Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Drinking alcohol around children

39 replies

Bluestar27 · 16/03/2023 15:53

Is it reasonable to ask family members not to hold my baby if they’ve been drinking? Drinking to the extent they sometimes repeat themselves. A regular occurrence too. Feeling uncomfortable but don’t want to cause upset.

OP posts:

gogohmm · 16/03/2023 15:55

If they are obviously tipsy, yes, of course. I wouldn't if they had only had one glass of wine

Original poster

Bluestar27 · 16/03/2023 16:05

Yeah I’m talking a lot more than one glass of wine

OP posts:

CharlotteDoyle · 16/03/2023 16:14

If you're uncomfortable with anyone holding your baby for any reason - including because they're drunk - then just take them back. You don't need to give a reason. But if you feel the need to make an excuse then something like "Oh BabyBlueStar is looking tired / has just done a poo so I'll take it from here thanks" should do it. I appreciate that drunken relatives can be pushy and defensive

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Rakszasa · 16/03/2023 22:01

I think it's reasonable, especially if they're tipsy/drunk. Whatever rules you wanna make re your baby is totally up to you.
We've got that rule for our baby and it works for us. From the beginning we just told family members that there won't be any holding baby after drinking alcohol and we stuck to it, and they respect that.

7Worfs · 16/03/2023 22:05

With my newborns I asked visitors to not smoke, drink or wear heavy perfume if they want to hold the baby. It’s the absolute minimum to keep baby safe and comfortable.

blebbleb · 17/03/2023 02:53

It's your baby and you decide who holds them. I definitely wouldn't want someone pissed holding my baby. A bit about the pp asking people not to wear heavy perfume before they visit though. Screams pfb to me!

redandwhite1 · 17/03/2023 04:45

It's up to you it's your baby! Don't let anyone say otherwise!

I'd be ok with one or two but if tipsy / drunk absolutely not

HoppingPavlova · 17/03/2023 04:47

If they are drunk, yes, that’s obviously acceptable. The same would go if they were adversely affected by prescribed medication or illegal drugs.

carriedout · 17/03/2023 05:50

blebbleb · 17/03/2023 02:53

It damages the nervous system and causes allergic reactions, perfume is pretty toxic stuff.

Newmumtobetwentytwentytwo · 17/03/2023 06:00

I get the perfume thing! I hadn’t thought of health reasons but my neighbour held my 4 week old and I had to bath him the perfume was so strong! It definitely unsettled him as he was so new.

7Worfs · 17/03/2023 09:06

I thought it’s common sense to keep perfume away from babies, but apparently not. Midwives should add that to their materials.

Also breastfeeding mothers shouldn’t be using deodorants on their armpits. I hope everyone knows that.

blebbleb · 17/03/2023 09:11

Oh wow I feel a bit silly now! good to know re the perfume! Honestly didn't think that was a thing.

Skinnermarink · 17/03/2023 09:13

blebbleb · 17/03/2023 09:11

Oh wow I feel a bit silly now! good to know re the perfume! Honestly didn't think that was a thing.

It really doesn’t have to be.

Jendrw5 · 17/03/2023 09:46

I definitely wouldn't want someone to hold my baby if they'd had a few drinks. My dad tried to hold and kiss my baby when he was very drunk, him and his wife told me I was being overprotective of him, but thankfully I stood my ground.

AliceTheeCamel · 17/03/2023 10:03

7Worfs · 17/03/2023 09:06

I thought it’s common sense to keep perfume away from babies, but apparently not. Midwives should add that to their materials.

Also breastfeeding mothers shouldn’t be using deodorants on their armpits. I hope everyone knows that.

Eh? Where are you finding these things?

maddy68 · 17/03/2023 10:13

If your baby is unsafe then yes if they hace just had a couple of drinks then you're being over precious

7Worfs · 17/03/2023 11:53

AliceTheeCamel · 17/03/2023 10:03

Eh? Where are you finding these things?

Show quote history

I don’t “find” them, I just know them.

Spraying a deodorant and then sticking a baby near the armpit is a disaster - constantly inhaling chemical fumes and strong smells to the point the milk tastes of the deodorant.
Even adults will hate it if someone sprays a deodorant next them while they are eating. It’s 1000 times worse for a baby.

In addition BF mothers specifically sweat a bit more/produce a specific scent for the baby to sniff it and find its way to the mother/breast. And the natural smell is very comforting and reassuring to the baby.

Original poster

Bluestar27 · 17/03/2023 13:06

As my main post stated, enough that they’re repeating themselves… so yes definitely more than a couple of drinks

OP posts:

Original poster

Bluestar27 · 17/03/2023 13:13

maddy68 · 17/03/2023 10:13

If your baby is unsafe then yes if they hace just had a couple of drinks then you're being over precious

As my main post stated, enough that they’re repeating themselves… so yes definitely more than a couple of drinks

OP posts:

sparkle1011 · 17/03/2023 14:18

A bit ott imo - but it's your baby, your rules

househokks · 17/03/2023 14:19

Do you suffer from anxiety by any chance ?

7Worfs · 17/03/2023 14:26

househokks · 17/03/2023 14:19

Do you suffer from anxiety by any chance ?

Don’t gaslight a new mum that she’s got MH issues if she doesn’t want drunk people holding her baby.

Londongal123 · 17/03/2023 14:41

My aunt dropped her 3 month old grandson because she was drunk so yes very reasonable to ask people not to hold your baby after they have been drinking.

Reugny · 17/03/2023 15:32

househokks · 17/03/2023 14:19

Do you suffer from anxiety by any chance ?

Why would you want a tipsy or drunk person carrying anyone especially a small baby?

I've seen drunk people carrying adults and dropping them.

Original poster

Bluestar27 · 17/03/2023 15:47

7Worfs · 17/03/2023 14:26

Don’t gaslight a new mum that she’s got MH issues if she doesn’t want drunk people holding her baby.

Show quote history

Do you suffer from being patronising?

OP posts:

Flip

1 2