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B****y Do-gooders

63 replies

megg · 15/11/2002 09:27

Here's my rant - why can't people mind their own business if they haven't got anything helpful to say. Its rainy and blowing a hooley ds decides he wants to crawl along the pavement with his scoop, I've got one hand on him trying to haul him up, one hand on the buggy trying to stop it blowing away and ds is fighting all the trying to get his scoop when some stupid man comes up and tells me I shouldn't like ds crawl around on the pavement in this weather maybe that was why I was shouting at ds trying to get him up. It was probably the same man who told me in Tesco when ds was a baby and crying that I shouldn't take him shopping. What was I supposed to do leave him home alone? Then there are the old grannies who come up and tell me I'm cruel when ds is throwing a tantrum in the street and I leave him there crying (obviously I don't go far just far enough for ds to stop crying in shock). Then there are the grannies who tell me ds should have gloves on - how am I supposed to keep them on him tie them on? That's it I feel a bit better now but I do wish these people would mind their own business. I see kids getting whacked by their mothers in town but I don't see them going to up to them telling them that they're wrong.

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 15/11/2002 09:36

Megg, completely agree, very annoying. You could try asking them if they'd like to help. Or you could just tell them to f* off! Sorry, not very helpful.


SofiaAmes · 15/11/2002 09:39

I think you should tell them to f* off and then ask them to help.


aloha · 15/11/2002 09:50

I do sympathise. Now I'm a mum I offer to help all the time. If I'm out without ds I lug buggies downstairs, offer my seat on the bus to p/g women, offer to hold kids, try to entertain wailing ones in supermarket queues etc etc. Mind you, I would have done most of this before I had ds. I get told my ds (who emphatically WONT wear a hat) is cold by old ladies - well, duh. Mind you, I did recently see a big woman whacking her daughter who couldn't have been more than five round the head repeatedly and hard, and yes, I did tell her to stop it, that it was dangerous and cruel to hit a child on the head and to leave her daughter alone. She looked stunned and I was amazed at myself.


Scatterbrain · 15/11/2002 12:14

I think you should help them to f* off !!


Scatterbrain · 15/11/2002 12:17

But seriously ...... Like aloha I always try to help now I know how it feels but last week I was merrily making faces at a crying little boy ahead of me in the queue at Tesos, who was being ignored by his mum - I was cheering him up too - when his mother turned around and told me to f* off !! I didn't know where to look - I almost died !!! I was too shocked to say anything too !

What's that all about ? Did she think I was a child molester ? I was alone admittedly - but with plenty of kids thinngs in my trolley !!

Perhaps she was just having a bad day ? Ruined mine anyway !


megg · 15/11/2002 12:38

I don't mind people helping in fact its very welcome and I do help other mothers now. I should have added that just after the man ran off down the road (lucky he could still run after the look I gave him lol) two girls stopped and offered to hold the buggy while I tried to get a screaming, wriggling ds strapped in. So there are helpful people there its just the ones that offer their opinion on something they know absolutely nothing about or tell you the obvious instead of shutting up and doing/saying something constructive. The morning hasn't improved either, decided to make some cupcakes with ds but ended up fighting over that because he wanted to eat the butter. Then as quick as I'm putting mixture into the bun cases he's eating it. Wouldn't mind so much but he'd eat all the raw mix but won't eat the cooked product. He has made up for it now as he's sitting on the sofa counting to 10 and he's not even 3 yet I'm so proud!

OP posts:

chanelno5 · 15/11/2002 13:55

megg - And I thought I was the only person to meet the do-gooder or downright bitchy, unhelpful types, thank goodness I'm not alone. Once upon a time, those sort of comments did upset me, now it brings out the fighter in me and I give as good as I get (though try not to get in a fight about it, and most of the time I just think "Oh off and get life" in my head and ignore the blighters!!)


Demented · 15/11/2002 14:29

megg, I am reading your post and agreeing with everything where do these people come from, I'm sure they hide behind walls and wait for harassed mums to come by!


sis · 15/11/2002 14:40

Oh scatterbrain that is so horrible, rude and unwarranted! please don't stop trying to entertain bored little ones because of the rudeness of this woman!

megg, sympathy about the unhelpful man but it is nice to know that people with a brain cell did give proper help.


SoupDragon · 15/11/2002 14:54

Scatterbrain, you can entertain DS2 in the supermarket any time you want. He was doing his special Spawn of the Devil act for me this week. Then the little B*** uss his sandy moptop, cheeky grin and enormous grey eyes to act the angel when someone talks to him. Does my self esteem as a mother no end of good...


PamT · 15/11/2002 16:36

Don't you just hate it though when you're on the edge of doing something rash with your little one because they have been horrid and then someone comes along, talks nicely to them and they appear all angelic? I get a bit annoyed when I am doing the cross mum bit and someone else tries to make light of the situation. It belittles you and makes you feel worthless - perhaps I should offer the child to the person who wants to play with her so much!


