please tell me im not the only one who finds this fucking miserably dull a lot of the time

[kheo]

or am I just awful?

baby four months. What’s sad is that he’s not even that difficult compared to what I’ve heard. But fucking hell, the batting arms around when feeding, the wresting the head back and forth, the sick often almost straight after, the hysterical crying over essentially nothing (yes I know it’s something in baby world). The constant nappy changes.

I love him and there are good times of course but god.. I worked in a very demanding job and frankly I have never felt this bored in my life. Please tell me I’m not alone. Urgh fed up today.

You’re not alone to find babies boring, but I’m sure someone will be along in a moment to let you know you’re doing it wrong or my to ask my favourite question.

“Why did you have them in the first place?”

I’ve had that simply because I find conversation about babies boring, there’s more context but what kind of a question is that? I answered with “he was an accident”.😂.

There are photos of me when both of my DC were about 4 months and I am completely dead behind the eyes. It. Was. Hideous. For me it was being stuck in a loop - feed wind change scream nap scream feed on and on - like groundhog 3 hours. The loop gets longer and the drudgery gets much less and the children become so much more fun and rewarding.

Totally agree. I remember a helpful health visitor asking whether I was 'enjoying my baby' and how overwhelming the sense of responsibility was. And just saying how mindlessly dull it was after a stressful and demanding job. She didn't get it.

No you are not alone. It does get better though.

My children are adults now, but I remember feeling exactly like you do. This was well before social media and I thought I was an awful parent to feel like I did. Before I gave birth I loved the idea of babies but the reality was so different. Stuck at home with no car, no company and having given up my job, I was climbing the walls. I went on to have two more, convinced it would get better, but it never did, if anything it got harder. Finally, I saw sense and got a part time job and I think that saved my sanity.

I remember having an emotional breakdown around about that time. You’re not alone! I found maternity really dull … so much so I’m about to do it again 🤣

YANBU, could you go back to work earlier than planned?

I remember when my son was 4 mo and ALL he would do was stare at me all day.

He's coming up on 20 mo now and never stops running and playing.

Your child will become more flexible. It doesn't last

This isn't normal! My first DC had these issues, it turned out to be horrendous reflux caused by CMPA (yes we were BF). Once we eliminated all milk from my diet and got him on carobel he was a different baby. I'd take him to the GP and see what they can do for you.

I feel your pain. It is completely plausible to love your child but also miss being mentally stimulated. I returned to work at 6 months but because I was doing a PhD I chose my hours so he was at nursery for about 3 hours a day then I collected him and we did other things. I don’t know what to suggest because I’m pretty sure I just survived but I’m not sure how! I think it’s very difficult to make that transition when you’re used to being in a very mentally stimulating role. It’ll get better - don’t lose hope! Try and find time for yourself at least an hour a day - I would go for a yoga class or get on my bike. It made me feel more human

There is'a reason why I literally went out every single day when my lot were little!I was so bloody lucky that I had lots if good friends who all had their babies at the same time..it saved my sanity TBH !

Nope you’re not alone. Dd is 5 months and the days are soo long and boring. Her sleeping has also become shite the last few weeks so now I feel like there’s literally no break. Solidarity!

It will pass.
It seems like forever now - but it will pass/change/improve.
It's probably the toughest, least rewarding time (4 months).
I used to think I'd made the biggest mistake ever/ruined my life etc.
My eldest is now 34. His 2nd daughter is 4 months ... and I've loved most (not all) of those 34 years ... and I even adore the 4 month old ... though I can 'give her back'. You can't. But soon ... you won't mind.
Give it time.
Good Luck.

It is boring. I wish people would actually talk about it more so others would know what they were getting into. I had no idea I'd be so bored!

Yes. It's mind numbingly boring.
Relentless.
They give nothing back.
I totally get/remember that.
but IT GETS BETTER. It really does.

Do you do anything else? Baby groups? Anything like that really helps ... not everyone you meet will 'admit' to the relentless, boredom thing ... but someone probably will ... that way sanity lies.

This was me 4 years ago. I started making plans to go back to work and did so 3 1/2 months later. Best decision I ever made, and frankly saved my sanity.

DS is 3 months and I recently went back to work because I was bored and miserable. I feel so much better now that my brain isn't mush and I feel like I'm more myself again.

A long maternity leave isn't for everyone.

God yes it's boring. The whole process can be so boring for what feels like forever

DS is 2.5 and DD is 3 weeks old and oh my god I am SO bored of sterilising bottles, filling formula pots, change, feed, wind, wind again. Finish bottle. Wash it up. Play trains with toddler for the 5th time this morning. Clean kitchen repeatedly as everyone apparently needs to eat 400 times a day

It feels very slow and I find myself clock watching a lot.

It does get better, but it doesn't feel like it right now.

The only plus is when they're this little and they can't run away from you yet 😂

Personally I don’t understand this or can get my head around it. I can honestly say I am happier and more fulfilled since having mine

i think a lot of time maternity leave is what you make of it

I think I got pregnant again about that stage but I do remember going out every single day sometimes driving and hour and a half to our nearest city as they would sleep and mooch about and drive home

it gave me a break whilst driving and I’d buy a coffee and relax

i would only drive that far once a week though - I did baby groups and visited people

Yes you’re quite right, looking after a baby is mainly mindless unrewarding drudgery. You spend the whole day doing things and at the end you have achieved NOTHING. Then you do it all again the next day.

Try to appreciate the cuteness, though. You won’t believe how soon he’ll be 12.

Toddlers are fucking ace. Wild little whirlwinds but absolutely amazing. Absolutely so worth getting through this phase for them OP. I also really, really struggled with the tiny baby phase but I’ve flourished with having a toddler. Hang on in there.

🫤 it sounds pretty normal to me to be honest.

Babies can be difficult (and boring).

Mines 6 now and I don't want anymore cause I can't face the baby/toddle stage again. Bores me to tears