3 year old won’t feed himself

[Hallo12345]

How do I get my stubborn 3yo to feed himself. He can use cutlery, a spoon, I don’t even mind if he eats with his hands but he just, 90% of the time, wants me to feed him. We’ve also got a 9mo baby who’s eating as well now and I feel like an octopus trying to feed them both and I’ve had enough! I’ve tried so many things like bribery with sweets, telling him his nursery friends feed themselves, he’s a big boy only babies are fed by their mummies, I’ve tried giving him adult cutlery to help him feel grown up. He’s absolutely just being lazy and stubborn but I don’t want a power struggle, he just won’t eat if I don’t feed him!

My eldest (similar age gap) went though this phase. I knew ultimately she was craving a bit of a connection at the dinner table so I compromised on her doing a set number of spoons herself and then me doing one or two - the novelty soon wore off especially if I was a little slow or needed a spoon for me first etc. I knew she was feeling a bit rattled watching sibling get all the attention at the table and the simple act of me sharing a few spoons with my eldest helped keep a peaceful atmosphere and limit resentment. Or I would say - you can manage your chips and j will help scoop up your beans

look baby is feeding herself and she’s a baby, you’re a big boy you should be able to feed yourself’.

Stop doing this - you are adding pressure

Sit him at the table and ignore the fact he’s not eating -

Eat your dinner and make conversation - ignore the not eating and don’t mention it at all.

As he knows when people are finished you leave the table and put your plate away.

Then call him for the next activity - bath, story whatever and don’t even mention food.

If hungry later, make him some cereal or toast at the table and sit and talk - he eats or he doesn’t.

Hell get the message without the attention.

I never spoon fed either of mine. SIL spoon feeds her 5 year old. At 9 months old I would scoop up the porridge or yoghurt then hand them the spoon to guide to their own mouths. I'd have a spare spoon or two in case they dropped it in the floor. By 10 or 11 months they hardly made any mess.

@AegonT thanks, maybe I’ll just do that with the baby so this doesn’t happen again. Deal with the mess just now at least she should be feeding herself as a toddler

Hi
any improvements?☺️

I know this is an old thread that has been resurrected, but I'm absolutely gobsmacked by the number of posters suggesting the OP just feeds her son or negotiates how many spoonfuls he feeds himself if she feeds him so many.

I hope OP listened to those posters saying just refuse. If my 3 year old asked me to feed him I'd laugh as if he'd asked me to pre chew his food for him while I'm at it.