Clarinet60 · 15/11/2002 18:27

I so agree. I'm plagued by old grannies all the time (where do they hide!)
I was once at a function where there was an outside balcony, all enclosed and safe, but with an odd bit of bird poo and green slime. I was trying to pull one year old, crawling DS1 away from the area altogether when an elegant granny, who had been observing me with narrowed eyes for a while, said 'Oh for goodness sake, just LET HIM GO!'
I've never forgotten how small, inexperienced and seething I felt. I was just coming out of a bout of PND too. Cow.


Scatterbrain · 15/11/2002 19:08

Ooh Blimey - now I feel like the interfering do-gooder !! Maybe the mum in Tescos was freezing her son out coz he had been horrid and I came along and made faces at him !!!

Eeeeeek - maybe it's my fault !!

Still - no reason to be so bloody rude!


aloha · 15/11/2002 19:44

No, no, no! Please don't anyone not smile at my ds. It makes both our days if people smile, talk and play with him. The man in Snappy Snaps was actually bouncing up and down from behind the counter to amuse my ds today, and he was highly amused. It was fab. Mind you, when I left I saw some horrible wizened old bag push her face into her thin, pale, silent but clearly upset grandaughter's face and shout, 'Shut your face!' in the nastiest, most violent way possible. I gave her a filthy look but felt like punching her lights out. So I suppose I am an interfering old bag (but secretly proud of it!)


Tortington · 15/11/2002 20:26

old people honestly where do they get off! my son opens doors for them without a please or a thank you and i remember when they were babies all the tuts and unwanted advice from strange oldies in general they get on my nerves!


megg · 15/11/2002 20:34

Don't forget the trolley in the back of the ankles in supermarkets.

OP posts:

hmb · 15/11/2002 20:50

Ds once had a huge tantrum in the school playground. I stood, about 3 foot away from him as he lay down on the floor and drummed his heels. I could tell it was just a strop because he kept looking at me every minute or so to see what effect this was having. He was quite safe, and wasn't hurting himself, or anyone else, so I was waiting it out. One Mum walked past me and asked if I knwe that my son had fallen and was upset. Daft cow! I felt like saying that I always ignored him if he hurt himself, but the irony might have been too much for this brain dead woman.


babster · 15/11/2002 21:19

Interfering old grannies and their unsolicited advice, grrrr... when dd1 was tiny I used to carry her in a sling and we kept running into an old bat at the bus stop who thought this the height of cruelty. 'Look at the poor thing clutching on for dear life', 'She'll get a squint from looking sideways'. It did act as great motivation to pass my driving test though


Tinker · 15/11/2002 21:30

lol babster! Not sure if I'm meant to though


Rhubarb · 15/11/2002 21:30

I've had old people opening a door, looking back and seeing me with my pram, and then letting the door shut in my face. Honestly - and they say we are rude!!!


Clarinet60 · 15/11/2002 22:31

Babster, that reminds me of a granny in a cafe who proclaimed, tutting, that car seats were the worst thing ever invented as 'babies don't get cuddled any more, just carried around in those things.'
I think DS2 in particular would beg to differ. He's constantly welded to my chest.


anais · 15/11/2002 22:48

There's recently been a campaign in our local paper from some miserable b***d who wanted to ban buggies from the town centre, and on buses. Have any of these people tried to get round town or on buses with buggies??? Grrrrrrrrrr


thumper · 15/11/2002 23:09

When dd was seven weeks old, we went down to Columbia road Flower Market on a Sunday morning (big flower and plant market in East London with cafes/quirky shops). DD was in sling with me and started crying a little. We were behind a middle aged woman who kept tutting and actually pushed me and baby out of the way at a stall muttering 'no place to bring babies'. Excuse me, this was a beautiful Sunday morning in the open air, family atmosphere. I got out of the way quickly and dh asked her what the problem was to which she reiterated her first point. When he told me, I marched up to her (baby still in sling) and asked her if she had children to which she replied 'yes, but MY children were properly brought up! For once in my life I managed to find the right words and asked her 'So did they like the dungeon then?'. Which was greeted by all the other poeple around me smiling and giving me thumbs up!! I then retreated into a side street and cried my eyes out. OOOH I wish I could meet her again!!


Clarinet60 · 15/11/2002 23:21

Anais and thumper, God, how awful both these are! Aren't some people just staggeringly horrible!


Ghosty · 15/11/2002 23:59

Thumper ... I am staggered ... did that woman really say that her children were properly brought up in comparison to your 7 WEEK old baby?
I ... er ... well ... (jaw dragging on the ground) am speechless!!!!

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