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No wonder babies don't sleep! *lighthearted *
Purple89 · 12/03/2023 09:55
Is it just me or are the safe sleep guidelines literally everything babies hate?...
A flat uncomfortable hard surface
On their back - not cosied up on side or tum
Far away from cuddles with mum and dad
Temperate kept cool, not toasty and warm
Sleeping space wide open and barren rather than snug and cosy with bumpers
No comfy pillows or soft toys
When you think about it, it's a wonder babies sleep at all!
This may have suddenly occurred to me at 2.30am last night.... 😆
Purple89 · 12/03/2023 20:07
Tina8800 · 12/03/2023 19:06
I was thinking about this a lot! The fact that guidelines are constantly changeing also doesn't help. Even countries are very different.
Where I am from the doctors are telling you to use baby nest; newborns will feel surrounded and cosy. In the UK the guidelines are against it but allowed you to swaddle. Which in my country considered dangerous as they can easily overheat.
I always put my baby on the side and only turned her onto her back when she was deeply sleeping. She could never fell asleep on her back. I tried swaddling once: hated it. Loved the babynest.
So I think every baby is different and you kind of have to follow whatever works.
That's so interesting! I didn't know the safe sleep guidelines varied so much from country to coinrry (although i did know cosleeping wasnt so frowned upon in some countries, particularly non Western ones).
I also think the UK guidelines and the reality are quite different. For example I have many mum friends that use sleep nests, and that allow babies in their bed and don't follow the strict letter of the Lullaby Trust guidance, etc. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but I think a lot of mums aren't completely honest about what they do, for fear of judgement.
bussteward · 12/03/2023 20:39
In all honesty I do sleep DS on his side and have done since he could hold his head up a bit. I also don’t always do the C-shape position lying around him, it brings back my PGP from pregnancy – I lie flat on my back with an arm flung out to blockade him from pillows. Although the shape isn’t actually part of the safe sleep 7, it’s the bonus Thunderball. So I do 6 of the 7. Our bed mattress has got old and crappier than since DD was small and used to be on it, so it’s not the best surface, so I do try to keep him in his Snuzpod on the rock-hard tundra mattress. If he migrates in in the night I do the curl, largely to touch him for (a) warmth and (b) sense he’s OK on the crap mattress in a way I can’t on my back. I definitely sleep more deeply when he’s safe in his pod!
Kranke · 12/03/2023 20:44
This reply has been deleted
This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.
What? Babies in the UK have been sleeping in a cot for hundreds of years!!
There are so many more probable factors for this. People have only started to get therapy/talk about problems/acknowledge mental health comparatively recently. There have been so many social inventions (the internet, tv, social media, constant streaming).
As a previous PP says - would love to see this ‘research’!!!
Kranke · 12/03/2023 20:48
I tried cosleeping and didn’t work for me as fell asleep on my week old baby (my breast was smothering them), and my husband had to wake up. Works for some though, so I’d never condemn it. We found swaddling great. They slept flat on a mattress and zonked out!! Was very upset when they got to big for it!!
Also I think that our sleeping practices as adults aren’t particularly ’healthy’. Some pillows put your spine in an unnatural position, and partners snore and keep you awake at night - but we still do it as it’s deemed normal.
Daftasabroom · 12/03/2023 22:48
Purple89 · 12/03/2023 19:58
Awww!! I'm excited for the day my 4 month old can't do this. Very cute!
Daftasabroom · 12/03/2023 13:42
DS1 loved being swaddled, you could kind of see how happy he was. Once he was toddling he'd get out of cot/bed and come in with us. He'd then sleep sideways across our heads or just plain on our faces. The smell of a wet nappy 10cm from my nose, what joy.
MaryJean87 · 12/03/2023 10:04
I always swaddled mine even though it wasn't recommended as I found it the best way for then to settle. The guidelines had changed between having my eldest and fourth child, but the health visitor just told me to do it safely.
He can go through the night now, but he's also 6'2".
He got back from uni yesterday and the hug he shared with his slightly younger brother was pretty special, they were so happy to see each other.
Tina8800 · 13/03/2023 03:13
Purple89 · 12/03/2023 20:07
That's so interesting! I didn't know the safe sleep guidelines varied so much from country to coinrry (although i did know cosleeping wasnt so frowned upon in some countries, particularly non Western ones).
I also think the UK guidelines and the reality are quite different. For example I have many mum friends that use sleep nests, and that allow babies in their bed and don't follow the strict letter of the Lullaby Trust guidance, etc. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but I think a lot of mums aren't completely honest about what they do, for fear of judgement.
Tina8800 · 12/03/2023 19:06
I was thinking about this a lot! The fact that guidelines are constantly changeing also doesn't help. Even countries are very different.
Where I am from the doctors are telling you to use baby nest; newborns will feel surrounded and cosy. In the UK the guidelines are against it but allowed you to swaddle. Which in my country considered dangerous as they can easily overheat.
I always put my baby on the side and only turned her onto her back when she was deeply sleeping. She could never fell asleep on her back. I tried swaddling once: hated it. Loved the babynest.
So I think every baby is different and you kind of have to follow whatever works.
Exactly! I feel like while the UK guidelines are definitely the safest, it is also the most unrealistic. I have never met a baby who would go into a cold, empty cot on their back and would fall asleep.
Instead of telling us how everything will cause SIDS if we don't fallow these guidelines, they should educate us! Tell us how to co-sleep safely if needed, use babynest or what to do when the colic baby only wants to sleep on their tummy.
As you said, a lot of judgement here which only adds to our already existing anxiety to keep our little ones safe.
Itsneverwhatitseems · 19/03/2023 08:54
We followed the book 3in a bed.
Even with our twins.
Never had any sleep problems
Just read some of the comments on breastfeeding and tv watching.
Reminds me of the occasions when I’d get the twins both locked on, in itself a test. Ds1 on the boob reach to get the other baby but Ds1 now dropped off the boob, reach to sort out ds1 now dd2 has fallen off the sofa 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Eventually all sorted but the remote control is the other side of the room 🤯🫤
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