Do I tell my sister that her daughter, my neice, is taking Ketamine?

[Limara]

Hi, my neice who is 18yrs, old suffered a bout of depression when her first boyfriend ended their relationship about a yr & a half ago. She was prescribed a.d's and took them for a while then stopped.

In the meantime, she got her life back together and started college, made new friends and things were on the up.

Recently, I have become very close to her and she confided in me that she was feeling really depressed so I made her go to the doctor who arranged for her to see a councellor instead of prescribing a.d's.

She also self harms and she told him about this too.

In the weeks prior to the councelling,we spoke about stuff and she told me she occasionally smoked cannabis as she doesn't smoke cigarettes and that she took recreational drugs inc coke when at parties with her friends.

I told her that in the past, I too had taken drugs in my late 20's for a brief period at parties, never at home or in the week and we talked about the side effects of the drugs, for instance cannabis=paranoia, coke=heart failure amongst other things.

Last week, I visited her on the day she was due to see the councellor and she told me she had been taking ketamine all week not just at parties.

I spoke with her and she eventually tipped it down the sink and washed it away.

I am most concerned about the ketamine as it can make you feel really low and she has admitted to wanting to take her own life.

She is a lovely girl and quite intelligent, a bit of an e.m.o (emotional) and not the sort to get mixed up with drugs especially as her father has openly smoked cannabis in front of her all her life.

My sister drinks twice a year, a tipple at crimbo & on her birthday and has NEVER touched drugs.

My dilemma is, do I tell my sister about the Ketamine? She knows her daughter has taken stuff at parties and put it down to experimentation.

My neice as asked me not to tell her mum and I don't want to betray her trust.

Should I wait and hope that the councelling helps her through this difficult time?

If it was your daughter, would you want someone to tell you?
Sometimes you have to betray someones trust if to keep that secret was could put someone in danger. What's to say she didn't get some more when you left? Counselling is good but it sometimes takes a while for it to have any effect.

I dont know really, but I speak from bitter exp both my sster and brother took drugs of all kind and it f**ked up their lives royally, they really really have no ability whatso ever to funtion as normal people. on the flipside some of my friends did drugs and other than a bit of memory loss there have been no lasting side effects.
Not sure whether I would tell as it is breaking a trust with your niece, but in turn by not telling you are breaking trust with your sister. Guess you need to decide what you would want done in the reverse of circumstances.
Whos trust is most important to keep?

What good would telling your sis about her dd's habit? I mean, what would your sis do that would help your niece thru, not take drugs again, etc.? Is your niece even living at home with her mum?

At least niece is confiding in you. If she doesn't do that in the future, AND her mum finding out doesn't improve anything else, then you telling won't help anything. U could be risking a lot for a potential gain of nothing.

I wouldn't tell your sis for now.

If your niece follows through on not taking it again, adn goes to counsellors and is generally pulling herslef back together then I wouldn't tell your sis.

HOwever if she started going downhill even more I would reconsider the position - not necessarily tell your sis but rethink through everything.

Difficult desicion to make, but your niece does need someone reliable and adult to confide in.

I've taken ketamine before and if its the same as it was years ago it wasn't something that made me feel low....
Its not an expecially nice experience when you're on ita nd I wouldn'y say I was full of the joys of spring (kind of like a out of body thing) but for me and any of my friends at the time it wasn't a downer.

Not that that answers your question of telling yiour sister or not.....just thought it might help

don't say anything, give her a chance to sort herself out - keep reminding her that k will make her low mood worse if she starts taking it again and maybe encourage her to open up a bit more to her mum?

I would tell your neice you won't tell her mum this time but if she takes any drugs again, you will.

actually, isn't ketamine being trialled for treating depression?

i would have a chat and tell her how worried you are and ask her to seek help and also explain the situation you are in and the risks if your sis was to find out you knew

give her the opportunity to talk to her mum herself and trell her if she doesnt you feel you will have to tell her as you are worried about her health

that way your not betraying trust you have pre warned her and explained yur reasons for doing it

i wouldnt just go and do it without talking to her first as she is depressed and you are her rock and if she feels she has lost that it will tip her your the one person she trusts

so give her the respect to pre warn her of what your palnning to do but give it a short time scale and ask he rto please stop what she is doing in mean time

I thought ketamin was used as a downer in manic depression treatment sometimes so maybe not a great thing for her to be mucking around with.

I would not tell sis yet; ask your niece to stop taking it and retain her trust in you. At least she talks to you and you will then know if she takes anything even more worrying.

What a horrible situation to be in - I suppose only you know how your sister will react. I would want to know but I would also not tell my dd I knew if it would mean she still spoke to you.

Depends on her relationship with her mother. If they have a good relationship, then I would say to her, explain your fears and that you cannot keep this secret from her mother.

Actually, just reread Bubblagirl's post, and think that it is spot on.

definitely depression not mania: ketamine and depression

interesting though?

ketamine is a horse tranquliser and hullucigenic not good for someone with depression and well known to up suicide rates

she needs to stop taking it and her mum needs to know as this is known to cause heart attacks also

totally agree bubblagirl, you need to tell her mum now, its so dangerous.

god, I;m stunnned at ketamine being used for any treatment.

I swear to god it was the weirdest experience of my life, if any doc offered it to me on a prescription I'd change my GP.

I agree LTH - I was spiked with ketamine many years ago and lost all feeling in my lower legs and had no sense of balance - is a weird drug....

ketamine gives the affect as being on acid and is known with people with depression to cause schitzaphrenia [sorry if spelt wrong]

also if mixed with alcohol is very dangerous lots of people use it on the rave scene and lots of casualties also for doing it

needs to be stopped as with anything can get you when you least expect it and always happens to the it will never happen to me people

she is young and has so much to live for it'd be a shame to ignore the fact and she ends up as the statistic in fatality side or spend sthe rest of her life under mental health

or due to the hallucigenic she does something silly and doesnt get to live life fully as damages hersel;f

not a good one to ignore as too many wrongs can happen short time scale needed then for her own good something needs to be said

my cousin was lucky to have recovered from this she was addicted for a while raving then nearly had a heart attack and scared her into acting but that could have been a heart attack and killed her

and can happen at any time

Information on ketamine www.talktofrank.com/drugs.aspx?id=188

I don't think you should betray your niece's confidence without telling her first that you are planning to do it. She then has the option of telling her mother herself first or doing it with you. She then has some control over the situation. It is her life.

I used to volunteer on a helpline giving support for a mental illness and we were trained to advise people that "outing" someone else should not be done without telling them first - even if they are a child.

If you betray her trust then she's not going to tell you anything again (as well as being hurt beyond words). The best thing you can do for her is to continue to listen. She clearly listens to you if she's chucked the k away and hopefully the counselling will help her out too.

You're in a very priviledged position, please don't abuse her trust.

I agree with nooname.

I understand that you don't want to betray her trust - but by not telling you also have a duty to keep her safe. It's a huge responsibility.

I have a 19 year old - if he was into this sort of thing and my sister knew but didn't say I'd be very angry. If you tell your sister what will she do? Will she lose the plot or be able to stay in the background and let you 'handle' things? Is she definitely seeing the counsellor?

Ketamine isn't addictive and this weekend could just be a one-off. If she had a real problem with it, I very much doubt she would have chucked it down the sink. It's a disassociative - not the kind of thing you can take and go to college on, unlike coke or spliff.