’t be putting pressure on yourself to teach him skills. I think the job ass a parent for that age group is more about giving opportunities to develop skills and encouraging them rather then actually teaching the skills.
Number one rule for babies is don’t compare your baby to another one. They all develop at different rates. Things like an illness can interfere with this.

Please don't stress yourself out, he sounds fine, I'm pretty sure mine didn't wave or clap at that age and they both developed well, in fact the eldest was very advanced by age 2.
I speak from experience here being a professional worrier. My second child didn't say a word till 21 months, not even dada or muma. He has turned out completely fine, if anything he is advanced now in his speech and understanding at age 3. They all focus on different things and develop differently, he is still very young. Try to relax and enjoy your baby.

Also you really can't teach skills, as long as you play with him and talk to him and he has the opportunity to move and interact, he will do things at his own pace.

Please don't kill yourself trying to get him to fo these things. Babies pick up on your mood and he may be unsettled if he senses your anxiety. This will not help anyone. Just enjoy your baby.

My son was slightly late to clap, but a week or two before he did he started banging toys together. So it may happen for you soon. He is 19.5 mo and has waved maybe twice in his life. Never pointed. At our 12 mo check no concerns were raised and he is continuing to develop normally.

If he babbles to you, talk back and have little mini-conversations.

Continue to model skills and behaviour, but just take the pressure off him. If he does it, great. If not, no big deal.

Enjoy your baby and (I mean this in the kindest way) chill out.

Meant to say at 12 mo my son didn't do much copying either. He's too busy doinghis own thing! He has started doing it a lot in the last few months though

Yes that's exactly like mine. Too busy doing his own thing to bother copying me. Thank you for the reassurance everyone I feel much better and a lot more chilled out about it now.

I never taught my child anything they just learnt it themselves

Hi how is he doing now@ things fine.. Please help i am in same boat... Please advice

Hi dear did he try to imitate the sound you make or tried any words like that...

@First time mom. just wondering if you could give an update thank you so much xxx

@First time mom. not sure if it tagged you correctly!

my little one is developing well. 2 years 4 months. We are under speech and language as his vocabulary is abit low but he is getting there and has amazing understanding.
clapped at 16 months and waved occasionally from about 18 months. Still hardly ever waves, only when he feels like it but health visitors aren’t concerned as other than some delayed speech then he is otherwise developing normally.

@First time mom. how is your little one now? Do you remember when he first pointed?

Speech is coming on well. Started pointing at 15 months

Hi, I know this is old. Any update?

My son didn’t do any gestures until 13 months, now 2yr 2m, seems NT to me, very chatty

Sorry meant any copying either. He did nothing other than smile

@scousemouse92 Thanks for letting me know. Mine copies shaking his head no, and clapping. That’s it. He really won’t copy me with objects (like banging a block on the table after I do). He just wants the object from me. I’m so worried that he doesn’t imitate as expected. He’s 13 months soon.

That’s 200% more than my ds did. Main things that think need to be looking for are answering to name, eye contact, social smiles, babbling and the start of gestures. If doing all that expect the rest to come. There is a range with time