Do I tell my sister that her daughter, my neice, is taking Ketamine?

[Limara]

Hi, my neice who is 18yrs, old suffered a bout of depression when her first boyfriend ended their relationship about a yr & a half ago. She was prescribed a.d's and took them for a while then stopped.

In the meantime, she got her life back together and started college, made new friends and things were on the up.

Recently, I have become very close to her and she confided in me that she was feeling really depressed so I made her go to the doctor who arranged for her to see a councellor instead of prescribing a.d's.

She also self harms and she told him about this too.

In the weeks prior to the councelling,we spoke about stuff and she told me she occasionally smoked cannabis as she doesn't smoke cigarettes and that she took recreational drugs inc coke when at parties with her friends.

I told her that in the past, I too had taken drugs in my late 20's for a brief period at parties, never at home or in the week and we talked about the side effects of the drugs, for instance cannabis=paranoia, coke=heart failure amongst other things.

Last week, I visited her on the day she was due to see the councellor and she told me she had been taking ketamine all week not just at parties.

I spoke with her and she eventually tipped it down the sink and washed it away.

I am most concerned about the ketamine as it can make you feel really low and she has admitted to wanting to take her own life.

She is a lovely girl and quite intelligent, a bit of an e.m.o (emotional) and not the sort to get mixed up with drugs especially as her father has openly smoked cannabis in front of her all her life.

My sister drinks twice a year, a tipple at crimbo & on her birthday and has NEVER touched drugs.

My dilemma is, do I tell my sister about the Ketamine? She knows her daughter has taken stuff at parties and put it down to experimentation.

My neice as asked me not to tell her mum and I don't want to betray her trust.

Should I wait and hope that the councelling helps her through this difficult time?

I'd be concerned that she was feeling the need to take something everyday.

i dont think so - just be as supportive as you can...

I don't know what the right answer is. But someone I knew slightly died from taking ketamine. My instinct when I read the threadtitle screamed that you should tell her mum. (But I appreciate thatt here might be circumstances where this wouldn't be right.)

any update as to how niece is doing, or decisions taken as to whether or not disclose to her mum?

Don't tell her mum for now. You are the one she confided in, and you have a better chance of persuading her not to use it.

Don't betray her trust and tell your sister because then she'll have no-one to confide in and might feel more lonely, more sad and simply push her drug use underground where it can't be monitored.

This is very difficult for you but you are also in a key position to try to help her through this tough time.

Good luck.

Hi, thanks guys for all your reply's. I love mners!

I read lots of comments last night and was half way thro' my response but had to attend to my poorly dd.

When my neice told me about the 'k', I asked her to imagine what my sister would say and how she'd feel is something happened to her & I knew and didn't tell her? She responded by saying she wouldn't do it again.

I rang my neice the next night and asked her again if she'd do 'k' again and she said ''I dunno, maybe, I dunno''

I'm stuck in the middle really.

When I asked my neice to tell her mum about 'k' she said her mum would just roll her eyes.

To me, this suggests that my sister is struggling to take the right course of action with her dd and my neice doesn't want to dissapoint her mother.

My sister seems to be fed up with her dd's problems, almost lost?

In the meantime, I have decided to ring my neice everyday and encourage her to fill her mood diary as suggested by the councellor at the dr's surgery. I thought it would be a good way of keeping up dialogue and letting her know I am there for her so she knows I care for her.

For all of you who suggested I encourage my neice to tell her mum before I do, I will when I visit them on Friday.

Wish me luck.

yes of course, very best of luck

there's every chance that your niece will get through this and emerge stronger and wiser, especially if she can get some appropriate help and support for her depression and whatever other problems are going on

I sort of know where her mum is coming from, have found it very difficult coping with my daughter's anorexia and it's difficult to sustain a vigilant, supportive and engaged role over long long periods of time - it's great that you are involved and she knows you care, I think your instincts are what you most need to listen to and you'll know whether or when to tell, and how to do it

Rather than calling her up and asking about her drug use (which she will see as pressuring), I would tell her it is understandable that she is curious about drugs and will try them especially if her friends are, but that she should know and aim to minimise the dangers. That Ketamine is especially dangerous if she takes it in unsafe places (i.e. anywhere but a familiar indoor place, with only friends around her).

"Don't do it" rarely goes down well with teenagers. "Accidentally killing yourself because you were on ketamine and couldn't judge the height of that ridge would be very stupid" might work.